Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

You are by far not the only one!!

i think the only reason you think 'everyone' is doing these things, is because those people are the only ones who post about every detail like that

i didn't have favors/grab bags/professional cake/photo shoots/theme/dj/entertainment/pony rides etc for my DS's 1st birthday. I made a cake, we had a lunch at my house and he was the only kid there. It was perfect for us.
So.. there was nothing to post/brag/share about as i'm sure no one would have congratulated me on my home made cake decorating!

seriously..don't get caught up in comparing yourself to others. you'll just feel ****** and its' totally not worth it.
I use this site to get some wonderful advice and ideas for so many things - but the one thing you have to do is remember that this is the internet.. not always a true representation of real life

please tell me I'm not the only one...

LOL. its a crowded boat. Do the best you can and learn what is important and really needs to get done. Worrying or getting anxienty over it really just wastes energy you can use to do the things that count. Just keep moving forward at your own pace.

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

Message edited 10/11/2012 4:26:55 PM.

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

Oh please...sometimes I have moments of panic and guilt..I STILL do not have my 3 year old's photos in an album...I have never once done a professional photo shoot except for at BBB...I don't go ape-shit over special clothes and organic food...

Does it mean I am failing? No I am doing the best I can and my DS is thriving!

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

The only reason DD has her costume already is b/c my Mom bought it last year on clearance, LOL. Good thing I like it!!
It is sad but true that things come out so early that sometimes you have to just snatch them up when you see them. I am not likely to do it, but again my Mom does. She bought DD a Thanksgving dress b/c it had a turkey on it and "you know it would be gone by next week".
Haven't even thought about X-mas dress or shopping.
I am not a keep up with the Jones type, I do what I enjoy doing and can afford. Big baptism and 1st b-days parties are what my family has always done. After that it is small, just immediate family for b-days. And I am a picture person so we did hire for the big events.
Like everything else with parenting, you do what makes you happy and try not to succomb to the pressure. Maybe if more people did that we wouldn't have to think about X-mas dresses in Aug!

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

Sometimes I run around too early for stuff but then I realize that it's the same as running around late, depending on your attitude. Like, if I casually saw and purchased xmas outfits in September, great- if I'm stressed on a mission to find them that early, well then what's the point? Bc when everyone else is stressing late xmas stuff I'm stressing again for Easter or something lol.

In general though I agree with the whole lif is not real life sentiment. I read about someone's "six month photo shoot" the other day and Once I took ds to picture people or whatever. Good enough for me.

Or one that gets me really laughing is the in depth labeling of items on the candy buffet. Like oh my God THOSE are SWEDISH FISH? No effing way would I have known!

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

AMEN!!!

I live in Maryland now and its funny...people just don't go crazy about the same stuff here. I know its not ALL because its long island, but seriously, sometimes reading the posts gives me agita, lol..between candy buffets and special favors at parties to professional pics of everything etc..its enough to make your head spin.

It's FINE that others do those things. If it works for them then awesome! But I know i don't have to do it all...I do little things to make events special and my kids are thankful and happy.

I've learned to stop worrying about not doing enough or keeping up...people make themselves NUTS!!

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

PS-
some of the nicest, most memorable times in our lives have been the intimate, simple kids parties spent with a few close friends and loved ones. A simple cake, some apps, balloons and decorations and thats that. I've seen women run around like crazy for weeks beforehand. In my opinion you end up missing out on other stuff while you're making yourself crazy about the perfect dessert bar. Your 3 year old won't care if there are 50 different desserts all labeled perfectly and color coordinated. He's just happy to have a slice of cake and sing happy birthday. JMHO!! There's nothing wrong with doing it up, and if you have the time, the money etc...then great! But SO not necessary!!

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

I don't get their Halloween costumes until a week before Halloween, and I go to Macys a week before Christmas for their outfits. I'm not neurotic about that stuff at all, lol.

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

I'm a FTWM but have a lot of help from my family. My parents were gracious enough to pay for the party for DS' christening at a restaurant since neither of our houses were big enough! I have DS' costume but that's only because my sister bought it for him. I take him to target for pictures when I get the chance which I just started when he was 6 months old (before that it didn't cross my mind). I just set up his christmas pictures at target for November 1st because I am off from work that day, but now need to go out and get his outfit. My house is a disaster b/c I barely have time to do laundry or clean. I do afterschool 2 nights a week until 6pm and decided I didn't have enough on my plate with a new baby and new house that I decided to coach girls volleyball-where we have like 3-4 games a week! My dryer broke last night, my roof is leaking and we are going away this weekend to my in-laws house. I plan on giving the baby to my MIL and drinking heavily! I depend on my parents and sister for a lot and they are the ones that keep me sane and help me get everything else done. So don't feel like crap without my family I'd be a total mess!

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

please tell me I'm not the only one...

I do what's important to me and what I can afford. I do like the professional photo shoots..that's important to me. My family has always been big on birthday parties so we do them every year. However big does not always mean expensive. 2 years I did DD's party at my Moms house, once at my house and once at the Playroom of our coop. This year we are doing it at a very affordable cute place. After calling around and pricing I couldn't wrap my mind around spending almost $1K for a birthday party.

Christening we did big but that's because we wanted to. Holiday outfits I buy when I see what I like. Don't compare yourself to anyone and definitely don't try to keep up with people. I do think 90% of the things that go on here are not the norm. I live in NYC and hardly anyone I know goes all out extravagant like they do on here.

Re: please tell me I'm not the only one...

I'm lucky I can afford to get him anything for halloween at all much less plan it way in advance. This kid has EVERYTHING from his grandparents...half the things he has he can't even play with yet...Like the bike they bought him for his 1st birthday...A BIKE? THE KID WASN'T EVEN WALKING YET THEN! I can't possibly think of what's left that I could excite him with. I think we will get him a play set...like one with a swing and slide...but I'm getting it second hand bc there is no way I'm spending $150-$200 or more for him to play with it for a season or two and then grow our of it...it's just a silly waste of money.

I did do newborn pics and I'm glad I did...but I didn't pay for them...my dad asked me what I wanted as a gift for my baby shower and we had everything we needed so i asked for the newborn shoot...I had his first birthday at a playground. I come from a family that does every celebration in their home so to pay for a hall to me sounds like a waste.