Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

I lived in Lawrence with my family when I was little. After my parents got divorced when I was 6, my mom and I moved back to the city (we moved to LI when I was 4) and my dad stayed in the house at Lawrence until 19 years ago. He and my stepmom sold the house and then moved to Suffolk County.

I don't know what it is about this house, but I dream about it EVERY night (I have the craziest recurring dreams, but I always visit the same places over and over again...)


Yesterday, I was doing an observation for a child in Woodmere, and I realized I was close to my old home. I drove there....

Pulling into my block was the most surreal experience of my life. Not only was it weird because I dream about the block every night, but also because in a way it felt like I still lived there. And the house looked exactly the same on the outside.....

Being the ballsy gal that I am, I marched myself up to the door and rang the bell. An orthodox man opened the door (the whole town is SOOOO Jewish!!!!) and he remembered my maiden name - he was the one that bought the home from my parents. He let me in to look around.

And I cried....

I swear I think he is a rabbi or a therapist or somehting because he was so sweet - he was so understanding and I think he knew I needed to do this for my own soul. He was so welcoming right away - it didn't even faze him.

I even went up to my bedroom.

Of course, the inside was redone a bit, but everything was still there - all the rooms, the whole set up of everything.

I loved that house. It felt so homey to me.

Afterwards I walked through the town. Of course, nothing was the same - it was like Jew-Central with all the wig and hat shops, and all the stores had clothes to wear to temple. I have to admit that some of the younger orthodox guys were hotties. And sooooo many women pushing around babies....


So, now I've been feeling weird. I have been very weepy and sad - like a depression has swept over me because of this. I thought in a way it would help me inside, but now I have such a deep sadness, I don't know what to do with it....

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Liza, wow. I truly believe that this happened for a reason.

Firstly, I am so happy it was a positive experience for you. I'm so happy you encountered a kind soul who literally opened his door to you.

Maybe this was meant to happen. You posted last week about your frustrations with your family. I think its natural that going back to your childhood home could leave you with some sadness.

But try to focus on your present- your wonderful DH, your beautiful son, the amazing home you have made for the family you created.

On a side note, I also grew up in the area. Its amazing how different it is. But it still comes back to me. The rabbi I studied with moved to Woodmere. My new neighbor is a 22 year old orthodox girl from Woodmere with a new baby.

Message edited 5/20/2008 9:54:15 PM.

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Wow, I wish I could do something like that! Unfortunately, my home town is gazzilion miles away and I actually need a visa to go there...

I think that something like that can be soul soothinng and gut wretching at the same time... It takes you to places that you might not want to go to simply because you really can't go to them anymore... It's just an illusion... Physically, you are in that place but you are really not there anymore and you can never be there again... KWIM?

Definitely a sand through an hourglass kind of moment....

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

there are certain places from my childhood (mainly in germany) that elicit the same response from me...

psychologically, I think it is due to us retreating to a simpler time when we always felt safe.

I would love to walk through my Oma's co-op She passed away about a decade ago.... I still vividly recall the distinctive smell of the building and the echo in the lobby.......

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

A few years ago my mom randomly looked at the open house ads in Newsday and my childhood home in Massapequa was having an open house.

DH and I went and posed as home buyers. It was an amazing expereince to see my old room (same busy floral wallpaper from the 80s!), see where my swing set had been. I was so glad I went!

I had dreams about the house, too.

Hope it was a good experience

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

I know what you mean!! we only moved out of my childhood home 2 1/2 years ago, but my mom sold to a developer and he knocked it down to put up a 2 family house I dream about it alllllll the time!!! its so bizarre!! in my dreams its as if it still exists exactly as it was when we lived there

I think you & I must both be deep thinkers since we're having these recurring dreams......maybe it ties in to our childhood? I know I'm drawn to dreaming about my old house b/c its where I saw my dad last before he died.

what was your last memory of the house before moving? do you think you kind of feel down b/c childhood and innocence that goes along w/ it is so long gone? I get the same feeling going down my old block

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Posted by Gatsbygirl

A few years ago my mom randomly looked at the open house ads in Newsday and my childhood home in Massapequa was having an open house.

DH and I went and posed as home buyers. It was an amazing expereince to see my old room (same busy floral wallpaper from the 80s!), see where my swing set had been. I was so glad I went!

I had dreams about the house, too.

Hope it was a good experience

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

omg--must be so weird---i often think about going back to the apt my family and i lived in until i was 15

those were my best growing up years..i would have cried

i think it is good that you went...even though you may be sad

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Posted by HelenZ

I know what you mean!! we only moved out of my childhood home 2 1/2 years ago, but my mom sold to a developer and he knocked it down to put up a 2 family house I dream about it alllllll the time!!! its so bizarre!! in my dreams its as if it still exists exactly as it was when we lived there

I think you & I must both be deep thinkers since we're having these recurring dreams......maybe it ties in to our childhood? I know I'm drawn to dreaming about my old house b/c its where I saw my dad last before he died.

what was your last memory of the house before moving? do you think you kind of feel down b/c childhood and innocence that goes along w/ it is so long gone? I get the same feeling going down my old block

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Posted by Shelly

Liza, wow. I truly believe that this happened for a reason.

Firstly, I am so happy it was a positive experience for you. I'm so happy you encountered a kind soul who literally opened his door to you.

Maybe this was meant to happen. You posted last week about your frustrations with your family. I think its natural that going back to your childhood home could leave you with some sadness.

But try to focus on your present- your wonderful DH, your beautiful son, the amazing home you have made for the family you created.

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

I think that's awesome that you had the guts to ring that doorbell! I too have always felt a very strong connection to my childhood home. I still live 5 minutes from it and don't have the guts to go and ask to take a look around.

Try and put your feelings into perspective. You've got alot going in with your family/emotions lately. You have overcome SO much and have a wonderful husband and amazing son whom you love with all your heart.

This always made sense to me when I was sad about leaving.

You can never go home again, but the truth is-you can never leave home, so it's all right. ~Maya Angelou

For me now, home is where you hang your heart and the memories and comfort are always there. It's the next chapter in your life, the one where you are making a home with DH and Cailen, and you can try and recreate that comfort.

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

I know the feeling you mean. We sold my childhood home, just after I graduated high school. I would go back to see it if I was in the area, but I never wanted to go inside. The outside changed a little, but I wanted to remember the inside as it was a kid.

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

my childhood home is currently for sale...i like to look on mlsli and look at my old room. I lived there up until 6th grade. Each time I look i get overwhelmed with emotions (not necessarily sad ones). But I think it does tend to bring us back and reflect on where you were then, where you are now, and all that's happened to bring you here.

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

i dream about my childhood home too

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....

I just drove by mine a few weeks ago

they people that bought it are making alot of changes

which is good- it creeped me out that my Dad gave them so much of our furniture

I am glad it looks different


when they are done I am going to knock on the door and ask to see what they did

Re: Yesterday I did something that really moved me....