Headstrong 3 year old

So my DS is very very headstrong. He can be borderline OCD at times and it drives me nuts.
Everything has to be a certain way. He doesnt want to get dirty hands or food on certain clothing items that are his favorites etc. If he sees the pool is full of toys and he wants to swim he removes every single toy. To him it just isnt right.
The problem is if i try to put the toys back for instance bc someone else wants to play, or if i get something on his favorite shirt etc. he flips out, has a melt down.
Ive tried every form of punishment for the bad behavior (his reactions) -- time out, taking away or throwing away toys, ignoring him.
Nothing seems to work.
Any suggestions, or do you think this is something i should bring up to the pediatrician?

Re: Headstrong 3 year old

My headstrong child is turning 5. I don't have much advice because it's part of his personality and he doesn't seem to be affected by any consequences. He's fiercely independent and stubborn and has been this way since he was a toddler. I pick and choose my battles. I try to give him a choice so he feels he has some control over the situation. I can't really reason with him in the moment when he gets worked up so we talk about it afterwards, but he still acts the same way. It's definitely challenging having a spirited child.

Re: Headstrong 3 year old

It's hard to say not seeing his reactions, but if punishment doesn't work or escalates things, I would do the opposite then. Try hugs and reassurance - tell him you will wash the shirt, etc. Sing a song like three little birds(every little thing is gonna be alright).

Re: Headstrong 3 year old

Posted by MrsS2005

My headstrong child is turning 5. I don't have much advice because it's part of his personality and he doesn't seem to be affected by any consequences. He's fiercely independent and stubborn and has been this way since he was a toddler. I pick and choose my battles. I try to give him a choice so he feels he has some control over the situation. I can't really reason with him in the moment when he gets worked up so we talk about it afterwards, but he still acts the same way. It's definitely challenging having a spirited child.

Re: Headstrong 3 year old

Posted by ali120206

Posted by MrsS2005

My headstrong child is turning 5. I don't have much advice because it's part of his personality and he doesn't seem to be affected by any consequences. He's fiercely independent and stubborn and has been this way since he was a toddler. I pick and choose my battles. I try to give him a choice so he feels he has some control over the situation. I can't really reason with him in the moment when he gets worked up so we talk about it afterwards, but he still acts the same way. It's definitely challenging having a spirited child.

What she said.

Re: Headstrong 3 year old

Posted by b2b777

Posted by ali120206

Posted by MrsS2005

My headstrong child is turning 5. I don't have much advice because it's part of his personality and he doesn't seem to be affected by any consequences. He's fiercely independent and stubborn and has been this way since he was a toddler. I pick and choose my battles. I try to give him a choice so he feels he has some control over the situation. I can't really reason with him in the moment when he gets worked up so we talk about it afterwards, but he still acts the same way. It's definitely challenging having a spirited child.

What she said.

Thanks ladies. I honestly have been losing my mind and thinking he is the only one with all these quirks! I know i was a difficult child growing up as well. Im a bit of a control freak. I feel bad for my mother in these moments LOL

Re: Headstrong 3 year old

Posted by ali120206

Posted by b2b777

Posted by ali120206

Posted by MrsS2005

My headstrong child is turning 5. I don't have much advice because it's part of his personality and he doesn't seem to be affected by any consequences. He's fiercely independent and stubborn and has been this way since he was a toddler. I pick and choose my battles. I try to give him a choice so he feels he has some control over the situation. I can't really reason with him in the moment when he gets worked up so we talk about it afterwards, but he still acts the same way. It's definitely challenging having a spirited child.

What she said.

Thanks ladies. I honestly have been losing my mind and thinking he is the only one with all these quirks! I know i was a difficult child growing up as well. Im a bit of a control freak. I feel bad for my mother in these moments LOL

I also find it better when others approach him on things - not me. Like this summer, he's been anti pool. I got him in the kiddie pool at our local pool on the 3rd and his friend got him in the big pool on the 4th. He had a blast but, needed to do it on his own terms.

He hates things in his shoes so I started bringing his sneakers to the pool so he could play on the playground without wood chips in them.