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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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What should I do?
I have been working at my job for 2 1/2 months. I don't really have any friends at work yet. Almost all the attorneys are men. We are pleasant to one another- but not too friendly.
One of my co-worker's mother passed away yesterday. The funeral is Friday morning at 9 and the mass is at 10. There is a wake Wednesday and Thursday.
What is appropriate for me to do? I of course want to pay my respect. I don't know too much about Italian family mourning. Is it appropriate for me to go to the funeral? Do I stay for mass? the wake? neither? both? I am Jewish and I have never been to a mass before.
I just want to do the right thing.
Thank you.
Message edited 7/25/2007 7:18:57 AM.
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Posted 7/24/07 10:37 PM  |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: What should I do?
I would just go to the wake either Weds or Thurs 
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| Posted 7/24/07 10:38 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by julz33
I would just go to the wake either Weds or Thurs
I agree.
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| Posted 7/24/07 10:42 PM |
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Re: What should I do?
Wake only.
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:00 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by julz33
I would just go to the wake either Weds or Thurs
I agree
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:02 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: What should I do?
Stopping by the wake should be fine.
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:05 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: What should I do?
Wake only and a sympathy card.
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:06 PM |
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islandersgirl74
Love Being A Mommy!
Member since 6/06 5804 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by chmlengr
Stopping by the wake should be fine.
i agree
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:07 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: What should I do?
Have you had an opportunity to ask your coworkers what they planned on doing? I would ask if they planned on sending office flowers or something and wanted a contribution. I would also attend the wake.
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:08 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: What should I do?
I'd just go to the wake, but I wouldn't go to the first viewing. For conservative Catholic families like mine, the first viewing is just for family, as it's usually the first time we've all seen each other since we lost our loved one and it can be pretty upsetting. I'd hate for a co-worker to see me when I was that upset.
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:11 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: What should I do?
Go to the wake on Thursday and send or bring a sympathy card. Also, if you've never been to a Catholic wake, it's customary to kneel and say a prayer in front of the coffin. DON"T FEEL YOU HAVE TO if you're not comfortable with it. People understand if you just pay your respects to the family and go and sit in the back for a little bit.
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| Posted 7/24/07 11:18 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: What should I do?
Thanks guys! I really appreciate the advice.
The wake on Thursday is 2-5. I think I will go then.
Message edited 7/25/2007 7:18:42 AM.
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| Posted 7/25/07 7:14 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by ssdbk
Wake only.
Yup. Go to one of the wakes.
Don't go to the funeral.
ETA - and you don't stay at the wake the entire time - just as long as you feel is comfortable and appropriate.
Message edited 7/25/2007 8:13:44 AM.
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| Posted 7/25/07 8:13 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by CathyB
I'd just go to the wake, but I wouldn't go to the first viewing. For conservative Catholic families like mine, the first viewing is just for family, as it's usually the first time we've all seen each other since we lost our loved one and it can be pretty upsetting. I'd hate for a co-worker to see me when I was that upset.
I agree, My family is the same way. Just the wake will be fine.
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| Posted 7/25/07 8:16 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by JennZ
Posted by CathyB
I'd just go to the wake, but I wouldn't go to the first viewing. For conservative Catholic families like mine, the first viewing is just for family, as it's usually the first time we've all seen each other since we lost our loved one and it can be pretty upsetting. I'd hate for a co-worker to see me when I was that upset.
I agree, My family is the same way. Just the wake will be fine.
VERY good point. I forgot about that. Definitely don't go to the first one -- and also don't show up in the first 15-20 minutes of any of the viewings. It's extremely unnerving to see people with whom you are not very close at the very beginning of the viewing. I know in my family, the first few minutes, we just want to be together as a family.
Show up about an hour in and stay for 10-15 mins or however long you feel comfortable.
I think it's very nice you are trying to show respect.
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| Posted 7/25/07 8:23 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: What should I do?
I would also say just go to the wake. Speaking from experience, I didn't notice all that much who was at the funeral besides family and I needed the support more during the hours of the wake than during the funeral mass.
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| Posted 7/25/07 9:25 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by donegal419
Wake only and a sympathy card.
I agree
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| Posted 7/25/07 10:00 AM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: What should I do?
Posted by JennZ
Posted by CathyB
I'd just go to the wake, but I wouldn't go to the first viewing. For conservative Catholic families like mine, the first viewing is just for family, as it's usually the first time we've all seen each other since we lost our loved one and it can be pretty upsetting. I'd hate for a co-worker to see me when I was that upset.
I agree, My family is the same way. Just the wake will be fine.
I totally agree, go to the wake, but not the first viewing...and you don't have to stay long. Maybe 20 mins or a half hour...stop in, pay your respects, sign the book, and then slip out.
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| Posted 7/25/07 10:30 AM |
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lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: What should I do?
And, go with your co-workers so you'll have people to talk to.
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| Posted 7/25/07 10:34 AM |
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