Letting go of friends

Is it easy for hard for you?
especially when the said friend has been really terrible to you?

Re: Letting go of friends

easy, toxic friends u dont need

Re: Letting go of friends

I guess it would have to depend. If this was someone that I really confided in and have been really close to - it would be hard.

Re: Letting go of friends

Letting go as in ending your friendship or as in one of you is moving?

I think you mean ending a friendship.

Eh, I only had to do this once and I did feel guilty - very guilty - but DH and my sister really supported my decision so it made it easier to know that they thought I made the right decision too.

To this day, almost 5 yrs later, I still think about her and wish the best for her. I've seen her parents who are wonderful people and I hear she is doing much better and really seems to have her life together now. So I'm happy for her.

I'm not one to hold grudges at all. I think it's a waste of energy and time trying to stay mad at someone making it a point to be obnoxious and keep telling someone "I dont like you"

I still think about calling her but it's probably best to leave things as they are, she is doing well, so am I and we've moved on. But there are times I miss our friendship (when it was good).

Re: Letting go of friends

About 4 years ago when I was moving to NJ two of my best friends "turned" on me.

They called me selfish for moving away (my job was relocating) and basically said that they never wanted to talk to me again if I moved.

Even though they were awful to me in the last couple weeks of my living in NY, it was really really hard to let them go.

Still to this day I have moments when I think "I have to tell them this" or they will pop up in a dream and I get sad.

Re: Letting go of friends

Re: Letting go of friends

I had to end my friendship with my former best friend about 4 years ago.

Even though I KNEW it HAD to be done, as she was extremely toxic and I was miserable whenever I spoke with or hung out with her - not to mention I later learned she had betrayed a confidence of mine-- it still was VERY difficult to do nonetheless.

I had been best friends with this person for most of my teenage and adult life. We were more like sisters than friends, or so I thought. She was an extended member of my family, and me of hers. We went thru some of the hardest times of each others lives together, and I really thought nothing would ever get in the way of our friendship .. boy was I wrong

So even though someone is very toxic in your life and you KNOW that the friendship needs to end, its so very hard. In my case, I truly loved this person and felt such loyalty towards her... "breaking up" w/her was almost worse than a relationship breaking up in some ways, we shared so much and I felt so alone and hurt. At the time it was very devastating to me to have to sever all ties though in the end, I was a much better, happier and stronger person for having done so

Message edited 12/8/2005 10:10:18 AM.

Re: Letting go of friends

It's hard for me. After you develop a loyalty to a person, it's hard to just let go of the friendship.

Re: Letting go of friends

Getting rid of the toxic ones is easy.

The other ones, it is always very hard, even though I know I am doing the right thing. It haunts me for a while, but it does eventually go away.

Re: Letting go of friends

Re: Letting go of friends

I don't know if I necessarily ended the friendship or it had just run its course, but about 4 years ago I stopped talking to someone I considered one of my best friends. Others around me had told me the friendship was toxic I just didn't believe it. I felt really bad about the relationship ending, its weird ending friendships sometimes seem worse then ending romantic relationships. Anyway, 4 years later I still think about her. I have heard she is doing well and is happy, which I am very happy about. If I ran into her today, I would chat with her but I don't think we could ever be friends again.

Re: Letting go of friends

Posted by MrsERod

Posted by Redhead

Is it easy for hard for you?
especially when the said friend has been really terrible to you?

if said "friend" was really terrible to me - then it would be very easy to let go, and rid them from my life!! after all, that "friend" probably wasn't a true friend to begin with!

Re: Letting go of friends

See i have had a friend for over 10 years, have b!tched and complained about her, we usually work it out but it has come tot he point where i am tired of the back and forth...

But i am still sad that she isn't in my life.


Then there is another friend, two actually, who are just self centered, self absorbed liars.....they weren't hard to said ADIOS to! I can't put up with petty bs.

Re: Letting go of friends

With some friends its more we've lost touch and its sad, but b/c its been so long since we've been close I don't think about them as much. I definitely miss the good times with certain friends but after so many months or years I'm on to making new memories with closer friends. So yes I think about those friends and get a little sad but not to the point where I'd go and try to be friends with them again.

Re: Letting go of friends

If a "friend" has wronged me in some way numerous times, I have no problem letting them go.

I've been through my share of girlfriends in my life and have no problems getting rid of the ones that cause me any sort of stress or drama..its just not worth it.

I've been told many times I'm more of a guys girl than a girls girl and honestly I really don't understand the way girls act sometimes...

Re: Letting go of friends

When I was younger, every few years I would do what my friends and I called "house cleaning". We would let go people who were toxic or bad friends and hold one to the ones who were good friends. Now, I have to say all the people in my life are good friends. I am happy to have them all.

I didn't have a hard time letting go of toxic friends. Sure its sad at first, but I realized what I missed was the memory and the way it was before, because the friendship when it ended wasn't anything worth missing. When you can look at the people in your life with pride and happiness, you don't miss those toxic/bad friends so much.

Re: Letting go of friends

I had to let go of a friend from 2 yrs old. She was so toxic it was ridiculous. Hypochondriac, worrier, no motivation and very demanding. Sometimes we think that these friends are important by length of stay. Hmmm...she didnt even come to my wedding. That was when I had to rethink if she was as important as I thought.

Re: Letting go of friends

think of it this way, life is too short so you can't be wasteing more time with a person.
seemly and prehaps it happens on accident, when a friend starts to fade away, another one friendship starts to blossom....

its hard replaceing years of friendship but you must involve like life does and not ponder on past moments of life.

Re: Letting go of friends

Re: Letting go of friends

I find it's easy to let go of friends that have burned me...definitely.