Sooo embarressed to admit this

and please don't judge me, but pregnancy is nothing like I thought it would be. I knew hormones would be around, and maybe a little sickness, but other then that I was clueless.

Last night, I was up wondering....is motherhood going to shock my system like pregnancy has? For the first months, instead of being happy baby is here, I can totally see myself having PPD. My hormones are crazy. My body feels like it is falling apart. The only fun thing I do is go to the movies. Because I can be lazy and I don't have to talk to anyone....although, I now have to go with vicks under my nose due to the smell of popcorn.

I thought pregnancy was going to be with me running around showing off my bump, posing for pics...so the opposite.

I pictured motherhood so in love with this baby, strolling around the neighborhood, singing and rocking...now I have this intense fear that I am going to be so gross, so fat, and crying all the time..

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

I think what you are feeling is totally normal.

I had these same thoughts when I was at the height of my morning sickness... I just felt so awful, I couldn't imagine I would Ever feel better. I remember thinkging, oh god what did I do???? I was puking my brains out, I was bloated, the heartburn was un bearable- I felt like a blob! I would cry and cry and cry.

After 20 weeks of m/s it went away and I feel pretty good. Once you start to look preggo, you will feel a whole better. I am 29 weeks and am getting really excited about the baby.


I think b/c you have such m/s you feel this way, plus your emotions are all over the place.

Try and take it one day at a time. When you m/s subsides, you start to feel a little better.

I hope this helps.


PS. If your m/s is that bad, you should really talk to your Dr. there are meds you can take to help with the nausea. All the best honey!!


ETA: I don't think anyone on this board would judge you so you should NEVER worry about that.

Message edited 5/22/2006 3:59:42 PM.

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

I think all the hormones and feeling icky definately make pregnancy for many not so great. As much as I am dying to be a mom, I am dreading pregnancy from my short time being pregnant the last time- I remember how crappy I felt all the time. I don't think you are a horrible person at all but I do think you will look back at this time when you do have the baby and realize it was all worth it!

I definately understand your fears since I have the same ones-

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

I feel the same way. I thought pregnancy would be glamorous but its actually very tough. Throwing up all of the time, constant aches and pains, and mood swings make it a very difficult process. I am scared to death of delivering the baby...the pain, being in the hospital, and everything else that goes along with it! I understand how you feel because I feel the same way!!

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thanks I know it is this sickness that is killing me...I feel out of commission.

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Ask your Dr. for Zofran. A bunch of us have taken it for m/s it really helps.

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I am going to thanks!!

When I saw on the other post that some people had it 25 weeks, there is no way...

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

Don't beat yourself up. You aren't feeling well and it's expected that you aren't exactly enjoying that feeling. I do promise, that it does get better.

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

I think it's normal to feel how you are feeling.

I am concerned though for you, if you are feeling depressed now, please seek help, you are right it will only be worse PPD after the baby is born

Just know, too, I felt like you do, I never wanted to admit it but I didn't like being pregnant. My family was very surprised by me saying that, but I was happy as hell to be PG and have a baby, but I wanted to skip the whole pregnant part of it. I really wanted the stork to come bring my baby to me.

I think I had a nostaglic view of it, showing off my preggo belly, and the only thing i loved about being pg was feeling her move.
It was not 9 months of floating for me. I couldn't wait to have my body back, I felt like I was outside looking in and I had no control over what it did and obviously you don't.

FM me if you need to talk

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I cried every single day up until 16 weeks~
I thought I was going to die...I couldnt function,I was in and out of the hospital from svere dehydration. I had a permanent IV line put into my arm for daily doses of treatment to keep from getting dehydrated again. I had to go through this for 2 months and walk around with the IV. It was horrible and my DH fealt horrible and I fealt horrible for feeling liek I was such a bad wife, not being to cook and looking like hell. I used to say that I had pre-par depression and I fealt like if this is the way our life is now what will it be like afterwards...BUT..........once the morning sickness wentr away and I started to gt back into my old routine and started looking my old self...I fealt better about being prego! NOW , I LOVE being prego and I love my buddha belly and I cant wait to meet our little man!

It will get better...you really should ask your dr abouyt Zofren..the pills didnt work for me,,but the IV did. I am not trying to scare you wiht the IV, but maybe you need to get hydrated....since you are probably very dehydrated. At your next visit, talk to the dr and explain to him houw your feeling...

I KNOW what your going through and I can only offer you this and promise you that it will get better!

Message edited 5/22/2006 4:52:52 PM.

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

I feel for you so much and please know that SO many of us feel the way you do. I had morning sickness up until @my 15th week and while it doesn't sound as severe as yours does, I too was a miserable unhappy sorry mess during those weeks. I felt like a shell of my former self -

As Deb has posted about today, it's really really hard to be excited about the baby and acting like the 'perfect' preggo when every waking moment you feel so ill and so "not yourself." Add that with the sleep deprivation and it's inevitable that you feel just helpless. It's so horrible to feel this way and it's really something that noone prepares you for no matter how much you read about it

I have wanted to be pregnant for so long now so I would upset myself that I felt so unhappy sometimes during those weeks I felt so sick. If you've seen my latest post about feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster, my crying spells can still be extreme, and I'm feeling physically a lot better.. it's just so odd what is happening to my body. I too worry about after the birth and pray I dont have this same type of extreme emotional reaction post partum, because I think to myself I can barely control my emotions now, when I have a newborn at home and even more sleep deprivation how will I deal?? But I know there is help and medication and if it gets REALLY bad I will seek that out!

I think I can speak for all of us that while we're all THRILLED and feel so blessed to be pregnant, sometimes pregnancy is a really difficult process. And it's hard to put on a sunny face and be perky and happy when you just feel like crap ... add that to the fact that there is this "guilt" associated with feeling this way, as if how DARE we feel this way when we're so blessed to be PG. Mentally it does a number on you.

I KNOW you don't believe this but it's going to get better! When people told me that I really thought there was no way in hell I'd ever want to eat, or would have any energy again, but yet at some point (for me gradually) the cloud did lift and I did feel more like "me" again ...

Hang in there and I truly hope you are feeling better soon

Re: Sooo embarressed to admit this

what you are feeling must be normal, because I feel the same way. I am having a tough time adjusting to being pg. My body is killing me.

I said the same thing about PPD. Although i can't do anything to avoid it, I have researched the symptoms so that if I notice them on me, I will be able to seek help ASAP.



You'll be OK Janice!

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normal! I hated being pregnant i felt terrible.Honestly my labor was easier than my pregnancy...I look more forward to actually giving birth than being pregnant for nine months again.

some people just have an easier pregnancy...and just because you are depressed now does not mean you will have PPD.

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I felt the SAME exact way. You are normal. I don't know how anyone can be prepared for the changes they go through during pregnancy, and I don't know how anyone can get through their pregnancy, especially their first, without feeling like this at least a little! And I know I felt it a lot! So hang in there. You are so normal for feeling this way. In the beginning, you are going through a lot of rapid changes at one time. During the middle of the second trimester, I started to level out a bit and felt A LOT better. Hang in there, sister!

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I'm sorry Janice, just know that is normal to feel like you do. it's such a tremendous and overwhelming change that your body is going through, so it's understandable.

Hang in there, again know that if you need to talk or vent, I'm here for you.

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thanks everyone for making me feel normal. What everyone wrote is exactly what I am feeling. My friend bought me "in the womb" we watched it last night and that made me so happy. I felt excited about the baby and the changes. What a rollercoaster ride! up and down.

I worry about the future a lot...I spend so much time while sick thinking how am I going to do this again, plus take care of my present baby?? I just have to take it day by day. Thanks again.