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jade123
LIF Infant
Member since 9/13 168 total posts
Name:
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holiday party gifts chaos
I host an annual family xmas/hannukah party. This year because of family dynamics and new babies I was going to open it up to my siblings' families (SIL's parents/sister, BIL's parents, neices, etc). It would probably be 30-35 people if I do that (including kids). Last year I kept it "small"- just my immediate family. That alone was 5 kids (17 total) and I felt it was a little chaotic with gift giving. All the grandparents, aunts etc give the kids gifts and half the party is wanting to see the kids opening the gifts and playing with them. It's a mess of wrapping paper and I always fear it turns into jealousy of who bought and received better gifts and since My in laws are my kids' grandparents but not my brothers' kids' grandparents, for example, there is some inequality in how many gifts each child receives. I don't expect or want every person to be buying every child a gift or of the same value gift, esp since some, including myself, aren't related to some of the kids. How do you do your holiday parties? I was planning to pre- announce that this year I will be buying every child a small gift he/she can open here together and all gifts from every guest will be put away and opened after the party by my kids/given to the respective child to take home and open. If the giver wants to see the recipient open it we can do it via facetime. I think this would piss off some people, esp my MIL and SIL who make a big stink if my kids (ages 5 and under) don't open gifts in front of them. What is the right thing to do? What would you do? I want it to be an enjoyable party without pissing people off but I also don't want jealousy or chaos and I certainly don't want every adult to be buying every child, including those they don't know, a present. We only do gifts for the kids. I do a lot of food and festive activities. TIA!!!
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Posted 9/6/15 6:05 PM  |
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quasi3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1764 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: holiday party gifts chaos
My family is 40-50 every year.
We always opened our gifts and it was never an issue of who got better gifts.
My cousins would get gifts from their aunts, uncles and grandparents. I only got from their grandparents- usually a small item <$20. We never felt left out or envious of anyone.
In my opinion, having them take home gifts defeats the purpose of getting together and sharing in exchanging gifts. I wouldn't be very happy if I was invited someplace this was taking place.
Part of the fun of exchanging during the holiday season is the chaos that surrounds it. Grab a glass of wine and sit back an enjoy it.
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| Posted 9/6/15 7:51 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: holiday party gifts chaos
Posted by quasi3
My family is 40-50 every year.
We always opened our gifts and it was never an issue of who got better gifts.
My cousins would get gifts from their aunts, uncles and grandparents. I only got from their grandparents- usually a small item <$20. We never felt left out or envious of anyone.
In my opinion, having them take home gifts defeats the purpose of getting together and sharing in exchanging gifts. I wouldn't be very happy if I was invited someplace this was taking place.
Part of the fun of exchanging during the holiday season is the chaos that surrounds it. Grab a glass of wine and sit back an enjoy it.
I agree.
My fondest memories of the holidays was the chaos of it all, including the craziness of unwrapping gifts.
We never fought over who got what.
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| Posted 9/6/15 8:13 PM |
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jade123
LIF Infant
Member since 9/13 168 total posts
Name:
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Re: holiday party gifts chaos
thank you yeah not opening gifts doesnt really make sense. My MIL seems to take it so personally if DD or DS don't like her gift the BEST and it's always so annoying and chaotic and everyone is so damn sensitive but I guess that's part of holiday family parties LOL
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| Posted 9/6/15 8:27 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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holiday party gifts chaos
We have 20 to 40 people every year. Everyone buys for whoever they want to. No one feels stiffed.
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| Posted 9/6/15 8:29 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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holiday party gifts chaos
With that many people, do the kids even know that one got more gifts than another? I know it can get chaotic, but there is no way I would have the gifts put away to be opened later. To me, that takes away a big part of the fun of Christmas for both the kids and the gift givers.
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| Posted 9/6/15 9:18 PM |
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Blubtrflygrl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/15 609 total posts
Name:
allison
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Re: holiday party gifts chaos
We have about 20-25 people and 4 kids and after a couple years of chaos, the kids now get a few big gifts delivered by "Santa" to open and the rest are opened at their homes the next day.
My ILs go to my house and my SIL on Christmas Day too to do the rest of the gifts, and my parents do Christmas at my house.
I'm all about starting whatever new traditions work best for you, especially as the host.
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| Posted 9/6/15 9:30 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: holiday party gifts chaos
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
We have 20 to 40 people every year. Everyone buys for whoever they want to. No one feels stiffed.
I agree.
If there's a really special big gift to your child from one grandparent, invite that grandparent over early to share. This way, no one feels awkward. Otherwise, just another lesson kids need to experience and learn. Kids get it.
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| Posted 9/8/15 8:32 PM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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holiday party gifts chaos
I have to agree with the idea that nobody should care and if they do shame on them. I have been to cousins parties that got more from thier grandparents and vice versa. As long as there is something for each kid to open then I wouldn't worry about who got what. That would seem petty.
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| Posted 9/9/15 9:03 AM |
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MrsS1231
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/15 495 total posts
Name:
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holiday party gifts chaos
DH family has 11 kids under 18. My SIL does Christmas Eve with everyone and Santa comes and brings 1 gift per child.
Each parent picks a childs name at Thanksgiving and set an amount and that should be spent. It cuts down on the time spent opening gifts and everyone gets an equal valued gift.
Each child sees their grandparents on Christmas day so this works for us but my not work for you.
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| Posted 9/9/15 1:37 PM |
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