stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

i am so overloaded with stress and emotion right now, and i don't know where else to unload it. so for anyone who reads this, i thank you in advance. i just need to vent.

i am so worried about this baby and all the stress and grief he's been encountered, since i've been through so much since he was conceived.

on april 25th my nephew passed away. he was 3, and had been battling brain cancer for a year and a half. he was the light of our family, and DH and i were his godparents. i can't even put into words how much i loved him...and the pain i felt for him to be taken away from us, and to have to watch my brother and sister in law go through that...to still watch them go through it every day since. the day after his funeral, i found out i was pregnant. i had been drinking heavily ALL the week before w/o knowing i was pregnant.

not sure if anyone heard about the hail that hit new hyde park...but there was an insane hail storm there a few weeks ago, and it just so happens i was in that area, sitting in my car when it hit. the hail was literally the size of baseballs, and i was huddled in my back seat screaming and crying on the phone w DH b/c i thought my windows were going to smash in on me and it seemed to go on forever. luckily only body damage to my car, there were an estimated 1,000 cars damaged in that storm and most of them DID lose windows. i was lucky, but still VERY stressed out while it was happening.

then sunday morning during the hurricane our neighbor's oak tree was uprooted by the storm, and landed in our front yard. some of the tree landed on our house crushing our brand new portico, and a huge limb crashed into our dining room. i was upstairs in bed alone when it happened and i LOST IT. i thought DH was dead downstairs...when i saw he was ok, we thought more trees would fall and kill us. it was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. luckily the damage was mostly to the outside of our house, and we got out ok and went to my SIL's house. i was just happy we were ok until we returned home to see all the damage done. i know i'm lucky that we weren't hurt, but i was overwhelmed with grief that all the work we'd done to our beautiful house was gone, and some of the inside was ruined as well. that night i cried to my SIL...and immediately felt terrible about it. i was crying about a broken house to a woman who lost her son just FOUR months ago. i was disgusted w myself and have been feeling so horribly miserable ever since.

i am SO stressed and emotional. i know it's normal to be emotional right now but i feel like this is beyond anything normal, and it's like i'm going to lose my mind. i still think of and cry about my nephew all the time; it feels like it's still getting worse every day. i think about how he will never get to meet and play with his cousin. it makes me SO sad.

so w all of this going on, i am just SO unbelievably worried about my baby. is this all going to damage him? they say pregnant women shouldn't be getting overly stressed, right? that must be for good reason...is this kid going to start off being completely messed up?

sorry for going on, i just feel like i can't say this stuff to anyone around me...i have tried to be sunny and stay upbeat for everyone else's sake for so long, i can't break down now. especially after i chose to break down in front of the one person i really shouldn't have. i just needed to get this out to someone other than close friends and family. so if you're reading this, thanks for letting me do that. and please, let me know what you think about all this stress and its affect on the baby. TIA...

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

You have been through so much lately and I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry for the loss of your nephew..that is horrible :(

Maybe you could try counseling? You are grieving and that is normal. They say some stress is normal and will be fine for the baby. You are going through a very difficult time right now. It will be good to get your feelings out and learn how to cop with the grief, so that's why I suggest a therapist.

If you dont want to do that, talk to your DH, friends, family...dont hold everything bottled in.

You could talk to your OB about everything too. I'm sure your baby is fine...just try to take care of yourself and deal with the pain and grief instead of holding it in.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

First of all for you. I have a 2 1/2 year old nephew and just reading about your nephew breaks my heart. To go through that must have been unreal for you and your family. I'm sure your SIL doesn't blame you for breaking down to her. She knows what it's like to go through pregnancy and I'm sure she doesn't think like you have no right to be upset about what you've gone through because she went through a traumatic experience of her own. No one knows what you went through in the hail storm (that sounds so scary!) and in the hurricane (also ridiculously scary!).

Don't think that your baby is doomed because you've gone through so much during your pregnancy. I think your baby is probably going to be an awesome, tough kid who can deal with life's obstacles, just like you.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

Wow i am so sorry, you have been through so much and it is completely understandable for you to be stressed out and sad
As PP mentioned, maybe it would be helpful for you to go to counseling

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

I am so truly sorry. All that you are going through no one should endure I agree with the PP and maybe you should seek some counseling

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

I am so sorry for your loss many hugs and prayers for you and your family...I am sure the baby will be perfectly fine

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

thank you, girls. maybe i will go see a counselor just to get this out in a proper setting. i hope you are all right about him being ok, but even so, i should still be working to be less stressed and upset for his sake going forward...especially since our house will be under construction again once we start to fix all the damage.

feeling slightly better this morning, after we were able to sleep in our house again last night. i'm just exhausted at the thought of all there will be to do, but if i go talk to someone i'm sure it'll help me stay grounded a little bit better.

good suggestion, thanks again.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

I'm sorry you have been through so much. You definitely have had more than your fair share of what any pregnant woman should deal with. I agree that it might help to talk to a professional or at the very least do something really nice for yourself - a spa day or little trip away? - but I don't think it will adversely affect your baby in any way.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

I am so sorry for the loss of your nephew. I have a 3 year old nephew so I can only imagine the pain that you and your family is going through right now. I agree with the PP's you should really go in and speak to someone. The last couple of months have been very difficult and stressful for you and it is better to get it all out instead of keeping your feelings bottled up. I am sure that your baby is fine, but definitely run your stress level by your OB and see what they say.
I truly hope things calm down for you and you start to feel a little more relaxed. Tons of 'ers for you and your family.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

Can you get to a prenatal yoga class? The energy of the room alone will be soothing to you. I PRAY that your soul finds peace and comfort soon. I can only imagine the heartache your family is going through which is only exacerbated by recent events.

for you and I also agree with the other girls, please seek counseling or a grieving support group. I have a 2 year old nephew and he is the light of our family....I am SO sorry for your loss and pray with all my heart that you all find comfort through this difficult time.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

You've been through a lot and you shouldn't feel guilty for getting upset in front of others. I'm sure your family would recognize that you have every right to be stressed and upset.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

just reading your post made me sad.. I can't imagine what you are going through. Don't keep it all bottled up inside, I think talking to someone will help. I also think a yoga class, or an acitivity where you can meet other people will help you as well. Take care of yourself..

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

wow... my heart is hurting for you sweetie... and i'm so sorry about your nephew, i can't even imagine.
everyone goes through stress to some extent while pregnant. believe me, i have. i am confident your baby is just fine but get your feelings out there anyway - you need to help yourself heal too!

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

I'm so sorry about your nephew. I can't imagine the pain you're going through. Please take care of yourself.

Re: stress on top of stress; worried about baby.

I am so sorry for all you are going through.