another caretaker (family member) questions?

when people watch your DC do you get mad when they don't follow schedule/rules?

I don't think I am over bearing, however DD takes a nap at 1pm (does not have to be on the dot)

We don't like her playing on furniture (jumping on couches, playing around glass tables, playing with picture frames, playing with doors)

Yet everytime DD's grandparents watch her our rules go right out the window and we are left with a cranky mess!

They are DH parent's and he has told them how we feel, yet they still take it upon themselves to listen to DD and what she wants.

WWYD?

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

That's a tough one. The point of grandparents is to let their grandchildren do what they want b/c grandparents like to spoil.
Now, if they were watching every day when I worked that's a different story. Then I'd expect them to follow most of my rules. If it's once in a while then let them spoil them. JMO

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

Honestly? Daycare.

Our original arrangement was MIL Monday, My parents Tues, and daycare the remainder of the week -

Aside from my MIL totally flaking and going away for over 6 weeks at a time, regularly - she would do the eact opposite of what I asked her to do - and question EVERYTHING.
My parents ended up taking Sean 2 days, so he's still in daycare for 3 - but if I had the same problem w/ my parents as well, he'd be @ daycare full time.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

my inlaws watched DS full time while I was working. he is a very spoiled little guy, does what he wants when he wants and doesn't listen to anyone!!! grandparents are there to spoil the grand children. we are def. paying the price I am now home with my 2 kids . we still have zero control over our older one SIGH!

people warn us all the time that our younger one will start copying the older one

i think Inlaws in particular are never going to listen to what you tell them

Message edited 8/18/2010 2:22:57 PM.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

I think that anyone minding my child for free is doing me an immense favor, so short of DS getting hurt in their care, they have free reign.

ETA: My MIL minds DS one work day a week, and the occasional once every few months wedding, and otherwise he is only with me or DH.

Message edited 8/18/2010 2:28:35 PM.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

I'm a SAHM, so the "caretaking" from my parents is just an occasional thing so I can do certain errands/appointments, etc. Since it's not every day, I let them do basically whatever they want with the kids. Yes it spoils them a little, but it's the price to pay for free babysitting IMO, lol!!!!

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

I dont, my mom is doing me a HUGE favor so I just let her be. DS is loved, and cared for and healthy. Plus whether my mom is DS caretaker or not, I feel like rules always go out the window when grandparents watch...and Im OK with that. (obviously not on BIG stuff).

My feeling is....shes MY MOM. She would never do anything to hurt me or my DS. She did a good job with me, so Im not worried about her taking care of DS.

Message edited 8/18/2010 2:30:20 PM.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

I do get annoyed. There are things I let go and then there are things that I can't let go. Most of my rules fall into the second part of that statement.

I have learned to clearly state what the rules/routines are. I told my mom, being that she is a caretaker she loses many priviledges that most grandparents get She is not allowed to spoil my DD or let her do anything she wants.

This goes for caretakers.

When we visit other family I let things go.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

thank you for the views. I am a SAHM so it's very occassional that they watch my DD, at the most 1x a week for a few hours so we can run errands.

I just can't understand why they can't put her down for a nap. They literally said, "she said she didn't want to take a nap." Since when does a 2.5 year old call the shots?

My DD also rats on them and tells them what they let her play with, like our glass coffee tables with pictures on it (she is never allowed to play with it with us) and 1x she was playing with a furniture cabinet & caughter her fingertip....2 months later and the blood under the nails still hasn't grown out.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

Posted by NewlyMrs

thank you for the views. I am a SAHM so it's very occassional that they watch my DD, at the most 1x a week for a few hours so we can run errands.

I just can't understand why they can't put her down for a nap. They literally said, "she said she didn't want to take a nap." Since when does a 2.5 year old call the shots?

My DD also rats on them and tells them what they let her play with, like our glass coffee tables with pictures on it (she is never allowed to play with it with us) and 1x she was playing with a furniture cabinet & caughter her fingertip....2 months later and the blood under the nails still hasn't grown out.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

Posted by NewlyMrs

thank you for the views. I am a SAHM so it's very occassional that they watch my DD, at the most 1x a week for a few hours so we can run errands.

I just can't understand why they can't put her down for a nap. They literally said, "she said she didn't want to take a nap." Since when does a 2.5 year old call the shots?

My DD also rats on them and tells them what they let her play with, like our glass coffee tables with pictures on it (she is never allowed to play with it with us) and 1x she was playing with a furniture cabinet & caughter her fingertip....2 months later and the blood under the nails still hasn't grown out.

Re: another caretaker (family member) questions?

Posted by NewlyMrs

I just can't understand why they can't put her down for a nap. They literally said, "she said she didn't want to take a nap." Since when does a 2.5 year old call the shots?