Having a bad day - updated

Ugh, this is a never ending cycle...I'm on CD 27 and I was just told I'm going to have to do 2-3 more days of shots before I can trigger. And DH's work this week is screwing everything up so I'm not sure if we'll even be able to do the IUI.

My veins are totally blown - there is scar tissue all over them and its getting really painful for me to have blood drawn.

My emotions are getting the best of me - DH and I had a HUGE fight last night about how I've been so terrible to him over the past two weeks and I treat him like crap, I know it's true because I'm having so much trouble controlling my emotions. Not only from the drugs, but everything - I worry about how much our lives will change when/if I get my BFP, about what we will be giving up, whether I have it in me to grow up and be responsible for someone else, whether I will be a good parent, whether DH wants this as much as I do...

And then I come on here this morning and there's all this drama, which makes me - I feel like you girls are the only ones that understand me and watching you fight is like watching your parents fight LOL. This cycle can't end soon enough - I am done!!!

ETA - update

Just wanted to thank you all for your posts and FMs. This has been a hard day but your support has helped me so much.

And, no wonder I'm such a basketcase, my estrogen level tripled since Friday (its now 589) and the nurse said usually around 400 is when people start to lose their minds a little bit haha. Anyway, tonight I'm doing 112.5, tomorrow night 75, then bloodwork/sono/trigger either Weds night or Thursday morning, Friday IUI. And they are coming in a little early Friday to accomodate our drop off and will have all the paperwork ready so we can be in and out and DH can get to work on time. So I'll be flying solo for the IUI but that's ok.

Only a few more days left in this cycle...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now!

Message edited 12/3/2007 5:42:02 PM.

Re: Having a bad day

oh carolyn I'm sorry you are having a bad day. I totally know how you feel about your arms hurting from all the blood work and your is so much more with your long cycles.

Don't question your ability to be a great mother, you will be wonderful. This is a hard time for you and DH, he just might not handle it the same way you do. It is ok to be sad, but just remember why you are doing all of this. When you finally get your BFP you and DH will appreciate it so much more.

I hope you feel better, take a little time for yourself today to relax. I hope that you can trigger soon, then you won't see another needle for 2 weeks!

by the way I totally agree with you about all the drama!!

feel better

Re: Having a bad day

Carolyn

I dont really know much about infertility (as you know) but all I have to say is that if I can grow up and become responsible for another human being, you definitely can. When it happens you will be the greatest mommy. Your life will change..but for the better, you'll see. Right now is a stressful time for you. I cant imagine what you are going through right now and these past few months.

Re: Having a bad day

Re: Having a bad day

oh Carolyn, I am so sorry you are feeling down.
Can you ask if they can take blood somewhere else sometimes, maybe from your hands if they haven't already, to give the veins in your arms a rest?

You are taking a crap load of hormones, for your emotions to be all over the place is totally understandable.

I think we are a little scared of what life will be like when we get our BFP's - but remember you have 9 months to prepare, its not like you get BFP and them boom a baby! I think sometimes our husbands don't know how to say how they are feeling. I too wasn't sure if DH wanted a baby as much as I do. He might not have the longing like I do, I think that is strictly a female thing, but a couple of weeks ago I got all emotional about everything and said to him he didn't care about any of this and whether or not we had a baby, and he confessed to me that when my period came early last cycle, he was disappointed when I told him I had started bleeding. Since then I think I undestand a little better about how men work in these situations.

Hang in there.

Re: Having a bad day

Hang in there

Re: Having a bad day

Don't let it get you down...you will be a wonderful mom! Look at what you are doing and giving up just to get there.
When you are in a good frame of mind try to talk to DH and ask him to be a little more understanding of the stress you are under right now.

Re: Having a bad day

Re: Having a bad day - updated

Update at top...

Re: Having a bad day - updated

Hey, I'm so excited for you!!! I'm 1 week behind you and I hope I'm doing as well as you this time next week!!!
Looks like we both had busy days! I hope your DH blew off some steam and feels better- I know I've been lashing out at DH lately too--- and I know it's from the stress and the injections. I feel nauseaus all the time- but I'm getting used to it! Keep up the good work!!!

Re: Having a bad day - updated

Hang in there!!