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Message edited 3/30/2007 1:29:16 AM.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

Well, I cannot answer truly firsthand because SIL is preggo. But, DD is their first grandchild and they absolutely adore her, you can just see the love they have for her in their eyes. I am truly grateful for my DD to have them in her life. That being said, I am positive that my IL's will treat all of their grandchildren equally and love them just the same. It is similar to the love you have for your child, when you have another, you make room for that new little life and love them just the same.


However, I do not think you're crazy, I have heard of some sad stories of IL's treating grandchildren different. This really upsets me, and actually makes me sick

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

,m

Message edited 9/29/2007 9:01:22 PM.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

They treat them equally except they live much closer to SIL's son. We live 1000 miles away so they don't see Miranda often.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

I was worried about this before we had dd since my nephew was their first grandchild. He is 4 and for 4 years he has been King. They also live much closer than we do.
Now that DD is here it does not seem like an issue and my sil had their second child - a girl - in April so now they have 2 nearby and we are in NY.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

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Message edited 3/30/2007 1:29:27 AM.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

mine are the opposite. They are so into someone carrying their last name. So my SIL's kids(their daughter) are out. My BIL(their son) has only had girls so far. I am sure if mine is a boy, he will move up in the ranks. If mine is a girl, I am behind the others.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

My husband is an only child and his parents are great, they dote on Noah, but from a distance, which makes it a lot easier. Everyonce in a while my MIL says something really cringeworthy...but I know she has good intentions and she is very hands off and un-pushy.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

I have found that no, IL's treat their daughter's child differently. They act like my son is "tainted" blood!

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

My DS is the first grandchild on both sides. My MIL and FIL are so in love with him, they especially love that he is a boy and he looks jus like my DH. I don't think they will be any different when my SIL has a baby(if she ever does)

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

DS is the 4th grandchild on DH's side and even though my SIL lives in a two family with my IL's I dont think they treat DS any differently.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

My IL's smother my DD when they see her and my MIL always askes me 100 questions about my DD like I don't know what I'm doing, its like she wants to know everything we are doing with her, like we need approval. So
I would Love if my BIL and SIL would have a child, it would take the tension off of us and Julia, but I don't think its going to happen.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

My FIL and MIL are divorced. My FIL hardly comes around and recently my MIL stopped coming too.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

My husband only has a twin brother, so they treat allthe grandkids the same.
I thought that when I had Madeline that my parents would be over the moon. And they are- at lleast they say they are, but they treat my brother's kids differently. But that may be because Olivia was the first, they live 10 minutes away from each other in RI, and they watch them a few times a week. I wonder how it would be if they still lived here.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

I haven't noticed a difference. My MIL dotes on all of her grandchildren, and Ella is no exception. She's the 7th grandchild for my ILs (1st for my parents) and the other 6 are from my MILs daughters.

Message edited 7/28/2006 10:29:56 AM.

Re: IL's and Grandchildren

What I've noticed with my in-laws is that nothing will ever change the way they feel about their FIRST grandchild. For my in-laws I can tell there is a *little* preference there. Jake is their 3rd grandchild though and as far as treatment, he is definitely loved and spoiled as much as the others. But I do notice, that when it comes to the first, they talk about her more, she's always "amazing" and "SO smart", etc etc. They don't talk about her younger sister that way. When the first was born, we got email updates everytime she farted. With her sister, she might be in college before anybody mentions HER "amazing" feats.

It might sound bad, but it's really not. I have absolutely no resentment for the way they treat Jake or anything like that - they are wonderful with him. You can just tell they have a special place in their heart for their first. In your case, that's a great thing. I wouldn't worry.

ETA: The first grandchild is her youngest daughter's child.

Message edited 7/28/2006 10:43:27 AM.