Ok - I need some advice

I am posting this over here - cause of more traffic over here.

I am due May 28, I am supposed to be in a wedding June 10 (one of my closest friends is getting married).

Now here is my dilemma, I am not sure if I should back out of being one of her Bridesmaids. Since I am due about 2 weeks before her wedding, I am not sure if I am cutting it too close. I know most girls do not give birth on their due date, so this is where I am worried. If I do give birth, and I don't have enough time to get alterations done?

I am so torn, I really don't want to miss being part of her day, but I am not sure if I will even feel physically up to it.

I think I really know the answer, but I wanted to get your opinions.

She told me it is fine what ever I choose to do.

Please be honest with your opinions.

Thanks

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Maybe you'll have a really smooth pregnancy and deliver two weeks early and be up for it!

Will you have someone to watch the baby for you?

Do you need to make this decision right now, or do you have a few weeks to see how you feel about it?

Re: Ok - I need some advice

i would try to be in it, go get the dress and participate in festivities
but she should know and be warned that the possiblity of you missing it is high

let her make the decision

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Mracie, if I were you I would back out of the wedding.

1. I feel like I'd want to give my friend 100% on her special day.

2. I think it's less stressful on your end & maybe even hers.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I personally would back out of being a bridesmaid. You're right...you don't know when you're going to give birth.

If you're only worried about alterations that's one thing. I had my dress altered the week before my friend's wedding because I was 3 months pregnant. It can be done...

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Can you move to a different role? Maybe a reader or something where you can be easily "replaced" in case you go early?

That way you are still there and still a part of her day, without the stress of being a bridesmaid?

Just a suggestion.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I would step down as a BM, but hope that I could make it to the wedding. It's just too close and is going to add unneeded stress to you as a new mother {trying to get fit for a dress, fitting into anything comfortable, what if you are overdue, what if you have recovery complications, etc, and so forth} and to your friend as a bride planning her day {matching gup BM and GM, pictures, day of running smoothly, etc...}.

If you are a guest, you can try to be there as much as you can but at least you won't have the stress and pressue of having to be at every thing. What if you decide you can't leave your newborn? Or need a nap between church and reception? Just some things to think about.
Good luck with your decision

Re: Ok - I need some advice

One of my bridesmaids gave birth exactly two weeks before my wedding. She did as much as she could (obviously didn't come to the Bach. party in AC) but tried to be as involved as she could - which I was really grateful for.

I was in her wedding party and although I would have completely understood if she didn't want to be in my wedding party - I was happy that she was in it.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I would back out. My best friend didn't make it to my wedding as a guest because she delivered 8 days before the wedding. She had a C-section and just wasn't up to it, and she was breast feeding and at such an early date, it was hard for her to leave the baby for more than an hour or two. she came to the church, but not the reception. She also delivered before her due date.

I would back out as a BM and tell her that hopefully you'll be able to attend as a guest.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I would back down. I had a Best Man who's wife was due the week of the wedding. It was such a pain to keep everything up in the air with them.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I stepped down from being a BM at my friend's wedding since the dress thing would have been an issue - instead I did a reading.

Message edited 11/16/2005 12:48:41 PM.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Thanks for your help girls

Re: Ok - I need some advice

One of my BM's gave birth 3 weeks b/4 my wedding. She had enough time to get her dress altered. She was so happy that she was able to be part of my day and I have very happy to have her.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I guess I'm in the minority, but there was no way I was ready to leave my baby at home for that long when she was 2 weeks old. I was supposed to go to DH's best friend from high school (we all went to school together so I know him pretty well also) when Sarah was 3 weeks old and I stayed home.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I would back out of being a BM. To me- its just too close. I think that you will most likely be able to attend- but the Bride is going to be stressed out 2 weeks before the wedding to see if you give you birth and how you're feeling. IMO its just too close.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I dont think you're going to be up for being in a wedding party right after you give birth. As much as I hate to say it, I think you should back out - because I dont think you'll be up to it physically.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I agree with MrsJ - I doubt you'll be up to it physically whether you give birth or not. Since it's your first, you'll probably go late which could mean just a couple of days before her wedding. If you have a c/s, you'll actually still be in hospital for her wedding.

And, if you give birth on or before your due date... well, I'm not saying it's impossible, but you likely won't feel up to being a BM, if even attending the wedding. Again, if you have a c-section, you can't even drive until 2 - 3 WEEKS post partum and you'll still be in pain, especially after standing or walking for long periods of time.

It's just cutting it way too close, IMO.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Re: Ok - I need some advice

I would definitely back out. I know its a hard decision but you never know how you will be feeling when the time comes.

Re: Ok - I need some advice

Personally - I would back out of the wedding party.

You may go early and even a week late - you never know and to make things easier for her and yourself - i would just back out of it and if you feel up to it - i would try to attend.

Even if you give birth a week before, you will be exhausted, your body will be healing, you will be adjusting to your baby and your baby to you and i don't think you would be up to the demands of being a bridesmaid. Its going to be a long day for you away from your baby - taking pictures etc.......

Im sure your friend will totally understand, there is no reason she shouldn't - especially when you are due that close to her wedding.
I would make your decision now - but whatever you decide im sure will be the best one