| Posted By |
Message |
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Would this bother you?
Because our family is spread apart, I asked to have two small showers instead of one big one where everyone had to travel.
My mom threw me one this past weekend and my MIL is throwing the LI shower for me on the 15th.
I just got an email from MIL saying that now my shower is going to be a shower/birthday party for my 3 year old nephew.
So my shower is 1-4 and at 4:00 it turns into a b-day celebration for him.
I'm a little annoyed.
Nothing is ever just mine or just DH's for them. It always winds up being about my BIL and SIL and the kids.
Is it too much for me to ask that just ONE day be about me and DH?
It's too late now to change it, because she sent an evite to the whole family for the birthday party.
But even so I'm upset.
Am I being a brat?
I welcome honest opinions.
|
Posted 4/1/07 9:06 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
nmp070106
My girls!!
Member since 8/06 5843 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Would this bother you?
i was in the same boat, my shower was on dh's cousins bday and she wanted to throw his party that day, and guess what she did,,, and evryone went to that and not my shower, and my invites went out first and they are RSVPed to my shower..............
so i say ya it bothers me.....
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:09 PM |
| |
|
Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
It wouldn't bother me. Three hours of attention seems like plenty.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:11 PM |
| |
|
MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
|
Re: Would this bother you?
I wouldn't say you're being a brat because I think its kinda odd to combine the two, but your MIL might be miffed you wanted two smaller showers. Maybe she preferred to go to a big one and see everybody? I don't know....
Message edited 4/1/2007 9:14:53 PM.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:14 PM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Posted by MrsBlueSash
I wouldn't say you're being a brat because I think its kinda odd to combine the two, but you MIL might be miffed you wanted two smaller showers. Maybe she preferred to go to a big one and see everybody? I don't know....
I don't think that's it. Everyone was very grateful about not having to travel to me.
And MIL gushed on and on about how happy she was to be involved because she's usually "left out" because her sons "don't include her".
I just don't know.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:17 PM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Would this bother you?
I agree with you. Yes it would bother me that your day just couldn't be "your day" for you and DH to be honored with your shower without it turning into a 3rd birthday party afterwards I do not think you are being unreasonable at all... it's inconsiderate on the part of your MIL to try to do this all in one day, when they could have easily done the 3rd bday party another time. So what if people have to GTG 2 different days for 2 different events (meaning to get together for your shower with the inlaws side and then separately to get together for your nephews birthday party)
... I just don't think it's right 
Message edited 4/1/2007 10:19:30 PM.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:31 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Would this bother you?
i think its weird yes.
I can 100% understand having two smaller showers because you live out of state from a lot of the family.
I would want it to be about me. ESPECIALLY because of the long struggle you went through to get Pregnant, the infertility, the treatments, the IVF...You only getone shower for this baby ( or two small  ) but It should be about you.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:52 PM |
| |
|
alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
it would definitely bother me. bratty or not, i would want my shower to be all about me, not a shared event
|
| Posted 4/1/07 9:55 PM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Honestly, I would feel cheated out of my own shower!
|
| Posted 4/1/07 10:38 PM |
| |
|
monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Mine was that way. MIL was nice enough to give me a shower with family in NY but also had to give DH's grandmother a 90th birthday. There's no way family would travel 2 days in a row so first was the shower with all the women and then afterwards it was the birthday party. Honestly I didn't mind at all but I can understand why you would feel the way you do.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 10:41 PM |
| |
|
rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
yup! I would be pizzed!!!!! Not fair to you at all.
Message edited 4/1/2007 10:57:55 PM.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 10:57 PM |
| |
|
jameswife
LIF Infant
Member since 1/07 197 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Would this bother you?
It would definitely bother me. Everyone needs their special day.....it doesn't really happen often. I think it was really considerate of you to split your baby shower into 2 to accommodate ppl that would have to travel far. The same consideration should be given to you.
|
| Posted 4/1/07 11:38 PM |
| |
|
Mrs
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1652 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
it would bother me if this was my only shower. Honestly, since you will have another shower, you could look at it as a bonus At least she is splitting it, 3 hours JUST you and than its the nephew - could of been worse, and mixed in.
|
| Posted 4/2/07 8:09 AM |
| |
|
Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Is the day of the shower his actual birthday? If it were I guess I would be a little more understanding about it (if it were me) but if not I honestly would be annoyed...actually - let me be completely honest and say that I would be annoyed no matter what but wouldn't say anything. As we got closer I am sure that I would calm down and once the excitment of the shower is underway it would disappear.
|
| Posted 4/2/07 8:33 AM |
| |
|
lolagranola
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/06 572 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
I don't blame you for feeling hurt, especially since there's a pattern of this sort of behavior from that part of your family.
ETA: If I were in your situation, I'd probably just "grin and bear it," to avoid conflict. After all, if you did say something, what might the effects be? Would they realize that their behavior is sometimes hurtful, or would they just get defensive?
Message edited 4/2/2007 8:57:24 AM.
|
| Posted 4/2/07 8:55 AM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Posted by lolagranola
ETA: If I were in your situation, I'd probably just "grin and bear it," to avoid conflict. After all, if you did say something, what might the effects be? Would they realize that their behavior is sometimes hurtful, or would they just get defensive?
Oh I do have to just grin and bear it. There's nothing that can be done about it now.
This is just a very distinct pattern with them.
My birthday is two days before my BILs and do you think I ever get to pick the place we go?
My wedding happened to coincide with the time BIL and SIL were having "issues" and several things became all about them on the day.
Including SIL complaining that I should have told her that my song with my dad was "You are so beautiful" because that was BIL and SIL's wedding song and I should have known that (I didn't, nor did anyone tell me, nor would I have changed it.)
I just feel like DH has always gotten the short end of things. We always do what's better for them because they have the kids.
Makes me worry if my kid is ever going to get his fair share either.
Okay...I guess I have a lot of issues with them. 
Thanks everyone.
|
| Posted 4/2/07 9:10 AM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Posted by Ang-Rich
Is the day of the shower his actual birthday? If it were I guess I would be a little more understanding about it (if it were me) but if not I honestly would be annoyed...actually - let me be completely honest and say that I would be annoyed no matter what but wouldn't say anything. As we got closer I am sure that I would calm down and once the excitment of the shower is underway it would disappear.
I think a birthday though can be rearranged, especially a young one.
My cousin's daughters 1st b-day fell on my shower date as did my nephews and both my sister and cousin changed or didnt plan the party on that day.
|
| Posted 4/2/07 9:14 AM |
| |
|
snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
That is pretty lame. There were ways to avoid that and she simply didn't do it. You are NOT being a brat.
|
| Posted 4/2/07 9:28 AM |
| |
|
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Would this bother you?
Posted by dm24angel
i think its weird yes.
I can 100% understand having two smaller showers because you live out of state from a lot of the family.
I would want it to be about me. ESPECIALLY because of the long struggle you went through to get Pregnant, the infertility, the treatments, the IVF...You only getone shower for this baby ( or two small ) but It should be about you.
ITA. weird to share, sorry
|
| Posted 4/2/07 9:29 AM |
| |
|
twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Would this bother you?
I think its weird because aren't you having your own friends at your shower? Are they supposed to bring a birthday present?
|
| Posted 4/2/07 11:01 AM |
| |
|
