How do you do it?

Hi everyone,
So, Craig and I just celebrated our two year wedding anniversary and naturally, I've had baby on the brain...a lot. The only thing I just can't seem to stop overthinking is how we would take care of a baby right now. We both work - my job is 9-5 but I'm a lot closer to home now, and Craig's schedule fluctuates some days from 11 to 8 pm or 2 to 11 pm, depending on the day. We also have a mortgage, there's no way we could survive on just one income either. My family is in NJ, and while I'm sure we would have some help once the baby is born, no one is in a situation where they could watch a baby for us during the day while we're at work. Craig's mom is off two days during the week, but I feel guilty dumping a baby on her on those two days off... Then I hear from other moms about how it's bad to leave an infant at a day care at such a young age... Well what other choice is there if you don't have anyone else? And even with that - child care is so expensive, I don't know how we could afford it on top of all the other monthly expenses! I guess I just want to know how other couples in similar situations do it, raise a baby while both are working. Is it different once the baby comes along? Because right now all I keep thinking is how the heck are we ever going to be able to do this? I'll be 28 this year and Craig will be 30 - I don't want to wait too much longer to start trying, but I'm scared to jump into it not knowing if we'll be able to manage. Ideas, advice, suggestions? I know I'm babbling, but I'm always thinking about this and just needed to vent! Thanks so much

Re: How do you do it?

We knew that we both wanted me to become a SAHM when we got married. We used to put a little aside out of every paycheck to help start saving so that when my salary went away it wasn't a huge problem. When we really got serious about having a baby we cut back on a lot of unnecessary things. We ate home more, didn't go out as much, so when the baby came that wasn't a huge lifestyle change.

I don't think it's bad to leave a baby at daycare when they are young. Sarah is 13 months and is extremely clingy to me. I don't have anyone to help and DH works long hours during the week, so she's used to being with me all the time. While I love that she is so cuddly with me, it does worry me that she's shy. We've tried Mommy and Me classes but she would climb all over me to get away from the other kids. I plan to try again in a few months, when she's supposedly past the stranger fear phase. But I'm sure that if she'd been in daycare she wouldn't be so anxious around new people.

Somehow it always works out, no matter what your situation is. Good luck!

Re: How do you do it?

Both my children were and are in daycare and I have never had a problem. They ALWAYS knew who their mother was and I NEVER felt like I missed anything in their lives.
We had to save before and during each pregnancy for me to stay home the 3 months. I really wish I could wort pt but my job does not offer it and now since they pay part of the daycare, I can not afford to leave until my son is out of daycare. By then, I will like having the extra money to put away for them for college and getting some things on the house done.

Re: How do you do it?

I have not started this yet--I just had my baby and I will going back to work in June--it will make me very sad, but we have too many expenses and I need to make sure that we save for him--college etc and that we are not living paycheck to paycheck--It will be hard, but my girlfriend says that believe you me that they KNOW who their mother is!! They can smell you a mile a way.