WWYD

Please don't quote.

Message edited 8/4/2010 2:57:18 PM.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

I think you said it best yourself, you need to do what is best for your family.

For me, I'd much prefer a M-F schedule for both of us so we are working and home on the same days. Sure, it is nice to have weekdays off sometimes too and we use PTO days for that but to me (and my family) having weekends off is better for us. I like to have two full consecutive days together as a family. It's just a preference.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

My DH works a similar schedule - 6 days on, 2 days off, for 4 weeks, and then two 3-day weekends in a row. We only pay for part-time day care and DS is with him two days a week usually.

I would kill, absolutely kill, for him to have off on weekends with me and DS. It is so, so hard to get things done when we only see each other for a couple of hours every night. Shopping and errands get put off for weeks. I honestly don't know what I am going to do with 2 kids.

DH and I try to make time to do things with DS and while it's hard we make it work - but it would be so much easier if we had the same days off. He does a lot of overtime, so he is almost never home before 5 or 6 (I get home around 4:30 - 4:45pm).

The only benefit is that I never have to feel guilty about having weekend playdates

I would also prefer to have DS in day care full time. The cost is not much more (about $30 per week) but he gets that much more socialization and consistency. I don't think my daycare offers PT daycare for infants under 12 months so I don't know if I'll have a choice for DD anyway.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by headoverheels

My DH works a similar schedule - 6 days on, 2 days off, for 4 weeks, and then two 3-day weekends in a row. We only pay for part-time day care and DS is with him
two days a week usually.

Hence, the reason we were all at BBB on a Saturday night - right?

Message edited 11/25/2009 1:00:52 PM.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

I think you're right about him needing to make the final decision because he has to be happy with it. When my DH had an irregular schedule he was miserable. He switched to a M-F 9-6 job not long before we had DS when he could have continued working 3 days a week (some wknds) and saved us a lot on childcare (which you're not even benefitting from now). But I SO treasure our weekends as a family. Maybe because we remember not having wknds together (pre-DS), we still really try to make the best of our wknds which I'm sure you'd do too. Sure, errands get mixed in but we divide and conquer, mostly during naptime, and make sure we do something fun as a family. I think this is just a change that might take some getting used to but it will all work out

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by SweetCaroline

Posted by headoverheels

My DH works a similar schedule - 6 days on, 2 days off, for 4 weeks, and then two 3-day weekends in a row. We only pay for part-time day care and DS is with him
two days a week usually.

Hence, the reason we were all at BBB on a Saturday night - right?

exactly!

I forgot to tell you - you look fantastic!

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by SweetCaroline

Posted by headoverheels

My DH works a similar schedule - 6 days on, 2 days off, for 4 weeks, and then two 3-day weekends in a row. We only pay for part-time day care and DS is with him
two days a week usually.

Hence, the reason we were all at BBB on a Saturday night - right?

exactly!

I forgot to tell you - you look fantastic!

Oh god - no I don't. I got home and told DH I bumped into you and was mortified when I spotted myself in a mirror in the furniture aisle - that's what I look like after attempting to get out on my own for 2 hours since 10AM that day (finally making it out at 6PM)
I realized how fat, pale and lovely I look in my clothes that are essentially PJs.

But thanks

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by CityBaby

I think you're right about him needing to make the final decision because he has to be happy with it. When my DH had an irregular schedule he was miserable. He switched to a M-F 9-6 job not long before we had DS when he could have continued working 3 days a week (some wknds) and saved us a lot on childcare (which you're not even benefitting from now). But I SO treasure our weekends as a family. Maybe because we remember not having wknds together (pre-DS), we still really try to make the best of our wknds which I'm sure you'd do too. Sure, errands get mixed in but we divide and conquer, mostly during naptime, and make sure we do something fun as a family. I think this is just a change that might take some getting used to but it will all work out

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by SweetCaroline

Oh god - no I don't. I got home and told DH I bumped into you and was mortified when I spotted myself in a mirror in the furniture aisle - that's what I look like after attempting to get out on my own for 2 hours since 10AM that day (finally making it out at 6PM)
I realized how fat, pale and lovely I look in my clothes that are essentially PJs.

But thanks

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by headoverheels

You are out of your mind. You are too hard on yourself - plus weren't you wearing a sweater? I don't wear sweaters to bed

Ladies don't listen to her, she is being modest

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Posted by SweetCaroline

(Am I psyching ya up for 2 under 2 yet?? )

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

I agree with you. My DH has a similar schedule. Constantly rotating. Its nice because he can spend a lot of time with ds and ds still goes to daycare twice a week for 1/2 days. I get home at 4:15 every day so i get a few hours with ds then and then i have weekends off.

For 2 months, we did not have 1 full day off together. It s*cked. But now dh has off every sunday and then in december every saturday. It's nice to look forward to that and to make the most of it. I don't mind spending all my time with ds on the weekends either. It gives us some one on one time.

I personally would keep his schedule as is. It has more advantages (i think). Yes you might not get as much time with DH, but it's overall better for everyone i think.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

I would do the M-F.
As for daycare, consisitency is good, so, that would be great for the kids.
I do have DH home on the weekends and honestly could not imagine it any other way.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Seems like you like your routine the way it is now. End of story.

Seems like he's excited to have a change???

Most likely you'll just have to see how it works out. Either you'll get into this new routine or you may have to adjust it.

I moved to TX to spend more time with my family on a whole. Even tho we are both M-F it seems I was home so late I rarely saw AJ. Weekends were rough cause she connected more with him that me and I ended up running errands and again not spending quality time with her and my hubby. Now we are both home at the same time and it makes a WORLD of difference. Its 'our' time, family time and its good.

But every family is different...

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

I would do M-F, and it's great he can be home a little after 4, he'll still get some time with the kids during the week. And you'll all be able to do things together on the weekends, which will be great for you and the kids.

As for weekends, you watch them now many times from the sound of it, so if you need to watch them a bit on Saturday so he can do yardwork, so be it. Or maybe he can do the yardwork while they nap on Sat. or Sun. You'll probably both need to talk about weekends and what will get done when. We need to do this or it seems like one of us winds up doing more of the childcare than anticipated, but if you plan, it usually works out.

Honestly, I'm envious. DH leaves for work at 7 and often doesn't get home till 8 generally, so he gets maybe 20 minutes with DS most days,, some he doesn't see him at all. It's not a situation we like, but then he has a good job, so I should count my lucky stars for that and many would envy that. The grass is always greener, huh?

But you both need to do what's best for your family.

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

He tells me now that he can go back to how it is now, so I guess it's something worth trying. It'll bite while I'm on maternity leave - was looking forward to those 3-day swings for a little relief

Re: WWYD - DH work situation

I think I would choose the M-F option for him. He still gets home way earlier than you (which I think you've said before that you don't get home until 7pm or so on weekdays). So he'll still have about 3 hours with the boys as male bonding time. As far as chores go they will get done.
As you said he will still have to make the final decision because you want him not to be resentful but I still think he can get that time in with the boys that he has now.