Little upset should I say something or let it go?

We went to visit my MIL yesterday, my BIL and his wife were there also, with their kids. They have 3 kids , one is DS's age . I BF DS but if I do give him expressed milk in a bottle I never use a microwave to warm it up, I use hot water or a bottle warmer at home. Anyway, so when DS got hungry I put a bottle in hot water and waited, my SIL warmed up her DS's bottle in a microwave, she asked if I wanted her to warm up my DS's too (which was nice of her) so I said no thank you, it's already warming up , I didn't say oh I don't use a microwave ... She said why don't you use a microwave ? I said I don't know, I just don't. Plus I rarely use a bottle so it's ok. She rolled her eyes at her DH , I saw but let it go.
Then later they turned on TV, we don't let DS watch TV , he is only 5 months but we want to try and stick to no TV for at least the first year, which is what we did with DD. DS was sitting in his little seat in front of the TV, so I asked DH to move DS , he moved him, without saying anything. My SIL asked why, I said we are trying no TV for now ... She said oh but it's so hard with older siblings, I just let them , I will never get anything done if I don't let them watch TV...
I said I know, but for now we are trying to stick to no TV policy with DS, so far it's going well, we'll see.
Again I saw her rolling her eyes asa I "turned my back"

I know she doesn't approve of some things , but why roll your eyes? And why question me every step ,this is not the first time this has happened , where she questioned me like this . It's getting a bit tiring. I never ask her or anyone why do you do this, or why don't you do this, know what I mean?
So do you think I should say something or just let it go?
DH thinks I should say something nicely so it doesn't build up and I don't explode one day, lol.
What do you think ?

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

I would let it go. I feel like it's over now but I would come up with something witty to say next time. As for the microwave I would say something like you don't want hot spots in the bottle and for him to burn his mouth. Or for the micorwaves from it to turn his brain to mush and see what she says hahahahaha j/k

I know people look at me like we are weird too. I saometimes lie when my family sends candy to my dd. Like for vday my sister and sent a gift and my sister put in like 5 little bags of m&m's. We don't let her eat it. When we are visiting there I get looks but I know how I ate growing up and I know how my nieces and nephews eat at my moms, especially, and at home. It's full of junk. I don't want dd to be like that.

They think I'm nuts with the organic milk etc. I just don't say anything.

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

I wouldn't say anything this time but next time I wouldn't be so passive and also I would tell her why the rules you are following are recommended and something snippy along with it like, "I'd rather take two minutes to heat water than risk burning my baby". The fact that she rolled her eyes in front of you tells me she would roll her eyes if you reached out now.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

I would let it go too. But for the microwave I would say something like the pp mentioned about hot spots. BM is not supposed to go in the microwave at all in a plastic bottle. The bottle can leech plastic into the milk. It is really unhealthy. I would have said something along those lines. If it bothers you that much, start doing the same thing to her. See if she likes it. When she says something about it I would say in return how you are not a fan of being second guessed either. However, if you get sanctimonious I can see why she would roll her eyes. With that said, I agree with you about no tv before a year too. We did it in my house and I have two kids as well. Neither of my kids had any chocolate or candy before 1. DS was almost 2 the first time he had candy (a lolly pop) and the next time was when he was 3. Same for DD. We drink organic milk too.

Message edited 3/2/2013 5:08:28 PM.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

You know - I'm always torn in situations like this because, I too have been in them. In the beginning I would defend myself by laying on the facts. Then I realized that no matter what I said those type of people just didn't get it. Now, I don't bother. Honestly, just take comfort in knowing you are doing what you feel is best for your child. Who cares what she thinks!

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

The questioning wouldn't bother me as much as the eye roll. I'd probably let the comparing and questioning go, but having seen an eye roll from her more than once, I'd be tempted to call her on that. Something like "I can see that, you know."

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

I would def say something nicely the next time your around her and you see her roll her eyes. Otherwise you will explode. There is a nice way to be assertive and get your point across without being rude or aggressive. I have a similar situation with my SIL and I just gently put her in her place in the sense of saying something like I respect the way you choose to raise your children, please respect the way I choose to raise my dd.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

Ugh people are annoying. I HATE that people, especially moms do this and judge other people's parenting styles. It's rude. I think it stems from their own insecurities as a mom.

I hate confrontation, so I would probably not say anything. If you feel comfortable, maybe mention it in a nice way like your husband said. Would your husband be willing to talk to her or your BIL? Good luck. Try to ignore the comments, eye rolls, etc. No one, especially another mom, should judge another mother's parenting style, as long as they are not clearly harming the child!

Message edited 3/2/2013 11:31:54 PM.

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

i would let it go too. yes it is annoying and would piss me off but i wouldn't want to start anything so i would just keep my mouth shut. if she ever said something to my face though then i would say something.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

Thanks ladies. I guess I am just tired of being questioned on my parenting style on regular basis from my DH's family, why no formula? Why no candy? Why no juice? Why does your DD have to do her homework asa she gets home from school? Why don't you do it this way or that way... It just goes on , and on.
I am so tired, I just want to do what I think is the best thing for my kids without being questioned, or without eyes being rolled and faces being made.
I feel like such an outsider when I'm around other moms in the family...
It 's so hard !

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

Just a heads up.... Breastmilk should never be microwaved, ever. It has nothing to do with hot spots or plastic leeching. It is a known fact that microwaves can change the composition of the milk, destroying its benefits. It should also never get shaken in a bottle. Gently swirled only.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

I'd have to say something or in bottle up and explode. And be sure to tell her how she shouldn't micro.

Little upset should I say something or let it go?

Apparently I am really confrontational. LOL I would not be able to let it go by the second eye roll. Probably not even the first. I do not like to be disrespected. I would have called her out on it and said something like PP said... "you do realize you keep rolling your eyes at me right?"

My MIL drives me crazy and is constantly and repeatedly offering her antiquated advice to me. If I dismiss her advice she repeats it over and over till finally I am forced to shoot her down. When my girls started saying the word "no" at around 14 months or so she told me "now that they know the word no, you can start smacking their hand and telling them no when you want them to behave" I told her that I didn't want to teach them to hit. Since that time until two days ago on facebook she has repeated this advice no less than 5 times. Finally I just got fed up with it and said "a lot has changed since you raised your sons 42 years ago" But I restrained myself from saying "a lot has changed since you hit your sons with a red shoe and an extension cord"

You are doing the right things based on the newest information we have available now. We know you shouldn't put plastic in the microwave. We know you shouldn't heat bottles for babies in the microwave. Why would she choose convenience over health and safety? You should be rolling your eyes and shaking your head at her! LOL

Message edited 3/3/2013 10:39:39 AM.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

I would not say anything but I would be annoyed. Some people just wear their emotions.

I'm pretty laid back in most all things parenting. I usually don't care what others think of my parenting choices.

Re: Little upset should I say something or let it go?

If it has the potential to cause a family fight, I would probably just leave it alone and avoid her as much as possible.

There is one person on the other side of my family that I would love to tell to go take a walk off a cliff, but I reserve my true feelings to when it's just DH and I.

This one person I know who acts similarly, and I really think it's because they are trying to bait me.

The best response to that is ignoring them and not giving them the pleasure.