Please no flames--need support (LONG)

I am a regular poster on TTC, but because of my situation, I'm hesitant to post under my regular name. If you read this, please just offer me support - I don't want to be flamed or insulted about my story.

A few years ago, I made the decision to become an egg donor. I knew that there were women out there struggling to have children, and I wanted to help. I donated 5 times over the past 3 years, and while I don't know the outcome of my donations, I am proud of myself for doing something that may have helped fulfill a woman's wishes.

My last donation was in September. DH and I decided that we wanted to TTC, so I took myself off of the list. Once the donation was complete, I didn't go back on BCP, and we actively began TTC in November. I had a very long cycle one month, and was concerned since I had always been regular and at that point, had been off BCP for 2 months. I went to my gyno, and he attributed it to my egg donation medicaton. I immediately called up Long Island IVF, and they reassured me that the egg donation medications had nothing to do with my cycles, but they wanted to see me to check on things, anyway. They had always said I had good eggs and should have no trouble getting pregnant.

Fast forward to now. Long Island IVF has been sort of monitoring me every so often to see how things are going. One of the doctors there said that he wanted us to try for 6 months and then he was going to start with the testing. I have an appt to go for a progesterone check tomorrow, since I was supposed to ovulate a few days ago (which I didn't, according to the OPKS) and he wanted to confirm ovulation. The lady from the office called me today to ask for my insurance information (previously, I wasn't charged for anything) because I am now "a regular patient."

Hearing those words just broke me. I never assumed I'd get pregnant right away, but because I donated so many times, and was told that I "shouldn't have any trouble", I was just sort of shocked to find myself as an IVF patient. And now that I didn't ovulate at the time I had the past 2 cycles, I'm making myself even more upset, thinking that there is something wrong.

Thank you all for reading my long rant, and thank you in advance for the support.

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

i think its pretty common to sometimes have cycles where you didnt ovulate. I had about 2 or 3 extremely long cycles (65 days) where i didnt ovulate but after those few times it never happened again. I think its good that you are in constant communication with LI IVF, that way whatever is causing your cycle to be crazy can be monitored and the problem identified quickly.

IVF might not be your next option, remember there are so many other things that can be done before going the IVF route.

I know just the thought that maybe you wont be able to get pregnant easily is scary but try not to get too stressed until you find out what is going on with your cycles.

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

Like PP said, that many things can attirbute to conceiving. Aside from irregular cycles, it could be eggs not fully going down the fallopian tube, there could be blockage, sperm issues, fertilization, etc. I don't mean to scare you, but wanted to let you know before you start worrying to much. It also could be it will take time to get into a reproductive rythm, after being on meds for so long, with your donations.

Hope this helps, and again I don't want to scare you, but I strongly believe that the more information available, the better you are at trying to develop a plan. Good luck!

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

first off i think donating eggs is very selfless. i would love to do it myself but i have PCOS and crazy fertility issues so i doubt anyone would take or want my eggs!! (although they made at least one beautiful baby so far ).

as far as being an IVF patient, you aren't. unless you are doing IVF ad putting your eggs back in, i think you're just a woman who is lucky enough to get extra support from an RE because you were previously involved with them from the donations.

as the PP have said, I wouldn't freak out over one cycle. ovulation day is never a guaranteed day of your cycle. sometimes it's thrown off, and (despite what LI IVF is telling you) the fact that you were on fertility meds several times in the last few years can ABSOLUTELY effect your future cycles. it most likely isn't permanent, but every time you mess around with fertility meds for whatever reasons, you are liable to screw up your natural cycle, that's just how it is. i think you need to track your cycles for a while longer before freaking out and thinking there is a major issue. and yes, anovulation does happen naturally once a year or so.

out of pure curiosity, since you said you had a long cycle after BCP, did you produce A LOT of eggs from a very low amount of meds for egg donation? i only ask cause your cycles sound (and don't get all worked up over my comment) slightly PCOS-ish. although no doctors will ever come out and say it (and i am absolutely not a doctor), i personally believe that any meds that effect ovulation (BCP, fertility meds, etc) can ultimately result in PCOS-like symptoms. that's not to say that you might have it or should get tested for it or anything like that, just that your cycles post BCP seem erratic which can be an indicator of PCOS. for me, I have PCOS and when i stimmed the first time, i used a pretty introductory dose of FSH, and i hyperstimulated and produced MANY MANY more eggs than we wanted. so im just curious if you also produced A LOT of eggs from a relatively small amount of meds..

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

I want to say that I domnt think you'll get any flames for this post. What a wonderful thing you did in the past. I want to offer you support and because isn't it just so crazy that you would be led down this path after helping so many other couples achieve the same dream your chasing right now? It just always makes me sad.

As the PPs said, it's totally normal to have an irregular cycle -especially after coming off BCP. I asked my RE the specific question about using fertility meds, if it changes future cycles, and they said no. I also only did it for one cycle and used a very low dosage but Idk if it matters.

Anyway, I cant offer you and medical advice but I can say that you came to the right place for support!!
Wishing you luck!!

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

why would you get flamed for doing such a great thing?

btw before you jump the gun.....why not get a second opinion before assuming the worst?

remember you have used meds for a long time and stimmed alot so of course your cycles might be goofy. any doc who tells you otherwise is nuts lol

obviously you make great eggs or they would use you as a donor...so thats not an issue.
and opks arent always reliable anyways.

i say get more testing done and ask if you can be monitered for ovulation each month for the next couple months before assuming you need ivf for yourself!! xoxox hugs ps and all a regular patient means is you are trying to achieve prenancy not being a donor.
some people just need timed monitered bding kwim?

Message edited 3/27/2012 5:32:11 PM.

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

As a recipient of two donor egg cycles myself (unfortunately no success yet) I think that was an amazing thing you did (I went to Cornell not LI-IVF). How long has it been since you stopped BCP's? Though I think I have been on more meds than most people on here and honestly, only when I was on a really high dose of meds did it mess up my cycle and that was only the next cycle after the failed cycle. But, that could be me. Everyone is different. About the only thing that seems to work on me is my text book cycle.

1st off LI-IVF better not charge you for anything after all you've done. So hopefully they are not. You know all those cycles were with help through ER. Have you ever monitored your natural cycle prior to all this? Its possible you never realized that it sometimes happens like that for you. And honestly, if it comes down to having a have a little help...well, its not as horrible as it sounds. And you went through the hardest part (up through ER, ET is easy...well as long as there are embryos to transfer back in and hopefully to freeze).

However, I understand what you are saying. You've hopefully helped 5 people live their dream so why should it be an issue now? It does sound so unfair. What I am learning is that there is no rhyme or reason to why this stuff happens the way it does.

Hopefully next cycle will be good and maybe be the one for you. Hang in there, most people it takes more than 6 months to get pregnant naturally.

I'm sure you've researched but there is a ton of info out there on supplements etc... to help with your natural cycle.

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

First of all, I think what you did was AMAZING. DH and I are dealing with severe MFI. After a failed IVF, we've decided to go the donor sperm route. If it weren't for the men and women who donate, many of us would not be able to have families of our own. I want to experience carrying a child - and that would not have been possible if it weren't for a very selfless donor. I know my position is slightly different, but I know those 5 recipients of your eggs would THANK YOU a million times if they could.

As for you...you're only about 6 months off the bcp. And while some people go right back to normal right away, many don't. I went off bcps in Oct 2010 and it took until June 2011 until I was Oing normally again. It just took that long for the hormones to leave my body and everything to go back to "normal."

I think you just need to have patience and let the drs run whatever tests they have to. If you were Oing normally and producing great eggs before then I'm confident you will again.

On a side note, has your husband been tested?

Good luck and keep us updated.

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

like pp have said i think what u have done is amazing and as someone struggling with IF what u give to people is just a miracle!

is it def you have to do ivf? even if it is a ovulation issue which it may not be u can do ti or a iui

and if it is ivf u have been there,u know what to expect and have gotten great results

has ur dh been tested? i am sure if all was good for the donations it still is,just let the docs do what they have to

good luck!

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

Thank you, ladies
Just to answer some of your questions:

- I did produce a lot of eggs during my donation cycles (don't remember the exact numbers, but was always told it was a lot). I don't know, however, if the medication regimen I was on would be considered high or low.

- My cycles, post BCP and egg retrieval (September), were 33, 41, 28, 31, and 31.

- I felt like I might get flamed for being an egg donor because with the few people who I've told about the donation, I've gotten very mixed responses. I know some people think it's weird and wrong, whereas others can be completely supportive of it and respectful. I also was hesitant to post on here with all of you ladies who are having a difficult time, and I didn't want to offend anyone by sharing that I've donated.

- As far as monitoring my cycle prior to donating, I have been on BCP for a number of years, so as far as I can remember, my cycles were always regular before I went on the pill. Every time I was doing a donation and had to go off the pill, I got my period exactly when they said I would. Same thing when the retrieval was done, I got my period when I was supposed to.

- The Dr. at LI IVF will test my husband after our 6th month, which is next month

- I haven't yet discussed plans or options with the doctor. I shouldn't have said I'm an "IVF Patient", but rather just a patient at LI IVF. I went for the progesterone level blood work this morning, and will find out the results later today.

Thank you all for your kind words and support!! I'm happy that I can come here to vent!

Re: Please no flames--need support (LONG)

Posted by ThereIsAlwaysNextTime

Thank you, ladies
Just to answer some of your questions:

- I did produce a lot of eggs during my donation cycles (don't remember the exact numbers, but was always told it was a lot). I don't know, however, if the medication regimen I was on would be considered high or low.

- My cycles, post BCP and egg retrieval (September), were 33, 41, 28, 31, and 31.

- I felt like I might get flamed for being an egg donor because with the few people who I've told about the donation, I've gotten very mixed responses. I know some people think it's weird and wrong, whereas others can be completely supportive of it and respectful. I also was hesitant to post on here with all of you ladies who are having a difficult time, and I didn't want to offend anyone by sharing that I've donated.

- As far as monitoring my cycle prior to donating, I have been on BCP for a number of years, so as far as I can remember, my cycles were always regular before I went on the pill. Every time I was doing a donation and had to go off the pill, I got my period exactly when they said I would. Same thing when the retrieval was done, I got my period when I was supposed to.

- The Dr. at LI IVF will test my husband after our 6th month, which is next month

- I haven't yet discussed plans or options with the doctor. I shouldn't have said I'm an "IVF Patient", but rather just a patient at LI IVF. I went for the progesterone level blood work this morning, and will find out the results later today.

Thank you all for your kind words and support!! I'm happy that I can come here to vent!