Now that you are parents...

What do you and DH do to keep the "spark" in your marriage.

I just feel so tired, I feel like I'm always telling him "I'm too tired tonight, honey" and I don't want or like that.

Give me some ideas on what I can do to get romantic again

Re: Now that you are parents...

i'd like to know the same thing!!

Re: Now that you are parents...

I know it's bad when DH agrees when I say I am too tried..poor guy.

We take advantage of "days off" We drop DS off at daycare and spend the day together...we also nap...and that recharges for fun

Re: Now that you are parents...

Well we try to go see a movie every weekend, or at least go out for dinner and my IL's will watch Julia. Then we will come back to our house before we pick her up for some alone time--lol

Re: Now that you are parents...

Posted by Ang-Rich

I know it's bad when DH agrees when I say I am too tried..poor guy.

We take advantage of "days off" We drop DS off at daycare and spend the day together...we also nap...and that recharges for fun

Re: Now that you are parents...

It gets even harder when you have 2.

We have set time to spend with each other, no tv-we do yoga together, have movie nights with wine, we have reading nights where we just cuddle up together with a book and thens there's night we just lay on our bed and talk about anything but the kids.
You have to work at it, but when you spend quality time together you start to remember the man you fell in love with and why you had babies with him and eveyrthing falls right into place.

Re: Now that you are parents...

Honestly, The BIGGEST turn on is when he helps around the house and w/Grace. I am positive that if DH's helped more, the sex thing would not be an issue.

DH comes home at 7:30PM by the time we eat dinner, give Grace a bath, etc. It is 8:30 or 8:45. 8:45 or earlier is Gracie's bedtime...NO EXCEPTIONS unless she is sick. If DH does the dinner dishes AND puts her to bed (diaper, book, teeth brushed and rocking her to sleep). All of a sudden I have TONS more energy and I am in the mood. We shut off the TV and have alone time.

It's when I feel that everything that has to do w/DD is ALL on me that I start to feel, physically and emotionally depleted.

I feel that if I have a 1/2 hour to myself when he comes home to recharge my batteries, I am into it. If it is a night when he has a class, or works late and cannot help out, I am exhausted.

Message edited 2/8/2008 2:28:50 PM.

Re: Now that you are parents...

Every month we take a day off from work and have a fun day - just me and him, doing whatever we want, whether it's going out to brunch, seeing a movie, or just chilling at home.

We also eat dinner together as a family every night - no tv, no radio. I think that helps...

Hire a babysitter at least twice a month to go out, or, if you have to stay in, make a nice dinner, get a bottle of wine and rent a video.

And do little sweet things to show him how much you care. I like to spend some time every weekend baking something new, just for him, so he has some treats for the week. He's really appreciative

Re: Now that you are parents...

Being that we were already parents just not to a child of our own probably helped us adjust. Just seeing him with our son gets me all warm and tingling...we both didnt want to have any more kids and then one day we just decided to have one of our own. So for us we've just added DS into the already hectic schedule...one thing we do do is we talk about BDing very very regularly (not in front of the children of course)..just little things, throughout the day. It seems to keep things ALIVE.

Re: Now that you are parents...

I don't know if its wrong, but we love the idea of sneaking around and a quickie here and there.

There really aren't any marathon sessions anymore, but its a fun phase we are going through.

Re: Now that you are parents...

Posted by dandr10199

Honestly, The BIGGEST turn on is when he helps around the house and w/Grace. I am positive that if DH's helped more, the sex thing would not be an issue.

DH comes home at 7:30PM by the time we eat dinner, give Grace a bath, etc. It is 8:30 or 8:45. 8:45 or earlier is Gracie's bedtime...NO EXCEPTIONS unless she is sick. If DH does the dinner dishes AND puts her to bed (diaper, book, teeth brushed and rocking her to sleep). All of a sudden I have TONS more energy and I am in the mood. We shut off the TV and have alone time.

It's when I feel that everything that has to do w/DD is ALL on me that I start to feel, physically and emotionally depleted.

I feel that if I have a 1/2 hour to myself when he comes home to recharge my batteries, I am into it. If it is a night when he has a class, or works late and cannot help out, I am exhausted.

Message edited 2/8/2008 3:13:36 PM.

Re: Now that you are parents...

Thanks ladies, these are all great suggestions! Keep them coming!

He helps out A LOT! I couldn't ask for a better DH. But when it comes to me telling and showing him, I fall a bit short.

Re: Now that you are parents...

Posted by LiveAgain110

i'd like to know the same thing!!

Re: Now that you are parents...

Posted by DUCKS2001

Posted by dandr10199

Honestly, The BIGGEST turn on is when he helps around the house and w/Grace. I am positive that if DH's helped more, the sex thing would not be an issue.

DH comes home at 7:30PM by the time we eat dinner, give Grace a bath, etc. It is 8:30 or 8:45. 8:45 or earlier is Gracie's bedtime...NO EXCEPTIONS unless she is sick. If DH does the dinner dishes AND puts her to bed (diaper, book, teeth brushed and rocking her to sleep). All of a sudden I have TONS more energy and I am in the mood. We shut off the TV and have alone time.

It's when I feel that everything that has to do w/DD is ALL on me that I start to feel, physically and emotionally depleted.

I feel that if I have a 1/2 hour to myself when he comes home to recharge my batteries, I am into it. If it is a night when he has a class, or works late and cannot help out, I am exhausted.

hehehe i just saw that on in the loop with IVillage.. if men clean the women get turned on





editied for spelling

Re: Now that you are parents...

Since I am preggers again, it has been hard- I am tired and have heartburn and I am just beat.

I want to be more spontaneous and romantic but I am so drained- and DH helps A LOT, so I can't complain.

We talked about it and agreed that our r'ship is good, and strong- we are best friends- we sort of accepted that it won't be as "romantic" for the next year or so with 2 under 2- but we will make efforts and try.

Re: Now that you are parents...

It may sound so cliche, but after a rough patch when DS was about 4 months old, we decided we need "date" night at least once a month....this could mean staying at a hotel, seeing a movie, going to a hot new byc restaurant....also, getting dressed up for the occassion

On a daily basis we do cute things for each other and honestly sometimes no matter how tired I am i try to garner some energy for bding

Re: Now that you are parents...

Well, for us its extra hard - because there is never time just for us - we are split with him also needing to be there for his daughters, so ontop of him working late, working Saturdays, and now going to school at night, we hardly ever see each other. I do the bulk of the child rearing for Cailen, and the house work, so honestly, I have no desire for anything anymore except for sleep, sleep, sleep which I hardly get any of...

I'm sorry - were you looking for advice, or a Liza b!tch-fest?

Message edited 2/8/2008 5:10:18 PM.

Re: Now that you are parents...

Posted by pmpkn087

What do you and DH do to keep the "spark" in your marriage.

I just feel so tired, I feel like I'm always telling him "I'm too tired tonight, honey" and I don't want or like that.

Give me some ideas on what I can do to get romantic again

Re: Now that you are parents...

Posted by pmpkn087

Thanks ladies, these are all great suggestions! Keep them coming!

He helps out A LOT! I couldn't ask for a better DH. But when it comes to me telling and showing him, I fall a bit short.