Religion

My MIL is super religious. As in that's all she talks about... well preaches about. I'm not. My DH is religious but no where near as preachy as she is. I had my children baptized and they will have religion in their lives... but we're in no way a go to church every Sunday family. Recently ever single time she comes over she brings the kids religious "gifts." Books.. dvds.. dolls that pray etc. DH spoke with her about toning down the preaching. Yet now it seems like this is her way to drill her beliefs into my kids. Would you say something about this or let it go? I don't care for MIL so sometimes its difficult for my judgement to be clouded

Re: Religion

I would have your DH speak with his mother. I find that when things need to be said to a parent, it is best coming from their child. You want to be a united front on the issue, but there is less "blame" for the spouse when the parent's child is the one to do the talking. I would thank her for the gifts and then discard them when she leaves. I would also explain to your children while your grandma really believes X we believe Y. We love grandma, and she is a good person, but the reason we believe Y is zzzzz. I would have DH say something along the lines of mom, we love you, and we know that your religion is extremely important to you, but if you could limit what you are doing to holidays only we would really appreciate it. This way it is not shunning her, but limiting the exposure to something more tolerable. HTH ETA: You could also say you want to limit clutter/toys. My in-laws bring toys for my kids every time they come here. I had to put my foot down and say no. You can bring stuff, but it has to go back home with you. It went beyond gifts for holidays to every time they come here or we go to them my kids got new toys. My kids then said what did you bring us. I was very upset by this because it became about the toys rather than the person. I said no more toys - I want them to just be happy to see you. The joy of the visit is being with grandma and grandpa, not just getting a toy. Perhaps if you phrase it in that context it might help too.

Message edited 3/17/2013 10:27:54 AM.

Re: Religion

As long as its your family's religion then I wouldn't have a problem with it. My in laws are the same way. At least it's a positive influence :)

Re: Religion

Re: Religion

I guess I just don't see anything wrong with religious dolls and books. I didn't read the post to mean she is indoctrinating the children with her beliefs. Now if she is sitting there having bible studies or something, then that's a different story.

Religion

I assume that DH and MIL practice the same religion. Would you be annoyed if it was your DH buying your children the same religious gifts? If it supports the same religion DH follows, I wouldn't see an issue with it.

Re: Religion

If DH was purchasing the sames types and amounts of gifts and did the same level of preaching it would absolutely bother me. In fact, if he was on her level of religious we would not be married.
I'm glad some woman share my same thought process. And I told Dh enough is enough... and he agreed. He said he'd talk to her.

Re: Religion

My SIL does this with my kids. She doesnt have kids of her own. It's so annoying. I just throw the stuff out when she leaves.

Religion

I understand what you're saying, but I seriously doubt she is trying to be rude. It sounds like it's a huge part of her life and she is trying to share it with her grandkids. My grandmother is Catholic and while my father was raised that way we never went to church. We were baptized, but the extent of our religion was going to church with her and my grandfather when we stayed Saturday nights and maybe on the holidays. I know it bothered my Dad how religious she was and how she always tried to push it on us, but I enjoyed the exposure! I liked going to church and learning about God. Now I also got sick of all the talk lol, but I never saw it as being forced. I guess it was because I just always knew where she stood, and because of her I stand strong in my faith today. I am very grateful for that. Left to my parents I doubt I would have much of a religious life. I just wanted to throw in another perspective.

My suggestion would be to maybe have DH explain we appreciate you sharing your religion, but the kids are little and are getting overwhelmed. We have enough toys, books, dolls. Please stop bringing things over. We want to teach them about our faith, but slowly and we have a plan. This acknowledges her strong belief and perhaps it will ease her fears of the kids not getting religion. I think that is more where it stems from. The flip is there are worse things she could be showering your kids with too!
If you have different religions, I 100% understand the problem.