Need sleep advice (long)

Ok so here's the background info in bullet points since that may be easier to read over:

- DS is 4 months old (but was born 2 months premature)
- DS weighs about 12 lbs now
- DS eats about 4 oz every 3 hours
(Sometimes he eats 2 ounces, then will eat 2 more ounces anywhere from a half hour to an hour later)
- DS's daytime naps vary between 20 mins, 40 mins, 1.5 hours, 2 hours. Everyday is different and the number of naps also varies each day
- DS gets a bath every other night, followed by BF and then sleep (more like a 3 hour nap)
- On days that I work, I come home to BF anywhere from 6pm to 7pm. He will eat on and off for like 2 hours. He'll fall asleep on me, but if I put him down, he'll wake up and nurse some more.
- DS will usually go down anywhere from 9pm to 11pm and will sleep 3 hours, but has slept on a few occassions 4 or 5 hours.
- Doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why he sometimes sleeps 3 hours and why on those few times he slept longer.
- Once he wakes up around 1 or 2am, he nurses, falls asleep on me, but I basically can't put him back down without him cryingggggggg. So I pick him back up, he nurses again, try to put him down, cries, repeat. He will sleep if I put him in the swing, but I was trying to transition him into the crib. Maybe I should just stick to the swing for the time being???
- DS is up for the day at 6 or 7am everyday. BF and stays up for about an hour then naps. The rest of the day varies based on how he's feeling.

We have no set routine, I just follow his cues as does DH when he's with him all day and my MIL when she watches him. Our only routine is that he gets a bath every other night (unless he's fallen asleep and it gets too late, then he gets a bath the next night).

So now that you have the background, can you give me some advice on what to do to get more sleep? I'm pretty exhausted. I know he's still very little and so it comes with the territory, but if there's anything I can do to help him sleep better, I will try it.

I am NOT opposed to CIO at all, but won't do it at this point. I want to wait until he's 6 months old since that seems to be the most recommended age and he was 2 months premature.

That said, what else can I do? Should I do a bath every night to make that our routine? Do you think that would help? Anything else?

I just bought the " The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours a Night" by Suzy Giordano so I will be reading that soon. Since DS is BF and FF, I'm not sure how that will work, but I'm willing to try anything that should help.

TIA!

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

FM me and remind me to respond tomorrow when I have lots of time to write to you!!!

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

do you swaddle?

for us...that always works the best. i noticed that our DD would wake up when she wasnt "bundled" (for ex...the swing kind of keeps them tight vs the crib where they are more "free").

once your DS falls alseep (where ever it is)...i wouldnt move him (for now). we had the same problem w/DD waking up and id just let her sleep where ever she would sleep (for our sanity).

u said the only thing that was routine was the bath...but do u have him on a feeding schedule regardless of the naps??? for ex. after the first am feeding he eats every 3 hrs after that? and so on?

would it help to just pump and just use bottles?

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

First, I am so grateful for the original poster that gave glowing reviews to the book The Baby Sleep Solution.

My only regret is that I didn't follow it word for word in the beginning. As soon as we eased into the method, it was like magic. DS at 16 weeks is sleeping 12 hours a night, only waking up for poopie diaper at around 5:30am, I change him, and goes right back to sleep.
We are working now on Step 4, scheduled naps

My other regret is saying, well I don't need him to sleep 12 hours and made up a schedule where he sleeps only 8, I realized DS needs to sleep 12 hours, he does so well when he does. I don't know about other babies, but this advice was perfection for us. We just had to give up our preconceived notions of what is right.

The author doesn't say much about swaddle, other than she doesn't recommend it for older babies. But I would continue to swaddle if DS wasn't rolling around yet. I think he rolls around and fusses to find a comfy position to sleep. Otherwise I swaddled religiously, according the the "Happiest Baby on the Block" here's some insight to the method: video

A lot of what she says is hard to swallow, but its all done gently, nothing is pushed on the baby.

here is a quick run down

make a goal schedule where baby sleeps 12 hours a night, and eats 4 times a day, 4 hours apart

step 1: feed 4 times a day, every 4 hours during the day. continue with night feedings as usual.

do not do step 2 until step 1 is accomplished (my advice that is not said in the book)

step 2: slowly wean off night feedings

again, do not do step 3 until step 2 is accomplished

step 3: baby sleeps 12 hours

step 4: baby takes scheduled naps

She suggests a gentle fuss it out method. I don't think its CIO. I didn't quite get it at first, but the point is not to let the baby get too hysterical and catch them when they are just starting to fuss. This requires I think to really know your baby. You can think of it like Ferber with condition that you do not let the baby cry. You teaach them to self soothe.

If you need any specific help with this FM me. But the best advice I can give is follow this book. It worked wonders for us!

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

I think the advice you received already is great.

I know some don't agree, but I wake during the day to feed. If my DD is sleeping through her feeding, I let her sleep no more than 15mins past her feeding then wake her. And I only do this if her previous nap was shorter than normal. I've done this from day 1 and I like to think it had something to do with her STTN 7-9hrs at 1month old.

I push her to stay awake and play as well. She is 3months old and eats every 3hrs.

HTH! It will get better!

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

Re: Need sleep advice (long)

Re: Need sleep advice (long)