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JavaJunkie
Someday, Somehow
Member since 6/05 5857 total posts
Name:
Lois
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Jewish girls I need your help!
A friend of mine father passed away and they are sitting shiva from Sunday-Friday at her house. I've never done this before and want to pay my respects. How does this work? Do I just show up at her house at whatever time? Do I bring something? Do I find a babysitter for DS? How long do you stay? I'm clueless! TIA
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Posted 10/3/07 9:13 AM  |
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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
if you bring anything, make it food. flowers are a no-no.
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| Posted 10/3/07 9:15 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
this link should help
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| Posted 10/3/07 9:20 AM |
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BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!
Member since 10/06 5913 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
I'm not Jewish but DH is. I've only experienced a few. One was DH's Aunt (out of state but FIL sat here at his house) and two times at our neighbor's. It really depends on them so you should ask your friend. The few that I've been to were very reformed. Nothing official, no special prayers, no mirrors covered. FIL did wear a black arm band for his sister but it was just like a Catholic mercy dinner where friends and family came for visits in and out all day. Some brought things and some did not. And most were not even dressed up. But they are very reformed.
For our neighbors, I brought a cake for one and then I made a tray of lasagna for another and they were very grateful as were their relatives because no one had to cook.
Whether they are reformed or Orthodox, I'm sure they will be appreciative of any kind gesture you make.
I'm sorry for your friend's loss.
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| Posted 10/3/07 9:24 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
There is no prescribed time to visit - you can visit anytime during the sitting shiva period. Most people join in on the first day or two, so if you want to go when there are other people, you should probably stop by sometime on Sunday or Monday.
It's ok to bring children, but it is a somber event so if your DS is super cranky or will run amuck it might be best to get a babysitter. When I pay my respects, we usually stay an hour or two for people we don't know all that well. For family/relatives, obviously, it's more.
If you bring anything, it should be food and it should be kosher. Bring bagels, deli meats, cheeses, deserts, etc. - it doesn't matter, as long as you buy it from a kosher place.
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| Posted 10/3/07 9:25 AM |
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HillandRon
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2922 total posts
Name:
Hillary
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
I would bring rugalah or cookies. NO FLOWERS
You can go anytime but the more popular time is around 7:30 at night, that's when lots of people usually are there.. You don't have to stay long either..
Personally, I usually don't bring my Dh with me out of the respect of the family since he is a handful and they are mourning...
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| Posted 10/3/07 9:37 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
Everytime I have brought Jeremy to a Shiva Call (way too many times  ), it has been appreciated by the families. I know the families though so it mght be different.
As far as what to bring, cookies or fruit plates are always appreciated!
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| Posted 10/3/07 10:33 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jewish girls I need your help!
Posted by Bxgell2
If you bring anything, it should be food and it should be kosher. Bring bagels, deli meats, cheeses, deserts, etc. - it doesn't matter, as long as you buy it from a kosher place.
Yes, or a sweet item... cookies, etc. as long as it is kosher. Some people don't mind if it is or not but many, who may not normally keep kosher, only want kosher during this time.
DH's family is Jewish.
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| Posted 10/3/07 10:49 AM |
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