Almost lost my mind...

Ok..so I know this pregnancy thing comes with hormonal imbalances but trust me when I say that I am a pretty balanced person.

I usually do not overreact and have a "guys" way of thinking..but this threw me for a loop:

DH is from another country and his parents and sisters still live overseas. We were supposed to see them this summer but things in his country are not safe so we ended up not going. He proceeds to ask me if I would mind if HE went to visit his parents overseas for a month and I stay home.

Ladies..I almost lost my mind. I am 3 months pregnant and would be by myself for a month. Not to mention, it is still very dangerous in his country..so I worry about that as well. How dare he ask me this knowing I would be here alone for a month..I asked him how he could be OK knowing this. I'm sorry he misses his mommy and daddy..but give me a break. They'll be here in February for 2 months helping with the baby.

I told him to buy a one way ticket..b/c if he goes..don't think about coming back. (I know that was harsh but I was fuming). He totally apologized after he said it but I'm really hurt.

your thoughts? sorry so long :(

Message edited 7/24/2008 10:16:14 AM.

Re: Almost lost my mind...

a week would be one thing but I totally agree with you about the whole month!!!

I get that he misses his family but you guys are starting your own family now and that should be his main priority

Can they come and visit you guys for a short time???

Re: Almost lost my mind...

You may have said it a bit harsh, but i agree with you. Now is the time that you need him and he should recognise that!

Re: Almost lost my mind...

They will have a permanent residency visa in a few weeks. They can come after that whenever they want. Only thing is that DH is a teacher and wanted to see them before school started.

I say..TOO BAD. THAT'S LIFE. I want to do a lot of things but obviously can't. So selfish in my opinion.

thanks for your comments ladies..I feel better.

Re: Almost lost my mind...

oh man...i think i have you beat on this one...

DH is in love with his new hobby, DJing. He went back to his home country this year to perform at a huge concert and he was so excited, he swore that he would come back every year.

He asked me a couple months ago if it was okay for him to go next year. The baby will be about a month old. I flipped my sh*t. I couldn't believe the AUDACITY of him wanting to leave me AND the baby ALONE in a new CITY (remember, we're moving to chicago!) just so he could go perform at that thing.

men are idiots i swear. sorry your DH and mine have a few screws loose upstairs.

Re: Almost lost my mind...

ummmm... ok ready turtle



your right, and i love you

Re: Almost lost my mind...

I totally agree with you. My DH is doing overtime and won't be home for 3 days and I am losing my mind!! February is not that far away. Not to mention, his safety is of utmost importance!!

Re: Almost lost my mind...

sometimes more than not:

Man = Dumb

I think you handled it just the way you should have...I actually think you were being too nice

Re: Almost lost my mind...

My DH had to go overseas with my last pregnancy for a funeral (I was nearly eight months pregnant and the OB said I could not fly). He was gone nearly three weeks, and it was really difficult to be without him during such a time. It sounds selfish, but I wish he had not gone, though I understand that he needed to be with his family.

Re: Almost lost my mind...

I can definitely understand if there was an emergency, family situation...but the truth is that he has no reason other than "he misses them" to go.

I have to be honest..I had some harsher words for him during this discussion but I gave you girls the gist of it! haha.

Truth be told..I think I was more upset that he brought this up in front of his entire family at dinner. I felt backed into a corner and I just had to excuse myself before it was a disaster.

I'm over it..but still a bit hurt. It'll be ok though. I'm sure it's the last time he'll EVER bring this up again!

Re: Almost lost my mind...

I would've flipped my lid but then again, DH would never in a gazillion years leave me for a month. That's just not him, we're together 24/7 and I would die without him for that long!! You have every right to be mad at him, that's a ridiculous amount of time to be away from your wife and home. Stand firm!!!

Re: Almost lost my mind...

Posted by Hofstra26

I would've flipped my lid but then again, DH would never in a gazillion years leave me for a month. That's just not him, we're together 24/7 and I would die without him for that long!! You have every right to be mad at him, that's a ridiculous amount of time to be away from your wife and home. Stand firm!!!

Re: Almost lost my mind...

I would freak out- having said this I have a DH who does business in Mexico about once a month. VERY dangerous right now- he dresses down and stuff but they send all these emails to him warning him about kidnapping. It makes me crazy.

I would have been as upset as you. A month, in a dangerous country while you are pregnant is a bit much.