Do you ever get jealous?

I don't know if jealousy is the right word.. but when you hear about someone who is like... we had one "oops" moment, and OMG now I am pg, or we weren't really even trying and now I am pg......
I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I am always like, why is it some people don't even have to try and can get pg. And people who don't even want a baby can get pg. But I really want one and can't. I can't even freakin ovulate.

Getting pregnant is supposed to be a natural thing... and the fact I cant do it naturally... it makes me feel so defective.

Message edited 7/27/2007 12:35:48 PM.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

yes

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

Yes I do but I have learned that that feeling is temporary and I have to let go of it. If I don't I will be overwhelmed with negativity and at this poiny in my life I need to surround myself with positivity and hope. I get in the dumps sometimes and I think about how DH and I really cannot afford this and some people don't have to "pay" for a baby. We can't control what nature gave up and I think that is the worst feeling, but surrounding yourself with positivity and refusing to get down about this was my first step in gaining back some of that control. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

Yup

Jealous and mad

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

I'm pregnant after IVF but I still feel jealous and resentful of those "oops" people who get pregnant shraing the same soap. I tell myself how lucky I am and I am truly grateful to God that I am pregnant now but I can't help feeling the way I do over the "oops" pregnancies until this very day. It's just a natural part of the IF rollercoaster. Even when you do get pregnant after suffering from IF you never forget where you came from and how hard and long it took for you to get PG so I think that its totally normal.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

I know how it feel to feel defective. I feel that way all the time.

As for other people, I try not to think about them. I don't care about them. I am only concerned that being caught off guard by an "ooops" does not mean they will behave differently towards their child and that the child will be well cared for.

ETA:

I just read my post and realized it may be misconstrued. When I say I "don't care" about other people, that is not true. They too are blessed with a child and just because they weren't expecting it, doesn't mean they are less deserving. It is unfortunate that many of us have problems with fertility, but like Gerty says, it is not productive to be jealous or angry. I just cannot be that way.

Message edited 7/30/2007 8:13:14 AM.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

yes I understand as well. I try not to think about it too much because feeling that way isn't productive and only hurts me. When I feel like that I reflect on my relationship with DH and that grounds me and makes me feel much happier.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

A little, but I really don't focus on it because everyone is different.
To me it sort of feels like being jealous of someone who inherited a lot of money while I struggle to pay the bills.

There's always going to be something to be jealous of and it's just not a productive emotion.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

That seems to be my daily thought lately!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

As a high school teacher, this goes through my head on a daily basis. I think about what I had to go through to become pregnant and weekly we have a student(s) who "Opps, I did it again, off to the abortion clinic! It drives me insane!

I totally felt like I was defective. For a while it put a strain on my marriage and my bank account!

But talking to someone really helps!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

Yes - all the time, especially now, after my m/c. I wish people would keep the sharing of their "ooops" moments to themselves. My SIL pulled that on me, actually to my DH, who told me.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

I absolutely know how you feel. People get pregnant all the time, why can't I? It seems that I can't go anywhere without seeing a preggo lately. Blech.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

I completely agree. I told DH the other night that the worst part of all of this is that I feel defective and it shouldn't be this much work. I hope my next kid is an accident!!!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

Posted by MiracleBaby

Yes I do but I have learned that that feeling is temporary and I have to let go of it. If I don't I will be overwhelmed with negativity and at this poiny in my life I need to surround myself with positivity and hope. I get in the dumps sometimes and I think about how DH and I really cannot afford this and some people don't have to "pay" for a baby. We can't control what nature gave up and I think that is the worst feeling, but surrounding yourself with positivity and refusing to get down about this was my first step in gaining back some of that control. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

yes i think even thoguth we dont want to on some level we all do.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

It's only natural to feel a pang of jealousy, but as long as it passes and doesn't linger I think we'll be fine ladies!!!
Good Luck!!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

i totally understand how you feel , not really jealous but why couldnt it be me?! Know that God is in control, and rejoice for those that concieve and give birth before you, and live in great hope that it will be youone day soon , in Gods perfect timing! my question to God is why me? why not me? this waiting period is making me a stronger person and knowing that God chose me to go through this knowing that i could endure it!! even when i feel like im going to buckle, i keep the faith and stay in the race!!!!!!! it will be our turn soon. weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning!!!!
look at it that God is preparing us for great things in our future! stay strong and put your Trust in the Lord!

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

I was always jealous in those situations.

Re: Do you ever get jealous?

yes! yes yes yes! i actually get angry when children have children! here we are.. in our 30s, married and responsible adults. and to see these teenagers pregnant or toting an infant really hits me hard! i mean what the heck, g0d?! did i do something wrong here?

i accepted the fact that i cannot concieve in the all natural typical way. all this IF stuff is a journey. and i now have a 5mth old baby boy. he's healthy, he's beautiful and he's mine. i absolutely love him. i still am disappointed when i see a teen having kids. it's something we have to deal with.. i guess.

much hugs to everyone TTC!