You'd think it would have "hit" me by this point...

With all I've been through for this pregnancy with the bedrest and my house filled with all baby stuff staring me in the face, you would think it would have hit me big time by now that in a mere matter of weeks, I am going to be a mom to a newborn.

Nope.

Even writing that seems strange.

Telling people at 36 weeks that the docs say the baby could come at any moment seems SURREAL. This whole thing is like a "dream". Like there's nothing that comes at the end of this special time of "being pregnant". I feel like I'm counting down the days til Christmas Day or something, like it's this one exciting day and then it's over. Yes, it's an exciting day, but it's not just "a day"... it's the start of a whole new life of raising a child and being a parent. I just can't fully come to terms with it. And, unfortunately, a lot of times, the first thoughts that come to my mind tend to be negative... the pains of labor, less sleep, juggling life, diaper changes, how life with DH could change, breastfeeding issues, how much busier life is going to get, being late for everything without a child and how it will only get worse, being responsible for this little boy... just learning this whole new world. Yes, I think about good things, too... like holding our son, how great my DH is going to be as a dad, how we're going to plan family vacations, his Christening, introducing him to our loved ones, seeing all his firsts, etc., but I have to admit... most of my thoughts of parenthood stress me out and take over! And when I see on television parents going through divorces or something, I think... they were probably happy, too, when they were having their first child. The divorce rate is so high, it scares me! I don't EVER want to be apart from my DH... I love "us", so I guess I'm afraid of what comes with change. I'm afraid of stories like that little Brooklyn boy and am scared to death of ever having to deal with something like that (God forbid). I'm afraid of childhood sicknesses. I'm afraid of my kid having to deal with mean kids and problems growing up. It just seems like so much of my thought process these days is totally worrisome and depressing - rather than totally excited and ready to go at the idea of being a first-time mom!

I just feel like - even though it's imminent, it's so unreal and overwhelming.

Does anyone else feel like this? Maybe I've had too much time to think? Sorry so long and depressing...

Re: You'd think it would have "hit" me by this point...

don't be depressed. It will all come naturally and everything will fall into place. Yes, it does all seem overwhelming, but no need to stress now about it. It's not that bad after all

Re: You'd think it would have "hit" me by this point...

I felt like this before DD was born. It's scary having no clue what the future holds!

You're in for the most exciting ride of your life!! It will start going free fall fast, and you will experience more love than you ever knew was possible to feel.

Re: You'd think it would have "hit" me by this point...

My DD is 4 months old....and it all still feels surreal sometimes. I look at her and think OMG you are really HERE you were in my belly and now you are HERE in the world. I still cant wrap my mind around it sometimes. It's an overwhelming love and fear all at the same time. It's definitely a crazy ride, bound to get even crazier. I felt the same way as you just before my DD was born. I look back now and wish I would have been less stressed and just enjoyed the ride. I'm trying to do that now that she is here. Hugs to you.

Re: You'd think it would have "hit" me by this point...

I totally understand. I keep making plans for after the baby comes like I'm getting back my former life. It's like it's not sinking in that I will have total responsibility for another human being in less than 6 weeks.

When I sit back to think about that, I get depressed. It actually ANNOYS me to think I will have to get babysitters if I want to go out. My friend said something about how we can have game nights now that we have babies the other day. Game nights?! Had she lost her f-ing mind?! Game night is for old, boring people. I don't care that there is a bottle of wine involved. Still lame and not my deal. I'm not 55. I absolutely hate the idea that my care free days are over. To think I can't just run into 7-11 for coffee annoys me. To think I can't go shopping or go to the gym after work (I work late hours) annoys me but if I want to see my kid at some point, something's gotta give.

I really hope that once I see this kid, my feelings change because I'm definitely missing the mommy gene at this point.

Re: You'd think it would have "hit" me by this point...

Yes. I felt this way all the time. In fact I still do and my dd is 3 months already. It's a whole ball of emotions because everything is so new. When you see that baby for the first time everything changes. I never knew I could love another person that much. The love you will feel for your child is incredible.

And don't worry about your relationship with dh. I had the same fear. I'm not going to lie but the first couple of months were the hardest on our relationship, but once you get into your groove things will be fine. I think I love my dh more now since dd was born. When I see him with her it just melts my heart. I think we have an even better relationship and marriage. And don't worry about loving someone more than the other. That couldn't be further from the truth. It's a completely different love you have for dh and your child. I can't describe it. It's exactly like the grinch movie, your heart will grow ten times that day. Your heart expands to fit lo and dh!

But trust me things will be fine. Mommyhood is amazing!!!!!