How do you minimize tantrums?

DS is 3 and is usually very good. Some times when he doesn't get what he wants he gets very frustrated which is what happened today. He was playing in the lego store in the mall and we told him several times we needed to leave the store. Once we finally left he was crying and trying to stop me from walking saying he wanted to go back in the store and when I tried to pick him up he went limp and fell to the floor. Is there any way to avoid a meltdown or to stop it when it starts?
Edited to change initial question. I realize you can't stop tantrums but I'm hoping to minimize them.

Message edited 4/12/2016 12:38:08 PM.

How do you raise a kid that doesn't throw a tantrum?

To answer the name of the thread: you dont have kids lol

Honestly when were out and she throws a tantrum. I remove her from the store we go home and shes punished.
I do talk to her about it.

Kids are going to have tantrums they have feelings they dont understand. And they cannot control their too young. The ID takes over.

I let her know throwing a tantrum does not get her what she wants. She can use her words. Its ok to be frustrated and upset but that is not how it gets expressed. Then i try to ask open ended questions to ask about what she was feeling.

I have taken toys away when shes done that. Or taken away privaleges like the ipad. Or watching tv. Or getting a treat that she was supposed to get like a cookie.

We also read these books from a series called: when i feel... theres one on anger, worried, etc...she really likes them and i find they have helped to explain what feelings are.

Message edited 4/12/2016 12:16:27 PM.

How do you raise a kid that doesn't throw a tantrum?

I think tantrums are normal. Heck, sometimes I want to throw a tantrum!

Re: How do you raise a kid that doesn't throw a tantrum?

There is no way to raise a child who doesn't have tantrums. If someone says their child doesn't have tantrums they are lying! All kids have tantrums at some point it's a healthy part of growing up.

Now some kids tantrum more than others. You cannot give into tantrums. I don't reward bad behavior period. Let them either have their tantrum until they can calm down or remove them from where you are. If my kids continue to throw tantrums after I try to get them to calm down they lose a privilege iPad, tv, bed early.

Re: How do you raise a kid that doesn't throw a tantrum?

Re: How do you raise a kid that doesn't throw a tantrum?

I agree they are normal, but I think how you address them will determine if they stop or will continue.

Re: How do you minimize tantrums?

Message edited 4/12/2016 1:47:49 PM.

Re: How do you minimize tantrums?

At home, we ignore the tantrum but if it gets really out of hand he gets a time out.

In public, we give him a time out, take him aside and talk about why he's frustrated. The process calms him down and redirects him.

How do you minimize tantrums?

Dd is generally very good but she still has her moments. I do not give in to tantrums and always remind her crying will not get her what she wants. We talk about feelings regularly to help give her the words to express herself. I think when they understand their own feelings it's helpful and obviously if they can tell you how they're feeling then you can hopefully talk them through it. Ignoring it doesn't work with Dd, she is very sensitive and wants to talk things out. Sometimes we have to distract her a bit and then talk once she's calm. In a case like not wanting to leave somewhere, if I know it may be an issue I set a timer on my phone so she knows she had a finite amount of time. If she doesn't listen when the time beeps she gets a consequence. By setting clear expectations, clear consequences (and sticking to them), and making an effort to address her feelings I would say our tantrums are at a minimum.

How do you minimize tantrums?

our first kid didn't really seem to have them much in 2s and 3s. then I was shocked when second started before 2 yo.... It varies. Time out, take something away, like dessert... Ignoring it hasn't helped out kid. We continually say to use words when crying.

Re: How do you minimize tantrums?

Tantrums in toddlers is similar to crying in adults. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for being very upset, and sometimes there aren't. Just like you can't tell an adult to not cry, you can't tell a toddler to not tantrum.
You can help them figure out a way to work through it with the minimum amount of distress to themselves and everyone around them, but tantrums are how kids express themselves.
They are too young to control their emotions and express what they are feeling (they often do even know what they are feeling), so I think it's best to try and work on coping skills.
Just like adults, everyone has different ways of dealing with emotions. Some like talking it out, some just need to be alone, some need a physical (but safe) outlet, etc.
There is no "one size fits all" solution, so try some things for a while, and if it isn't working, try something else.
For almost all kids, they do outgrow it when they learn to deal with their emotions and express themselves in more effective and productive ways.

How do you minimize tantrums?

Those of you who are saying "we talk to them about why their upset/we ask them what the issue is/etc"

I assume this only works for older (3+? 4+?) kids?
When their 15 months or even 2 years old, they're too young to discuss things ("I'm crying because I want to watch tv and you are not letting me") because their vocabulary is too small, etc...

true?

How do you minimize tantrums?

My daughter rarely has tantrums (she is 3 now) but the few times she did it was a doozy. Nothing worked. She was carrying on like I've never seen. Couldn't calm her. I just waited until it was over. It's just one of those things

Re: How do you minimize tantrums?

Re: How do you minimize tantrums?