Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

who is totally obnoxious?? I just can't take it anymore.

DH doesn't have a lot of friends. He came to this country 10 years ago and made some friends, who are still his friends. They don't live in Manhattan (where we live) and we don't see them often.

DH has this otehr friend who we met about 6 years ago, and ran into again about 2 years ago. He was very good to DH at the beginning and they became good friends. He lives in the city and is single.

He has always been obnoxious, but it didn't affect me- so I let it go. But lately, it is getting out of control.

He calls DH every night just when he gets home. DH gets home at 8 and I go to bed around 11. So its not a whole lot of time together. But without fail every night he calls during that time, even when Dh asks him not to. On the weekend, he calls about 4-5 times PER DAY! He calls DH almsot as much as I do.

He has said some pretty racist comments which I find totally offensive- and told him so.

The latest is his comments about our decisions. Why are you painting your apartment? You guys rent and will be there only a year more???

And when DH is around him- he makes bad choices. Like he decided to go out last Sat. night with this guy, after we got home at 10. He doesnt' come home until 3 and he has to wake up with DD at 7 (Sunday is my day to sleep in).

And now he is renovaating his apartment and wants DH to do everything with him- even pick out the fixtures. Its like DH is HIS wife.

Well last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. We were having dinner with DD- and it was past her bed time. I was unhappy that dinner was going so late and Jordana was getting very restless. So he says, maybe she didn't have enough play time today. She was probably in th stroller too much?
HELLO!!! This is MY KID. YOu don't think I know how to take care of MY DAUGHTER! I got so mad and called him out on it. He apologized, but still.

Then he gives her three spoonfuls of his desert, after I told him not to and that I don't give her sugar. In fact, I saw the thrid spoon going towards her and I said no. He starts to put it away, and then sticks it in her mouth anyway. So now, its 8:30 and she had 3 spoonfuls of chocolate and ice cream. Just what I need.

I told DH I need a break from this guy. Ugggh! But I just wish he wasn't friends with him. KWIM?

Message edited 9/24/2007 7:29:28 AM.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

Yikes! Either your DH needs to ask his boyfriend for some "space" or you need to find this guy a GF!!

In all honesty, most of these things don't sound too bad but when you put them all together (and the calling 4x per day!) I can see how he's getting on your nerves.

Good for you for calling him out on that comment about Jordana... he needs to know that you are not afraid to call him out yourself rather than going through your DH. That way, when your DH starts to take a little space from him, he can't blame you.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

I know someone who is just as annoying. I feel your pain.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

Time for a SERIOUS talk with your DH about him. Your DH should NOT be letting any of this happen. He should have drawn the line with the phone calls, feeding your daugher when he was explicitly told not to, and commenting on your parenting.

This needs to stop, but your husband has to be the one to do it. He needs to be somewhat forceful about it, though, since this guy clearly doesn't get subtlety.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

Message edited 9/24/2007 10:31:44 AM.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

Can you and DH take more control of the friendship? For example, don't answer the phone everytime he calls, don't invite him over for dinner, make him work around DD's schedule, not the other way around, decline his invitations to do things and make other plans so you won't be available when he asks.

You (DH) can still see him and talk to him, but make it be on your own terms -- not his.

Sounds like he really needs a serious girlfriend to take up some of his time.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

Posted by lilacwine



Can you and DH take more control of the friendship? For example, don't answer the phone everytime he calls, don't invite him over for dinner, make him work around DD's schedule, not the other way around, decline his invitations to do things and make other plans so you won't be available when he asks.

You (DH) can still see him and talk to him, but make it be on your own terms -- not his.

Sounds like he really needs a serious girlfriend to take up some of his time.

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

My DH has someone like this. A real "Gem". I no longer allow him in my home and will not join my husband when he goes to his place. It is worse bc the jerk is married and he acts like my husband should be there at his beck and call..It got really bad at one point I was like him or me!!! DH now distances himself...but unfortunetly this jerk doesn't get it...he still calls and text's DH all the time. I just try the best I can to ignore it all. It really SUX...sorry for your situation!!

Re: Does anyone else have a friend of DH/DW

Posted by SuzyQ

Posted by lilacwine



Can you and DH take more control of the friendship? For example, don't answer the phone everytime he calls, don't invite him over for dinner, make him work around DD's schedule, not the other way around, decline his invitations to do things and make other plans so you won't be available when he asks.

You (DH) can still see him and talk to him, but make it be on your own terms -- not his.

Sounds like he really needs a serious girlfriend to take up some of his time.

I was going to say the same thing. Do you have caller id? Just don't answer during the time you don't want him calling. Maybe then he'll get the hint.