The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

This seems to happen to me at least once a week. I'm in the bathroom at my (public) workplace and someone random (with whom, I presume, I am not acquainted) is in a stall crying (like heaving sobs) or sounds like they're in pain. Would you ask if they are ok or need help or would you stay out of it? I never say anything but then I feel bad.

The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I would ask if they're okay and if they need anything. Is a small gesture that might not be welcomed, but could mean the world of they're looking to talk to someone. If it's not welcomed, no harm will be done. Reach out.

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

Wow you have someone crying in your workplace bathroom once a week?
What kind of a place are you working in? What are they doing tto these poor women?




I would just call out- are you ok?
They will probably say yes and not want anything... but it seems like the right thing to do

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

Lol. It's not the employees. It's a large public place that thousands of people are using but there are no employee bathrooms. It's weird because sometimes someone will be having a big loud domestic on the phone in a stall or be sharing their emotional distress out loud to the room. I feel like if I'm always alone in the bathroom with someone it's weird to offer to get involved not knowing if they're volatile etc.

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I would ask if they were ok

I used to go to the bathroom to cry when I was going through fertility treatments. Can't call out sick for Every failure. You never know what she's going through

The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I agree with the peps above :)

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I would bring a box of tissues and slide it under while asking if they were ok

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

Gosh.. the previous posters are so much nicer than me. I'd awkwardly make my exit to give her privacy (after peeing, of course).

The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I can't say what I would do, because it could definitely be awkward, but I hope I'd at least ask if everything was ok or if there was anything I could do. I know how much it could mean to have someone - anyone- show some compassion in a moment of distress. I was traveling when I got a phone call that my mother was seriously ill and in the hospital. I knew it was very bad and had to take the next flight back, by myself. I was in the airport, unable to control my crying when a woman I didn't know came up to me and asked if I was ok and if she could hug me. My mom passed away a few days later and I will never forget her kindness and how much it meant to me in that moment.

Message edited 3/7/2017 7:06:54 AM.

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

Those are some great perspectives. I guess you never know what someone is going through and what a small gesture can mean.

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

Can I ask if you work in southwest Suffolk county? I do and I also work in a public facility where we have a person comes in and does the same thing. She's in almost every day, but I know that she travels between us & other locations. At least once a week she has meltdowns where she cries inconsolably and/or screams at the top of her lungs into her phone (outside the front entrance of the building). I'm curious if it may be the same woman...

I've had to intervene with the woman at my facility and learned that she is mentally ill. She exhibits extreme paranoia and I think is fast approaching the point where she may become violent or act out in order to "protect" herself. To be honest with you, it was eye opening and while I feel for her, I regret having intervened because I worry a bit that I may have now become a part of her narrative (I don't want to post the specifics on here, but it's a little nerve-wracking).

Being that the woman that you're encountering isn't a friend or a coworker, you work in a public facility & this is a regular occurrence, I would advise NOT getting involved, even if it's painful to listen to & your instinct is to help like mine was. The general public is a mixed bag and you never know who walks into our public buildings and what their background is. It may sound callous, but you need to protect yourself first. In my case I was happy to help at first, but now while I don't feel like I'm in imminent danger, I am nervous at times when I see her having an episode and I shouldn't need to feel like that at work...neither should you.

Message edited 3/7/2017 10:06:25 AM.

The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I work in Nassau. But I have had experiences exactly the same as yours and it prevents me from reaching out even when I feel bad .

The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

I want to say I would ask if she was ok but I'm super shy and would probably pretend not to see

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

If I went into a bathroom stall to cry, I probably wouldn't want anyone to intervene.

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

it can't hurt to ask, and could possibly help.. i would at least ask (from the privacy of your own stall) if they're ok and need anything.
The person won't see you which helps avoid any awkward run ins later in person

Re: The kindness of strangers? What do you do?

Message edited 3/7/2017 8:37:37 PM.