reassure me of the "right thing"

i know what the right thing is... so why do i keep thinking of the "wrong thing"

i found out, through the grapevine, that an ex was looking for me... to see how i was doing. he was mean and hurtful. i've moved on, married, so forth and so on.

why do i keep thinking about calling him to tell him to leave me and those i love alone?

if i call, i'm giving him importance. if i don't call, i'm proving that i've moved on and i'm happy... which i am.

remind me that calling would be soooo stupid.

thanks

edited for spelling

Message edited 10/5/2007 1:57:43 PM.

Re: re-asure me of the "right thing"

Don't call. You know you shouldn't and you're right.

Re: re-asure me of the "right thing"

Ohhh, this one is a toughie!!! Well, let me tell you this... There have been many MANY times in my life that I have found myself saying "I should have trusted my gut on this". I say this because things happen for a reason (I truly believe it). I cant tell you whats right & wrong, but I can tell you that if you call, you may regret it. If you dont call, the feeling of "what if' will eventually fade away. If you have an overwheling urge to call- do it. The worst thing that can happen is that you tell him how happy you are. I'm sure he will get the hint.

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

seeing as this ex was a bad guy---don't call....don't give him the satisfcation....don't associate with him....and tell family that if he asks about you that you want nothing to do with him

he'll eventually grow tired of the chase. but don't let him feel he has a hold on ya anymore!

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

There's no reason to dignify his existence with a phone call...

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

Don't call
Don't call
Don't call
Don't call
Don't call



and




Don't call!

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

There's just no reason to call. Don't give him any benefits that he doesn't deserve. You have nothing to gain from calling him, so don't do it.

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

Don't call.

What are your options?

If you call & tell him to leave everyone alone, then you've given him the permission to think "Well I tried to say I was sorry but ..."

If he apologizes for being crappy, is it going to make you feel better about how you were treated?

You call, he doesn't apologize or recognize how poorly he treated you, he walks away with either: feeling smug like you still like him or feeling miffed & thinking what's your problem

More importantly (because I could care less about how he feels & care more about how you feel) either way, I don't think you'd walk away from the phone call feeling better. That's why you don't call.

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

I wouldn't call, but that's just me. There is mental satisfaction in just hearing "he's thinking about you."

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

DONT CALL!!!! Not calling "says" more than not calling!

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

Don't call him - There is absolutely NO REASON to call him and HE knows that just as well as you do
-
So, you pick up the phone out of nowhere and call him just b/c you heard he was asking about you ?? That just opens pandora's box - HE's going to have the satisfaction of knowing YOU went out of your way to call him, and you're going to be kicking yourself for it ...........

The way it stands now, YOU have the satisfaction of knowing he's been asking about you - Leave it at that. -

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

i agree with everything everyone said. i just needed "my girls" to remind me of what i already knew/know.



this really brought it home.

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

Why do you want to call him? What would be the purpose?

You have no *good enough* reason to call him... so don't!

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

Do NOT call him. He just want attention. he just wants to know he still has an "in". He doesn't. Don't call him.

I have an ex who is famous for headgames. I'm sure he'd do the same thing if he didn't know how to reach me. As it stands he will find any ridiculous pretext for contacting me. Eugh.

And besides, nothing says "leave me alone" better than not responding at all to his games. If you call him, he'll think it's ok to call your friends to find you. Even though you're telling him it's not ok, the result will be that he reached you so fo course he'll repeat the beahvior. Don't respond. Eventually he'll stop trying when it doesn't work

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"

I dated a "bad ex" and heard from him at Christmas time. I broke up with him and we left off on not good terms. He didnt know whether I was seeing anyone or not. He sent me an e-mail. I didnt even acknowledge it. I admit that a part of me really wanted to, but I didnt for 2 reasons...I didnt want to give him the satisfaction that I cared anymore and secondly, our relationship was growing very unhealthy when we broke up and I knew I couldnt become involved with him in anyway anymore which included any communication. You are happy now and have moved on..I wouldnt contact him.

Re: reassure me of the "right thing"