Should you stay or should you go?

For anyone who wants to answer:

What is the main reason that you would move out of state?

For those who have, what was the deciding factor?

We are still tossing up moving out of state versus staying here. Did the pros and cons list and both have pretty good perks.


We regret moving back to NY from Florida, however we wouldn't go back to Florida again (somewhere closer Carolinas - Gerogia - Viriginia). We just feel like whatever choice we do eventually make, we will somehow regret.

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

Not really the same as moving to the carolinas, but we moved up to Orange County, NY from LI (about 75 mins from LI)

CONS: I REALLY miss my friends on LI, DH misses the short commute to NYC, and my MIL in still on Long Island (if we lived on LI she would be able to watch DD so we can go out on a Saturday or pick her up from daycare when we needed it, etc). My brother and SIL are closer to us now, BUT they work full time. I had no family to watch DD so she is in daycare 3 days a week while I work P/T.

PROS: We bought a home we could afford on one income (DH's). It was a fixer on a lake. We paid way under market and so far it has been a good investment. I am able to work P/T, and with the year we had (my surgery) we were able to pay all of our bills (although it was very tight) due to the fact that our mortgage payment and taxes are equal what our rent payment was on LI.
If we bought on LI, I would be working FT in NYC basically a 10-11 hour day. DD would be in daycare FT too. We did not want that. I wanted to work, but to have a flex schedule and work PT.

I write all of this to say that at the time I just looked at the financial pros and none of the emotional cons when we decided to move up here. I wish I was more prepared for the emotional cons to tell you the truth. I HTH. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Message edited 12/16/2007 2:29:33 PM.

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

the financial pros for us are actually pretty equal if we look at the long term.

emotionally yes we would miss our family but we barely see them here.

both sets of parents would move where we do within the next 5 years so we won't be lonely forever.

however now we live 10 minutes from quite a few family members and the only time we see them is holidays, so I saw what's the dfiference between living here or there. we are never invited anywhere and when we plan things no one ever comes..so we are kind of like "why are we here?"

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

Posted by dandr10199

I write all of this to say that at the time I just looked at the financial pros and none of the emotional cons. I wish I was more prepared for the emotional cons to tell you the truth. I HTH. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

I moved to Maryland for work 8 years ago and I am SO glad. There is NO way we could afford to live anywhere near as comfortable as we do now. I see my family enough (it's a 3.5 hour drive/1 hour flight), and we talk every day.

The financial stress of living in NY would not have been good for our marriage. We are able to live comfortably, pay our bills and still have enough left over every month to go into savings and for entertainment.

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

we moved just so we could live comfortably in a house and if ever one of us lost our jobs we wouldn't have to struggle.
I'm glad we did b/c I didn't have a job when we first moved down and we were just fine...then over the summer DH lost his job and we made it on my salary. If we were in NY, we would have been so screwed....probably would be living in my parents basement

the only Con is that we left our families and friends. They do come and visit and in a few years my parents plan on moving down here.

and we have made plenty of new friends who we consider family now...so I think it was a good move. I don't regret it anymore.

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

I am originally from Orange County, NY myself. I'd probably move back there too if my husband didn't have his own company on Long Island with his best friend. Kinda hard to dissolve that right now.

I'd probably have to take somewhat of a paycut, but COL is still so much better and my family and lots of friends are all in that area.

If we ever have kids my husband's mom said she'd watch them, but her and my FIL are talking about moving out East to the Hamptons to a retirement community, so I really don't know how that would work.

Re: Should you stay or should you go?

we moved out of NY and loved it. But once we had kids we moved back and I am very happy that my kids will have a relationship with their extended family.

We are thinking about moving again - but not until our kids are older (and they don't have such an attachment to their grandparents)