Is this the terrible twos? (when to start discipling?)

My DD is about 17 months old now.
She doesn't talk yet, but she babbles a lot.

She understands some instructions, such as if she is holding something and I say "Give that to mommy" she'll walk over to her and hand it over.
BUT, if we say "Go pick up XYZ and give to daddy" - I don't think she would understand that.

Now, the past few months, she has been crying a lot.
If she is holding a medicine bottle and we want to take it away she won't let us and starts to cry.
If we try to put on her shirt, she won't let us and she cries
If we try to put her in the stroller/car seat - she won't let us and cries
If she is making a mess with her spoon, and I take away the spoon so I can feed her, she cries.
If she is watching a video and we feel its enough time, and we stop it - she cries
She tries to brush her teeth, but has no idea what to do with the brush other than bite on it, so when I try to show her (adjust the brush in her hand) - she won't let me and cries

Basically - anytime she doesn't get her way or if we try to make her do something she doesn't want, or take away something she is holding - she cries.

Is this the terrible twos/normal?

My mother said that DD is too young to understand, you can't explain things to her yet/punish her because her mind can't grasp logic/consequences/etc yet.
So she said to let DD do what she wants now, and when she is older, then you can explain things and she'll understand.

Is that the way to do it?

Punishments won't work because like my mom said - DD won't understand things.
She doesn't even understand when I say "pick up the book and bring it to me" - how is she going to understand "You need to be in the car seat or we're not going out" or "Put on the shirt or you're getting a time out"

Message edited 10/12/2015 2:26:35 PM.

Is this the terrible twos? (when to start discipling?)

It's normal. I wouldn't quite say it's terrible twos, but she's starting to figure out what she wants and when she doesn't get it she reacts.

I agree you can't punish her bc she won't understand the cause and effect of that yet.

She's beginning to test you and check her boundaries. Just don't give in when she starts to cry. Distract her with something else and redirect her attention. The crying lasts for all of about 30 seconds. They're just starting to learn right and wrong.

Message edited 10/12/2015 2:44:06 PM.

Is this the terrible twos? (when to start discipling?)

I agree, too young to discipline. I'd wait until closer to 2 for time outs, etc. This is the she to just redirect and avoid whenever possible. I tried not carry dd in the kitchen at this age bc she'd always want something she couldn't have. I pretty much tried to do out of sight,out of mind. Not a fun phase but it will pass.

Re: Is this the terrible twos? (when to start discipling?)

This is a very frustrating age for them. They can't fully communicate yet and are starting to test limits. Hence all the crying. I agree out of sight, out of mind. I also picked my battles (i.e. If there's a certain show you know as soon as you turn off, she'll freak out and you need to go somewhere, I'd avoid it. Things like that).

This too shall pass.