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I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Well, I have to say, this kid is great - he wakes up every 2.5 to 3 hours, but its always for a reason - dirty diaper, hungry, etc...
But I'm beginning to notice that he doesnt like to be put down as he did in the beginning - he now whines and cries until I pick him up, and then of course he stops.
I don't mind now because I'm on leave and I love holding him even at 3 in the morning, but am I asking for it for when I really will want my sleep?
I know he is 8 days old, and everyone says you can not spoil a newborn. I'm just wondering when the time comes when I should start pushing for him to self soothe? 3 months? sooner?
I feel like I am being trained very well by him, and like I said, I love every moment I spend with him, but I dont want to start something that I'll have trouble fixing when he is a little older - should I worry, or will it resolve itself once he is more aware of whats going on?
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Posted 4/12/07 12:32 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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sweetpea
xoxo
Member since 7/06 2467 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
they say u cant "spoil" a newborn but i kinda think u can. to me, my DD was totally able to tell when i put her down and would want to be held. (never stopped me from holding her all the time) but the good news is that it only seemed to last a couple of weeks where she wanted to be held ALL the time.
by 2&1/2 months she wanted to start being down more and in her swing or on her play mat. the more she is able to see the happier she is being put down.
so pick that baby up all it wants for the first few months and love every minute!!! 
Message edited 4/12/2007 1:13:21 PM.
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| Posted 4/12/07 1:04 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
If he wants to be held, hold him. That is my opinion. But, if he is perfectly fine just haning out laying there, don't hold him.
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| Posted 4/12/07 1:06 PM |
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LInative
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 1977 total posts
Name:
Cassie
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
At 8 days you're def. not asking for trouble - he is used to the motion/comfort of being in your belly! Definitely too early to spoil. As to when it becomes habit, I would guess between 2-3 months, but it's different for every baby I am sure.
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| Posted 4/12/07 1:41 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Ii had the same thoughts..I looked into it and what I learned was..
at this early of a age when they cry and fuss they need to be held.
If they are tended to right away this is how they gain trust.
All i had to do was read this and needless to say I felt bad having them cio.
Max is def more needy then Jake but I figure in the long run--they will be too busy for me so I am taking advantage of all extra loving!
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| Posted 4/12/07 1:49 PM |
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MrsPJ
Joining Team Blue with Baby #2
Member since 5/06 1155 total posts
Name:
Tiffany
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
So glad you asked this because I am going through the same thing with Vincent!!
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| Posted 4/12/07 2:07 PM |
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Thanks ladies - I agree - 1st of all - I'm thinking - this is the only time in his life he is going to want his mommy all over him anyway, and I want to drink up every minute of that... and I also want him to know he is taken care of - today, I had to go to the bathroom soooo badly and wanted to do it before I fed him - he cried sooo loudly - it was the most he ever cried and I felt awful, but I needed to go 
At this point, I hold him whenever he whimpers, let alone cries - I cant help it - hopefully I'll be able to handle it when he gets older....
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| Posted 4/12/07 3:53 PM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
yea...i wouldnt be worried yet....your baby is so used to being in your belly where he felt so secure,warm,and was "held" for 9 months-it takes about 3 months for him to get used to being seperate from you.
You cant spoil a baby before 6 months old-for now Id hold him when he crys&make him know he's safe while adjusting to his new enviorment!
I ordered "the happiest baby on the block" video-
I really really suggest it for new moms-
it gives you such insight to a newborn's view of the world-
and it TOTALLY taught me how to sooth them when they cry-the Dr on the video is a bit corney, but really knows babies...his tequniques worked like magic.
I ordered it when my son was about 10 weeks old, and only wished I had it those first few days home!
Message edited 4/12/2007 4:05:23 PM.
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:04 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
You can't spoil a newborn and sorry to say you will probably be going back to work sleep deprived for a while unless you get very lucky. Newborns do not have the capability to self soothe. I held my daughter all the time, I never let her cry until I felt it was age appropriate for her to learn how to go to sleep on her own, play on her own, etc. It all comes in time. Right now he runs the show and you are there to meet his needs. It changes so fast though and soon they tout their independence so enjoy it because you will miss it.
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:04 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
You know my philosophy...Babies were designed to be held. Get yourself a sling...start babywearing! Its the right time!
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:12 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
You know my philosophy...Babies were designed to be held. Get yourself a sling...start babywearing! Its the right time!
I agree whole heartedly!
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:25 PM |
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by racheeeee
You know my philosophy...Babies were designed to be held. Get yourself a sling...start babywearing! Its the right time!
Oh I want a sling so badly - we have the baby bjorn, I was going to start using that soon...
Ladies - I want it to be clear that there is NO way I'm having him cry at this point in his life - I pick him up at every opportunity - he sleeps so much, I relish opportunities for us to be together - I am just curious of when you have to start working on that separation - I just dont know when it becomes so habit to always pick him up, that there is a time when really I dont "have " to anymore (although I'll always want to!)
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:26 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
I personally don't believe you can spoil a child who is so young and I just read this:
The baby under six months who has needs met promptly is less likely to be dependent, whining, or still clinging to you as a toddler. In fact, babies whose needs are met promptly as an infant seem to cry less as a toddler.
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:32 PM |
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by WoodIAm
I personally don't believe you can spoil a child who is so young and I just read this:
The baby under six months who has needs met promptly is less likely to be dependent, whining, or still clinging to you as a toddler. In fact, babies whose needs are met promptly as an infant seem to cry less as a toddler.
ITA - where is this from? Would love to read more about this stuff!!!
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:32 PM |
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dawnie
Barb-Never removing this pic!
Member since 11/05 3932 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
I also heard that every time you have physical contact with a newborn their brain grows. I learned that in nursing school.
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:38 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by WoodIAm
I personally don't believe you can spoil a child who is so young and I just read this:
The baby under six months who has needs met promptly is less likely to be dependent, whining, or still clinging to you as a toddler. In fact, babies whose needs are met promptly as an infant seem to cry less as a toddler.
ITA - where is this from? Would love to read more about this stuff!!!
http://www.cyberparent.com/parent/parents-crying-it-out.htm
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:42 PM |
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by WoodIAm
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by WoodIAm
I personally don't believe you can spoil a child who is so young and I just read this:
The baby under six months who has needs met promptly is less likely to be dependent, whining, or still clinging to you as a toddler. In fact, babies whose needs are met promptly as an infant seem to cry less as a toddler.
ITA - where is this from? Would love to read more about this stuff!!!
http://www.cyberparent.com/parent/parents-crying-it-out.htm
Thank you!
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:44 PM |
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by dawnie
I also heard that every time you have physical contact with a newborn their brain grows. I learned that in nursing school.
Yes - all contact with newborns creates brain development - that is why so many orphaned babies in poor countries have such difficulty creating attachments when they are adopted at older ages.... if they come from crowded orphanges where there is minimal contact, they miss crucial areas of development...
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:46 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by WoodIAm
I personally don't believe you can spoil a child who is so young and I just read this:
The baby under six months who has needs met promptly is less likely to be dependent, whining, or still clinging to you as a toddler. In fact, babies whose needs are met promptly as an infant seem to cry less as a toddler.
ITA - where is this from? Would love to read more about this stuff!!!
Dr. Sears and Attachment Parenting are also other great resources. You may not agree with everything but I really liked a lot of their newborn/bonding stuff.
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| Posted 4/12/07 4:48 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by WoodIAm
I personally don't believe you can spoil a child who is so young and I just read this:
The baby under six months who has needs met promptly is less likely to be dependent, whining, or still clinging to you as a toddler. In fact, babies whose needs are met promptly as an infant seem to cry less as a toddler.
Do you know what...I totally believe that! Noah cries when I leave him at nusery sometimes and the usual separation anxiety crap...but in general he hardly cried! Go on, hold that baby! (not in a bjorn, in a real proper ring sling or an ellaroo or a wilkinet...google them)
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| Posted 4/12/07 5:33 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Hold him every, single second you get the chance. believe it or not, they DO get to the point where they don't want to be held anymore
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| Posted 4/12/07 5:37 PM |
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by prncssrachel
Hold him every, single second you get the chance. believe it or not, they DO get to the point where they don't want to be held anymore
Oh dont get me started - I already hysterically cried to DH tonight that one day he is going to grow up and these baby days will be gone!!! 
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:18 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
Posted by lastchance1222
Ii had the same thoughts..I looked into it and what I learned was..
at this early of a age when they cry and fuss they need to be held.
If they are tended to right away this is how they gain trust.
All i had to do was read this and needless to say I felt bad having them cio.
Max is def more needy then Jake but I figure in the long run--they will be too busy for me so I am taking advantage of all extra loving!
ITA.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:41 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: I think I've been "trained" already - am I asking for trouble? Sleep related...
DH and I were worried about the same thing. Jacob was not only wanting to be held all of the time when he was first born but he was colic also for the 2 months so we had to hold him to calm him down. The pediatrician told us that if he wants to be held, we should hold him and we cant spoil him. He is now 4 months old and he is able to play longer without being held. I think eventually they grow out of wanting and needing to be held all of the time and start to be ok with playing by themselves..especially when they can start grabbing their toys
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| Posted 4/13/07 8:26 AM |
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