Shower etiquette

How do you feel about inviting out of state guests that you know can't come...isn't it just asking for gifts?

I got invited to a shower in Florida....I can't go! So, I guess I will invite her to mine too. But we have family in California that I know can't come...do I invite them?

Re: Shower etiquette

I have OOT family, and I only sent invites to my mom (who was coming), step mom (who was not coming) and one of my best friends (who was not coming). I have other OOT family, but didn't send them invites. I knew they wouldn't be able to come.

Re: Shower etiquette

It's a tough call. I have one friend from FL who I know can't make mine, and I was going to invite her at first, but then I realized it really makes no sense since I KNOW she can't come. If she was a best friend of mine, however, I *would* invite her. Does that make sense?

Re: Shower etiquette

I would-I personally would be more hurt if I was close to someone and not invited...

Re: Shower etiquette

When we got married we invited OOTers to the shower (mostly family)

For the baby shower, we are not going to invite OOT family members. My DHs family sends gifts after the baby is born. I will however invite my close college girlfriends (I never went to their showers, but always sent a gift)

Re: Shower etiquette

I am invited some OOTers that I know probably won't come, but I know they would at least like an invite. I don't expect a gift.

Re: Shower etiquette

I have a lot of immediate family that is OOT and I will invite them-they would be highly offended if they weren't included. My one aunt and cousin actually were planning on coming to my shower from FL which was really surprising.

Re: Shower etiquette

I dont invite out of state relatives...all of my sisters are OOT and I know they arent coming..

Re: Shower etiquette

Depends on the situation and the guests invited. I did invite my aunt, cousin, and my cousin's wife even though they live in TX. They would be hurt if they didn't get an invite and my cousin's wife invited me to both of hers.

My mom invited some of her friends from NJ who she knew would come.

I think if it is someone close who would be hurt to not get the invite or if you were invited to their parties I would send one - but if there is no chance they would come and you would question if they should get an invite I say hold off.

Re: Shower etiquette

It depends on how far they are....I have a few close friends that are waaaaay far away and my mom didn't invite them because there was no way they'd be able to make it. But I have friends who live a few hours away and they were invited becasue it's closer.
I guess if they'd have to take a plane to get there, I wouldn't invite them.

Re: Shower etiquette

Thank you for the responses. We have family that we are very close to in California...but I know they can't come. So I don't think I will bother with the invites.

Re: Shower etiquette

I have a very dear friend who lives in MD. I went there for her shower, but I would never expect her to come to NY for mine (she has an infant and her job is less flexible than mine is). However, I think she would be hurt if I didn't invite her.

I think if the person is someone you are close to, send the invitation. They are happy for you and excited to meet your baby and will want to share in this time with you.