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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
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Re: School problems
Posted by Mrslittlebookworm4
Well, today I told him that from now on he will be taking the bus to the library where I work instead of going straight home. That way I can keep an eye on him and check his schoolbag before he hides anything in his room on me.
I think that is an excellent idea! It's a good place to do homework & you know that he is there & not playing with his freinds.
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Posted 1/16/06 12:12 PM  |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: School problems
I have a question, do you sit and help him with his homework? I teach in a K-8 school, so we see these kids from the time they are little all the way through that transition stage, and we find that a lot parents stop checking homework when their kids reach middle school. We've encouraged a lot of parents to start checking homework again and offering help to their children so that they feel like they have some more structure at home with their work.
I do like the suggestion that you tell him you will go to school with him if you have to. And infact, I think you should decide to pick him up from school one day, find his locker and help him pack his bags. Maybe this will be the motivation to get him to take responsibility. No middle school kid wants their parent down at the school putting their books away for them! It's a little mean, I guess, but hell, at this point, if it works, it works! Good luck!
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| Posted 1/16/06 12:34 PM |
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Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
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Re: School problems
I was going to ask the same about if you sit with him and do his homework . . . I was also wondering if the school has brought him up to an Instructional Support Team (IST). I am a middle school resource room teacher and many children that are struggling are brought by one or more teachers to the instructional support team where an administrator, guidance counselor, classroom teacher and spec. ed teacher brainstorm what has been done and what can be done about the difficulties the child is having.
Many excellent suggestions have been made. The middle school philosophy is to make students independent and prepared for HS, hence the reason they expect children to take their weekly progress report on their own.
Just keep trying to find the one weak point that your son cannot stand to give up and that should be used as his reward/consequence.
The agenda signing is also sounding very necessary. If your son is having major organization issues, ask the teachers for a set of text books to keep at home. Have a folder set just for homework, so any worksheets that are for homework can be placed and retrieved from one place. What often works is having a large binder where there are several single subject notebooks placed- one for each subject. This will help your son keep everything in one place.
The school social worker is an excellent person to turn to- they often have groups for students that are having a difficult time with organization and time management.
Good Luck- I know it is not easy, but trust me, the best thing you can do for your son is to continue to stay on top of him and support him. I also have a hard time with the idea of "he should be doing this himself by now." The fact is he is not and he needs all the support he can get to get him to the place he should be.
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| Posted 1/16/06 7:08 PM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: School problems
What I would do in your case is hire a tutor. I don't know how tight you are w/ money but I would call and hire a private tutor to help him. In my opinion as a parent we have to CARE for our children. The root word of Care is Karos or "suffering" in Greek. To care for a child is to suffer with them and be there for them. Have you expressed your lack of desire to help him? Does he know how fed up you are with him? If he does know, that is a major mistake, I'm not here to judge you as a parent but there are many more hardships that you may encounter as a parent. I pray to God that you don't, but you may. If you are married, is your husband involved? It takes a community to raise a child and I think you obviously need help with this issue. Check local websites for help or guidance. There may be something more there w/ your son. If he's a smart kid and is suddenly failing then he may be havin other issues in another area of his life. Is there anyone he is close to that he looks to for help or guidance, speak to them and have them ask maybe he will open up to them. Really, good luck and again be a pillar and a place of strength for your son. You may be doing more than you think by being a support system for him.
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| Posted 1/20/06 11:15 AM |
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Amanda
LIF Infant
Member since 1/06 52 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: School problems
My sister is eleven and believe me the girls are just as bad as the boys. Don't you remeber being that age....there are way more important things to do than school. My mom is a single mom so I have practically helped raise my sister. There are two things you could try. 1. Don't worry about it. He's 13 he knows the consequences. You need to pick and choose your fights at that age. If he's not passing request that he's held back or put in modified classes. It's hard because we all know important education is, but they don't realize it yet. So when they flunk out, they'll realize it.
2. Embarass the crap out of him. Meet him everyday at the end of school and go around with him to every single class and check and make sure he has all his homework. Or you can choose to go and sit through class with him. He won't like it and he'll be embarassed so he'll make sure that you don't come again by doing his homework and what not.
Hope it helps a little!
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| Posted 1/21/06 3:52 AM |
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Re: School problems
Posted by Jamie
I am also a middle school teacher and I know how tough it can be at this age. It can be the most challenging time but also hugely rewarding! I applaud you for being a concerned and active parent! That can make all the difference. I could tell you stories about parents that weren't
Lori gave you A LOT of great ideas. You can also call the school and see if it's possible to get a second set of books home.
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Have you ever had your son tested? Sometimes this goofying off could be covering for the frustration of not being able to do something?
Have you had him talking to someone to see if there is another reason for his acting out??
I wanted to add that I used to substitute in Jr. High all the time.. in fact its my favorite age... The only difference is that 99% of the schools I was sent to contained all of the kids that "schools cant handle" .. All of them were the "class clown" and had the same attitude.
Have you asked your principal to have a sit down with him and "threaten" to leave him back? Whether they can or cant, will or wont, somtimes hearing it from the man on top, may help open his eyes...
The idea about a second set of books is GREAT.. It provides a great way for your son not to use the excuse of "FORGETTING" a book or assignement. Do you have a fax at your or DHs job? Ask the teachers to fax over weekly assignments and keep it on your fridge. I know it may be a P:ITA for them, but if you get enough response, you son will see that a) you do care as much as you say and b) that you havent given up on him like everyone else has.
Unfortunately the children that tend to fall in those cracks tend to be the boys who are even more trouble in HS. See if there is a program, like a Huntington learning center, or something like that that he can go to to prepare himself for his future and his current courses.
You may also want to look into a "job" for him I know he is only 13, but there are some positions available for weekends, wiping tables, as a busboy, lawn care, etc to try and "prepare" him for real life. You can contact BOCES to see if there is something like that in your area. Let him see what growing up is all about, and that its not jsut fun and games.. Maybe the newfound responsibility is what he needs. I have seen great changes with boys in these programs.
And again, I have to ask about attention.. do you and your DH still give him the attention that he used to have, or is it constant yelling or discipline.. Find something exciting, Riverhead raceway, a concert, something BIG... to give him incentive."If you pass this quarter Dad anad I would love to take you (or add a friend too) to go and see________" See if that has any affect on his behavior. Make it bigger than just taking away the phone or Playstation...
I know that this period is very stressful in your life and as cliche as it sounds try to stay calm.. He will make it through it.. and so will you.. Again, I applaud you for your concern.. Dont stop your dedication to his future..
Hang in there!! 
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| Posted 1/21/06 12:11 PM |
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Re: School problems
Hi everyone!
I haven't been ignoring you - things have just been incredibly busy. I will get back to everyone on Friday night! And for those who FM'd me I will get back to you too! Thanks for all your advice everyone!
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| Posted 1/23/06 9:44 AM |
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Re: School problems
Here is an article that Newsweek did on boys in school.
Article
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| Posted 1/24/06 9:00 AM |
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