alcoholics

Another post from me! I was wondering if anyone can tell me the signs of an alcoholic. It seems as though this man I married is starting to show me some signs. I found three big empty bottles of liquor and when I confronted him, he turned it on and made it like I was the bad one. He also sleeps so MUCH, lost his job, etc.

ETA: He does not go out to bars, does not order drinks when we are out to eat, but to me why does he have to do it at home and hide it and drink when I go to bed. He said there is nothing wrong with having a drink every now and then, but come on three big bottles gone.

Thanks

Message edited 4/18/2006 10:52:33 AM.

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No advice for you...just

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Sounds like you just gave the signs in your post.

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the only thing i've heard is that one of the first signs of alcoholism, is denial.

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Posted by lorich

Sounds like you just gave the signs in your post.

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These are some that I found online

Alcoholism symptoms include: recurrent alcohol use resulting in the failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, home or family; recurrent use in situations that could be deemed hazardous, dangerous or criminal, such as driving while intoxicated (DWI) operating heavy machinery; recurrent alcohol related legal problems such as drunk in public, disorderly conduct, DWI; continued use despite persisting social and interpersonal problems related to alcohol, such as arguing with spouse/partner while intoxicated and physical fights.

unable to control the amount of alcohol consumed
make excuses to drink- happy occasions…sad occasions…hey it's Tuesday
get mad when others criticize your drinking
stash alcohol in secret places around the house or office
need a "hair of the dog that bit you" in the morning to avoid a hangover
still drink and drive, perhaps even after a DUI arrest
missed work
deterioration of physical appearance
depression
irritability
tolerance to alcohol, need larger quantities to get drunk or just can't get drunk anymore
reduced social and family activities
physical fights with spouse or friends
medical condition such as abdominal pain, ulcers or frequent nausea

Message edited 4/18/2006 10:53:31 AM.

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Here is one of those online quizzes you can take

quiz

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If you think there's a problem, then there's probably a problem.

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Unfortunately I've been around several alcholics and it sounds like you've got one on your hands. ONce it starts affecting his job or his family life, it's usually alcholism. I agree with contacting AA or Al-Anon, which can help you learn how to see the signs and deal with them appropriately

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It sounds like he is trying to hide it from you. My dad is an alcohlic. He would hide cans and bottles under the couch, the bed, anywhere he thought my mom wouldn't look. He was mean about it when she did find them, and blamed it all on her. Your situation sounds so similar to my mothers. After she started finding more and more bottles, and he lost his job, AND started beating her (behind closed doors AND in front of us kids), she told him to hit the road. They have been divorced for 12 yrs now, and it was the best decision she ever made. You cannot make them stop...they will continue to hide it until they hit rock bottom, if ever.

If you have any questions, please FM me. Good luck!!!!

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From what you describe it seems you are living with one

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Message edited 4/18/2006 11:08:01 AM.

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I believe your DH is giving you signs of alcoholism. Unfortunately, I have seen this in my family

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His behavior seems to fit some of the classic conditions.

I am sorry but there is hope. I know a few people who really struggled, got help (took more than the first try) and are clean and sober for years now.

DH's ex was a recovering alcoholic (one year) when he met her. Her alcoholism was a symptom of her abusive childhood. She was in recovery but never really solved her other issues. Even though she never drank when they were married she was still abusive, an overspender, and never liked to work. She never resolved her issues from childhood and their marriage dissolved.

Please keep in mind it is often a symptom of another deep issue. Even if he stops drinking he will need some mental health counseling to get at the bottom of his pain.

Message edited 4/18/2006 11:57:08 AM.

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married and divorced one.. fm me if you need anything!!!!

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Two of the most classic symptoms of alcoholics are hiding the fact they drink from others and drinking alone.

I think you need to confront him on this. It might take a long time of denials, but that is also a classic response of an alcoholic.

FM me if you ever need advice.

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My father is a recovering alchololic, sober for 14 years now, but he almost died from the disease.

Its sounds like you DH is showing the symptoms of it. Did he lose his job because of drinking or did he begin drinking heavily afterwards? Because if its the latter, it might be that he is depressed and is drinking as an escape.

MHO, I dont think that your DH IS an alcoholic, however it does sound like he is on that path.

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Posted by lorich

Sounds like you just gave the signs in your post.