starting daycare - how do you deal?

my 4 year old and 2 year old are starting in september. we are in queens so 4 year old is doing nyc universal pre k and 2 year old is doing daycare at the same facility. my 2 year old is going 3 days a week for 8 hours a day and i am just beside myself. i don't know how to deal with the sadness and the worry i have. the thought of her crying, being confused and wondering where i am makes me so sad. we went to visit yesterday and the teachers told me all kids cry and eventually acclimate and adjust. and I'm sure thats true, but how do we know what damage, if any, those feelings of being abandoned have on kids. my kid has never done anything without a parent or grandparent with her, so i am sure she is going to cry and feel anxious and i can't help but feel such guilt that i am doing it to her. ugh. how do we get over these feelings? what was your experience like, particularly if you started your child later in daycare?

Re: starting daycare - how do you deal?

I started both my kids in daycare right around age 2. My DD never cried, happily ran off to play with the toys and other kids on the first day. She had been home mostly with me and only had been babysat by grandmas on occasion, so this was brand new to her. DS (same scenario prior to daycare) cried at first but was ok after a week or so. He also would only cry for a few minutes and was fine the rest of the day. He still cries when I do the drop offs but is fine for DH (he's very attached to me).

I don't feel guilty about it, I think it's very good for them. They are learning, socializing and getting lots of stimulation. They both ask to go to "school", which tells me that they enjoy it. If you are happy with the teachers and what the program offers, try to focus on all of the benefits that they're getting.

Re: starting daycare - how do you deal?

It is so hard seeing them cry when you drop them off. But it is totally normal. DS has been in a few different daycares since we have moved over the years and the first few times are always a bit scary for him. New places and people. But they adjust and it's good for them to establish confidence and independence. Teachers always say they stop crying as soon as you leave (don't know if that's true!). Just think about how happy they are to see you at pick-up - it's the best!

starting daycare - how do you deal?

I started my DS at 8 weeks and honestly I was happy. He was a baby that cried 24/7 and I needed a break. I was worried they were goign to call me and say you have to take him back cause all he does is cry....well the first day they said he barely cried and has been happy as a clam there since!.

kids are resilient. They may be upset but a good daycare will know how to get them involved and re-direct. Also don't expect it to be perfect....it may take a few weeks for them to adjust.

Re: starting daycare - how do you deal?

Re: starting daycare - how do you deal?

I think it is harder to start them older but it is better as they can tell you if anything has gone wrong.
Both my kids were put in at 12 weeks and they did fine. My younger cried more when I left, but not a lot and they always said he stopped within 5 mins or less.