Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

I apologize in advance for yet another post about potty training...

BUT...I am going to attempt potty training this weekend with my son that just turned 3...

1. Would anyone mind sharing a copy of the 3 day method? I've found several versions online, but they are all slightly different. Im not sure which one I should go with?

2. For boys, do you teach them to pee standing up?? Or sitting now??

3. Did you use pullups overnight until they were dry overtime? Or did you just go all out and had them go to sleep in underwear? That part makes me very nervous. I dont see how he would all of a sudden control peeing while sleeping if he hasnt yet mastered it during the day??

Thanks in advance!

Update - So we attempted this method over the weekend. Following it to a T...

Yet we incurred accident after accident after accident. I kept looking for all the signs but sometimes he literally would just GO out of no where and once wet, would just ask me to change his underwear. Then the times when I picked up on the signs and he would hold it or cross his legs, I would scoop him up and bring him into the bathroom BUT he would FREAK out, petrified to let it go in the potty, whether standing up OR sitting down. He just wanted NOTHING to do with it and just kept saying over and over that he just wants to go in his underwear, he doesnt want to go in the potty. He would get upset if I kept asking him and by the middle of day 2, the poor kid looked completely defeated. My usually happy, spunky son was just so sad and miserable from us hounding him to use the potty - I decided that I needed to back off a little and just caved and put on a pull up.

I just didnt want it to become this negative experience for him and felt like if I kept pushing him to do something he wasnt comfortable doing that he would become defiant and just prolong the whole process.

No bribes or incentives worked - I would tell him if he went pee on the potty, he would get a prize from the treasure chest...and every time he said, No I dont want to go pee pee on the potty...when I would even try and face him towards the potty to aim inside (my husband also showed him a million times) he would just cry and say he didnt want to.

I have both the potty for the reg toilet and a mini potty - he didnt want anything to do with either...

i guess I am just looking for advice here - I dont want to give up but I dont know how to get him over this fear of releasing into the potty. everything i read online is so conflicting, my head hurts and makes me all that much more confused.

anyone have a child with this fear? were you able to help them overcome it or did you just need to give them more time?

I am just so sad for him - and I have never felt like such a failure as a parent because I just dont know what I am doing wrong or how to help him. He is 3 - and I know some kids dont train until closer to 4 in some cases. But I dont see why he cant do this - he understands the urges, he just doesnt want to release it into the potty.

If you've made it this far, I appreciate it :)

Message edited 5/31/2016 11:05:05 AM.

Yet Another Potty Training Post...

I have a copy of it. FM your email address!

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...

Yet Another Potty Training Post...

I just potty trained my son who is newly 2. We trained sitting down. Hoping to teach how to stand up over the summer. We also use pull ips at night and nap

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...

2. Definitely teach sitting down. DS starting standing pretty quickly...probably a month or so after he trained, but that he learned at day care. I was shocked the first time I saw him pee standing up!

3. Leave him in pull ups until he wakes up dry. DS was always dry, so we kept him in pull-ups for a short time, and then the transition was super easy.

Good luck!

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...

For boys definitely start sitting down. It's less confusing and less messy.

We have been keeping DS in pull ups overnight. He still wakes up wet every morning but in another few months we'll drop the pull up cold turkey and deal with the accidents if/when they come.

Yet Another Potty Training Post...

Start sitting. My DS started standing on his own. Tackle one at a time.

Yet Another Potty Training Post...

I'll be different - we went right to standing. He did fine and there was no mess at all. We kept him in pull-ups overnight bc I refused to do a boat load of laundry bc "they" say you shouldn't put your child in pull-ups at night. If your son wakes up soaked at night, having him in undies now won't miraculously make him hold it all night long.

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

Update - So we attempted this method over the weekend. Following it to a T...

Yet we incurred accident after accident after accident. I kept looking for all the signs but sometimes he literally would just GO out of no where and once wet, would just ask me to change his underwear. Then the times when I picked up on the signs and he would hold it or cross his legs, I would scoop him up and bring him into the bathroom BUT he would FREAK out, petrified to let it go in the potty, whether standing up OR sitting down. He just wanted NOTHING to do with it and just kept saying over and over that he just wants to go in his underwear, he doesnt want to go in the potty. He would get upset if I kept asking him and by the middle of day 2, the poor kid looked completely defeated. My usually happy, spunky son was just so sad and miserable from us hounding him to use the potty - I decided that I needed to back off a little and just caved and put on a pull up.

I just didnt want it to become this negative experience for him and felt like if I kept pushing him to do something he wasnt comfortable doing that he would become defiant and just prolong the whole process.

No bribes or incentives worked - I would tell him if he went pee on the potty, he would get a prize from the treasure chest...and every time he said, No I dont want to go pee pee on the potty...when I would even try and face him towards the potty to aim inside (my husband also showed him a million times) he would just cry and say he didnt want to.

I have both the potty for the reg toilet and a mini potty - he didnt want anything to do with either...

i guess I am just looking for advice here - I dont want to give up but I dont know how to get him over this fear of releasing into the potty. everything i read online is so conflicting, my head hurts and makes me all that much more confused.

anyone have a child with this fear? were you able to help them overcome it or did you just need to give them more time?

I am just so sad for him - and I have never felt like such a failure as a parent because I just dont know what I am doing wrong or how to help him. He is 3 - and I know some kids dont train until closer to 4 in some cases. But I dont see why he cant do this - he understands the urges, he just doesnt want to release it into the potty.

If you've made it this far, I appreciate it :)

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

I would wait a few months. My DD was about 3 1/2 when I trained her. I had tried when she was close to 3, and she just wasn't ready. At 3 1/2, she got it in one day.
I know how frustrating it can be. Just give him a bit more time.

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

Posted by StaceyWill

I would wait a few months. My DD was about 3 1/2 when I trained her. I had tried when she was close to 3, and she just wasn't ready. At 3 1/2, she got it in one day.
I know how frustrating it can be. Just give him a bit more time.

Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

Agree with the others, take a break and try again in a month or two.

Dd was just over three and had been ready for a long time but just not willing. I did take the advice from a preschool director to build her confidence by letting her try new things on her own and then draw on that. One day she did a slide she'd always been scared of and I said how brave she was that she could do it all by herself. Maybe she could be brave and try the potty by herself and she said why not lol. That was it, she was trained!

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

How old is he?

He just doesn't sound like he's ready. I'd wait a few months and see if he shows signs of being interested.

DS was PETRIFIED to sit on the potty. Like crying and shaking. So I just lay off of him. Then one day he wanted to sit before his bath...and he peed. He started seeing other kids in day care doing it. I never had to do the 3-day method or anything. Literally one day he just said he wanted to wear underwear and we never looked back. He never had a daytime accident and I could count the number of times he had a nighttime accident. So basically, it was SUPER easy...once he was ready. He was 2 months shy of 3 years old when he trained. Every child is different and they are all ready at different ages. My advice is to be patient.

ETA: I just saw that your son just turned 3. He's still young. Give it a few more months and try again. I'd also suggest letting him "watch" his friends, if he has any that go on the potty. I think DS watching his friends at daycare really helped.

Message edited 5/31/2016 1:54:24 PM.

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

I think that by 3, fears can emerge.
I swear by doing it earlier.

Take a month off. Next time you are ready, show him another kid using the potty. Praise other kid (My DD resulted in our friend's kid training herself during vacation & they were 2.5!).

Another thing that I find is super helpful is having the kid naked during the first 2 days of 3 day method. This way he sees the pee & connects with the urge. Then sing "pee pee in the potty" and make it happy. Big hoorays if he makes even a drop there. Def start off sitting.

Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

Lay off completely - he's not ready at all. I would try again in a few months time.

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

Re: Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and suggestions! I will definitely back off a bit and give him some more time.

Yet, he needs to go to preschool in September and the requirements are to be potty trained.... Guess we will see...

Yet Another Potty Training Post...Update - Advice Needed...

At his age its a battle of the wills more than anything. The older they are the more stubborn they will tend to be.

I pushed through the stubbornness because with my DS if I didn't take charge he would be going to college in a diaper (no joke)

Message edited 6/1/2016 9:51:49 AM.