.

.

Message edited 11/11/2005 4:35:02 PM.

Re: Friend Question

bump

Re: Friend Question

I had a friend like this. I was constantly making excuses for her not being there, or not seeming to be interested in what was going on with me. It was all about HER.

Finally, she blew me off when my grandparents passed away, and that was the last straw. Haven't spoken to her since, and she never even tried to contact me!

Re: Friend Question

Posted by Bee-bee

What do you do with a friend who you feel takes your friendship for granted? I've been dealing with this almost my entire life, this person is a very, very close friend of mine, we are close like sisters. BUT here's the problem, we are close ONLY when it is convenient for her. It's been like this since I've known her, which has been forever. And it really hurts my feelings. She is aware of how I feel, I have told her plenty of times. It just goes in one ear and out the other and I just don't know what to do anymore about it.

Re: Friend Question

I had a friend like that. After telling her 3,001 times, I started distancing myself from her.
Unfortunately, I learned that you can't force someone to be your friend. Not only was it tiring, but it was overwhelming that things wouldn't change regardless of how many times I'd try to talk to her.

You have to begin to accept that you both have different priorities in life. And though, she will always be a good friend, you just can't fight for her attention anymore. Life pulls people in different directions, and I just understood that we just couldn't, and probably wouldn't be, the best of friends we used to be.

In the end, she ended up "breaking up" with me, and I no longer talk to her.

Re: Friend Question

It is heartbreaking to feel so close to someone who isn't always there for you. I've learned the hard way to not put myself out there any more. IMO, I'd just walk away before you get hurt even more. Cut the ties and forget about her. I know it isn't easy, I know from experience. But can you continue to be hurt by someone who doesn't care enough about your feelings? It sounds harsh but you need to walk away and quickly before you lose whatever is left of your "giving" nature.




p.s..

if you need a friend.........I'll be your friend!

Re: Friend Question

.

Message edited 11/11/2005 4:35:26 PM.

Re: Friend Question

i would always try to talk to my friend and tell them how i feel a few times...
If nothing changes after a few talks...well either i will just distance myself or say see ya later

Re: Friend Question

IMO-mwhen you're not gaining much outta a friendship and only getting hurt then it may be time to distance yourself slowly or just end it. I know it's easier said than done but...it's not fair to you.

Re: Friend Question

Posted by Bee-bee

What do you do with a friend who you feel takes your friendship for granted? I've been dealing with this almost my entire life, this person is a very, very close friend of mine, we are close like sisters. BUT here's the problem, we are close ONLY when it is convenient for her. It's been like this since I've known her, which has been forever. And it really hurts my feelings. She is aware of how I feel, I have told her plenty of times. It just goes in one ear and out the other and I just don't know what to do anymore about it.

Re: Friend Question

Re: Friend Question

I was in the same situation. SAME.

It was a friend of mine that I had for 15 years...I always made excuses for her and felt that we were friends for so long...it's a shame to let the friendship go. Then I would also remember the 1-2 good things she has done for me in my life. We were VERY much like sisters but she was verbally abusive.

I learned after a LONG time that those are not reason's to have someone called a friend.

I started to distance myself...little by little she got tired of calling...so we haven't spoken in 4 years.

I miss her sometimes, but I also think about how much better I am without her.

The hardest part was letting go of the family she came with. They were great!

Do what is best for you...no one deserves to take you for granted.

Re: Friend Question

I knew that this was common, but I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in this. It's definite sad to see a friendship, but I find solace in that it's part of life.

Re: Friend Question

To me, this doesn't sound like much of a friendship. A friendship has to work both ways, or it doesn't work. You sound like you are HER friend, but she doesn't sound like yours.

Re: Friend Question

Thanks everyone for such great advice!! I'll keep you posted