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babyfever08
Love my babies!
Member since 11/08 3938 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Jealousy
What do you do is there are some people so jealous that you are having a baby that they stopped talking to you. I understand that you want to have a baby, and may be upset. But to walk right up to my face, and walk away when everyone is congraulating us is just soooo rude. And it is not just one person. There are some nasty people out there. It is like everytime I turn around there is another person ****** that we are having a baby. I just feel like ripping their heads off!
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Posted 12/8/08 9:25 AM  |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Jealousy
I try to be very understanding and tolerant of anyone's behavoir when they seem 'off' ........
it's VERY diffcult for some couples to have a baby and I can only relate to a very very small part of that .....
that being said, I will understand someone avoiding me, not being overly excited, not coming to a party or whatever - etc - I will NOT tolerate someone being downright nasty and hurtful to my face - IMO there is NO excuse for that -
My friend actually had someone tell her
"I don't understand how God gave YOU a baby but not ME .............YOU are going to be such a BAD mother" ........
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Sorry, I don't care HOW distraught you are about your own situation, a comment like that can not possibly be justified .........Say that to your DH, say it to your mother, DO NOT say that to an expectant mother ........KWIM ??
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| Posted 12/8/08 9:34 AM |
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babyfever08
Love my babies!
Member since 11/08 3938 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Re: Jealousy
Posted by MarisaK
I try to be very understanding and tolerant of anyone's behavoir when they seem 'off' ........
it's VERY diffcult for some couples to have a baby and I can only relate to a very very small part of that .....
that being said, I will understand someone avoiding me, not being overly excited, not coming to a party or whatever - etc - I will NOT tolerate someone being downright nasty and hurtful to my face - IMO there is NO excuse for that -
My friend actually had someone tell her
"I don't understand how God gave YOU a baby but not ME .............YOU are going to be such a BAD mother" ........
-
Sorry, I don't care HOW distraught you are about your own situation, a comment like that can not possibly be justified .........Say that to your DH, say it to your mother, DO NOT say that to an expectant mother ........KWIM ??
Wow...I can't believe someone would say that. I swear people have no shame.
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| Posted 12/8/08 9:35 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Jealousy
I try to be sensitive, but I haven't heard from my BF since I told her we are PG. I'm just kind of realizing that there are people who will be supportive and wonderful, and those who won't be able to share this time with me. It's hard, but they all have their reasons.
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| Posted 12/8/08 9:43 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Jealousy
I would try not to take it so personally. You really have no idea what these people are going through, and speaking from the other side, after going through secondary infertility for close to 2 years, it became increasingly difficult to share in the joy in others' pregnancies. It didn't mean I wished any ill will on anyone, it just meant that everytime someone announced their pregnancy, it made my emptiness and yearning that much more poignant. Reclusing and isolating myself was a function of self preservation.
If someone is outright rude and says something inappropriate, I think it's justified to be upset, but if someone seems to withdraw a little more upon your news, I would take that to mean that they are very, very sad for themselves, rather than a reflection on how they feel about you.
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| Posted 12/8/08 9:48 AM |
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babyfever08
Love my babies!
Member since 11/08 3938 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Re: Jealousy
Posted by Bxgell2
I would try not to take it so personally. You really have no idea what these people are going through, and speaking from the other side, after going through secondary infertility for close to 2 years, it became increasingly difficult to share in the joy in others' pregnancies. It didn't mean I wished any ill will on anyone, it just meant that everytime someone announced their pregnancy, it made my emptiness and yearning that much more poignant. Reclusing and isolating myself was a function of self preservation.
If someone is outright rude and says something inappropriate, I think it's justified to be upset, but if someone seems to withdraw a little more upon your news, I would take that to mean that they are very, very sad for themselves, rather than a reflection on how they feel about you.
I understand what you are saying. But this person is 65 years old. She is not upset about not having kids. She is just mad that we are having a baby. SHe was ****** when we got engaged and she looked like she was at a funeral at our wedding. She is a mean person, and for some reason doesn't like me. Everytime I see her I swear I have the worst cramps ever.
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| Posted 12/8/08 9:51 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Jealousy
Posted by MarisaK
My friend actually had someone tell her
"I don't understand how God gave YOU a baby but not ME .............YOU are going to be such a BAD mother" ........
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OMG that has to be the worst thing I have ever heard.
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| Posted 12/8/08 10:05 AM |
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bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!
Member since 5/08 3242 total posts
Name:
Lupe
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Re: Jealousy
Posted by babyfever08
I understand what you are saying. But this person is 65 years old. She is not upset about not having kids. She is just mad that we are having a baby. SHe was ****** when we got engaged and she looked like she was at a funeral at our wedding. She is a mean person, and for some reason doesn't like me. Everytime I see her I swear I have the worst cramps ever.
she just sounds like she is old and bitter. i know it's difficult to hear "why pay her any mind?" but it's something you have to do...surround yourself by loving, supportive people, not mean old wenches!!
Posted by MarisaK
My friend actually had someone tell her
"I don't understand how God gave YOU a baby but not ME .............YOU are going to be such a BAD mother" ........
  i can't believe someone would say something like that!! have you no heart!?!? (obv not you, lol)
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| Posted 12/8/08 10:32 AM |
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asecretmommytobe09
My little pumpkin is here!!!!
Member since 10/08 3369 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Jealousy
well i had a similar situation happen to me on sunday. I told a friend of minne, she was suppose to be one of my BF, that i was PG, and she says Oh to me, and i replied all you can say is Oh" and she said "well what am i suppose to say congratulations? You and your DH said you were going to wait after your last loss, i dont understand what the rush is, and last time you were PG you turned crazy, so im sorry i wish i could say on congratulations but i cant."
How would anyone be if they were PG and lost their baby at 20 week, i think i earned the right to be crazy then.
Honestly some people i am sensitive too, that they are trying to have a baby and its hard for them. I feel blessed, But people that say such hurtful things i dont care what your problem is its just soo uncalled for.
So someone that is rude to you, you have every right to confront that person and say you do you think you are!!!!
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| Posted 12/8/08 11:35 AM |
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staceyd
LIF Adult
Member since 8/08 2052 total posts
Name:
stacey
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Re: Jealousy
Posted by MarisaK
I try to be very understanding and tolerant of anyone's behavoir when they seem 'off' ........
it's VERY diffcult for some couples to have a baby and I can only relate to a very very small part of that .....
that being said, I will understand someone avoiding me, not being overly excited, not coming to a party or whatever - etc - I will NOT tolerate someone being downright nasty and hurtful to my face - IMO there is NO excuse for that -
I have been having this happening to me with a really good friend... and at first, it hit me really hard.. i was so sad.. and upset thinking i did something wrong... but its not jealousy.. its that she is freaking out.. im the first to get preggo, we all just got married, and she is still single.. it must be a huge transition...
BUT she does not say anything nasty.. or make rude comments.. but I have to say.. being so hormonal.. it does hurt!
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| Posted 12/8/08 12:47 PM |
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