WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

Just curious how others would handle this.

My girlfriend has a daughter my DS's age so we have playdates alot. The kids are a month apart so they usually have played 'parallel' for some time but they know eachother well and her DD hugs and kisses my DS every time they see eachother.

That's where the love story ends.

Whenever we have playdates, DS will get involved with a toy and she will YANK it from his hands, hit him if he doesn't get it from him, yank his hair, whatever. I always see it before her mom and I usually go over to DS and am speaking loudly, "HEY, HEY" to distract her.

The mom rarely does anything when she does this. No 'share' talk, no removal from the situation. I'm always removing DS if she gets rough.

How do you handle other kids being rough with your kids? Do you say something to the kids? Do you say something to the parent? It's such a sticky situation - I don't want to 'parent' her child but i also don't want DS being bullied by another child.

I know it's a tough age to set boundaries (14 and 15 months) but still.

Help!

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

ME personally, I would have no problem telling her to knock it off. I would also address it with the mom. If you guys are friends she should be able to handle it. If not, to bad! I come from a family who no matter whos kid it is, if they are wrong you correct it. No hard feelings.

Flip it, would she correct your child if it were him doing it? probably!

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

For me personally, I might have a problem with someone else disciplining my child. But I would also be on top of it with my child. If someone else spoke harshly to my child, i would likely flip on them, especially if I was there. But there's a big difference between saying "you have to share", and yelling or speaking harshly to my child. I wouldn't be ok with anyone else yelling or speaking harshly to my DD unless it was an immediate safety issue.

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

I think I would stop having playdates with them....I can't stand people who don't discipline their children and let them do that. I would chime in here and there but it's not your place to be the one playing referee.

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

I'm not sure. My Nephew is 2 yrs adn 9 months. he was bothing my 10 month DS for over 10 min and finally my DS kicked him in the chest really hard w/ both feet. I was kind of glad bc I felt like I could not say anything to my SIL (she is a huge nonparent, I can't stand it!) . she still didn't say anything, my DS kicked him again, then he left him alone. I am STILL questioning what I should have done so i'm curious as to what others will say

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

I would like to say that I would speak to my friend about it, but I don't know how I would begin to say something. I would probably end up avoiding them, but if you really don't want to do that then maybe think of a way that you could say something to her.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with correcting her child without full-on disciplining. Like, "Hi, Sally...Johnny was playing with that. Please give it back. You will have a turn soon." Hopefully, then your friend would step in if that didn't work.

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

To avoid and awkward conversation with your friend, I'd address it in a manner that she should get the jist...."Hey Jack, Jill had that toy first and you will have your turn in a little while. Being friends means you share and take turns otherwise Jill is going to be very sad."

If that doesn't work, I'd say something to the mom like "would you mind looking around and finding a toy that Jack would enjoy playing with since he keeps taking Jill's toys away and at this age we can only hope that they will understand the concept of sharing."

Totally passive agressive LOL

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

I would tell other child to behave. Just like I would not mind someone saying that to DS if he did not behave in their house. Although I would NEVER conceive to let DS do anything that is not appropriate or in line with a nice playdate.

After that I would just stop having playdates with them. I don't believe in having such interaction if you feel that your DC is getting hit all the time.

Re: WWYD? Parents who don't "parent".

I think 14 mos is a bit young to understand sharing. If you see it happening i would definatley say something to the little girl like you have to play nice.