FTWM Guilt

I'm a FTWM with a 9 month old. I'm lucky enough to have daycare in the building I work in, so I get to visit him on breaks and lunches. DS had been out of daycare for a bit because of the holidays and then he was sick. And now when I go to visit him during the day for the last couple of days, he doesn't want me he just wants his teacher

I'm hoping it's a phase but it breaks my heart. I wish there were more hours in a day to spend more time with him. I wish I didn't have to work FT but I 100% have to. I hate that I'm stuck at work with extra long days for the next couple of months while I'm in training. I'm terrified of making the same mistakes as my own mom who was more focused on her career than being a mother. Ugh.

Thanks for "listening" to my vent, I just had to get that out. Sometimes it really sucks being a FTWM

FTWM Guilt

Yes, it does suck. But look at the bright side. Your DS enjoys going to daycare. There are kids who don't. Personally, I feel really good when I drop my DD off at school in the morning and she's excited to see her teachers and friends. Or when i pick her up and she's having a blast and doesn't want to leave. She loves going, and I actually feel guilty when she doesn't go. You won't make the same mistakes as your mom because you've learned from hers. Your DS loves his mommy and always will, no matter how many hours a day she does or doesn't work. You make the most fo the time you do spend together and that's all that matters.

Re: FTWM Guilt

Re: FTWM Guilt

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by JenMarie

Yes, it does suck. But look at the bright side. Your DS enjoys going to daycare. There are kids who don't. Personally, I feel really good when I drop my DD off at school in the morning and she's excited to see her teachers and friends. Or when i pick her up and she's having a blast and doesn't want to leave. She loves going, and I actually feel guilty when she doesn't go. You won't make the same mistakes as your mom because you've learned from hers. Your DS loves his mommy and always will, no matter how many hours a day she does or doesn't work. You make the most fo the time you do spend together and that's all that matters.

I agree with this.
I actually feel guilty keeping DD home from daycare because she loves it sooo much!
SHe is bored at home- we can't provide her the structure and stimulation that the daycare program does.
She get so excited every morning to go to "school"
If she is misbehaving we threaten- NO SCHOOL- and she gets right in line!

I love that I am working to provide for her and her future.
I love that I am teaching my daughter the importance of having a career of your own as a woman, money of your own and independence.
I love that I am showing her that you really can have it all.
It's a great balance for them.

FTWM Guilt

It's just a few days for training. Hang in there! I'm sure there will be a point when you drop DS off and he will be screaming for you not to leave. It will be okay!

FTWM Guilt

Thanks everyone. Most days I'm able to see the bright side but I'm just having one of those days where it all gets to me. Thanks for listening!

Re: FTWM Guilt

Please don't feel guilty. I am a mom of two. I work in a demanding field and have many very late nights in the office. I firmly believe I am a good mother so I don't let myself feel guilty. I dont think a mom who stays at home is a better or worse mom than me. It's about accepting your choice and never being hard on yourself about it or feeling guilty. I am providing for my boys, teaching them a woman can be as successful as any man, and when I am with them, i am always present. I am doing my best and that is always good enough.