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Message edited 12/22/2013 1:49:39 PM.

Re: MIL vent

I don't think you are being petty, but it sounds like she is stuck in her ways. Seems like she alredy has her grandchild from her daughter and that your'se is secondary. KWIM?

My MIL was kind of weird at my shower too. She kind of sat there when I was opening the gifts and only moved when I opened her stuff.

If it bothers you, I'd just have DH talk to her.

Re: MIL vent

Sorry to hear that your MIL is being such a pain in the you know what. Hang in there!

Re: MIL vent

That baffled me too. I called her name to let her know I was opening her gift and that didn't even inspire her to get up and watch!

And, yes, I do feel like her daughter gave her the grandbaby and ours is #2 - which * ****. I have never had a preference of gender for this baby b/c I really just want a healthy child - but somedays I wish it's a girl just so I don't have the same gender as SIL and our baby isn't "the other grandson".

I did make it clear to DH that no future events will be scheduled to accomodate her - I'm sick of making the effort with nothing in return.

Message edited 2/5/2008 4:08:19 PM.

Re: MIL vent

Awww.....I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly about your MIL situation. She does sound quite difficult.

Everyone has their family issues, believe me, I have mine. I chose a long time ago to just do whatever I can to make the situation better. Sometimes I really have to hold my tongue , but in the
long run they are my family, I love them and life is just too short for bad family relations. And believe me, my MIL is a big PITA.

You might try talking to her about how you are feeling, and hopefully things will get better. A good technique to use when confronting someone is to start with "I feel blah blah blah" rather than "You always blah, blah ,blah." The emphasis is then on how you are feeling, and others feel less "attacked"

Good Luck to you!! I really hope things improve!

Message edited 2/5/2008 4:49:47 PM.

Re: MIL vent

Posted by Michmouse
You might try talking to her about how you are feeling, and hopefully things will get better. A good technique to use when confronting someone is to start with "I feel blah blah blah" rather than "You always blah, blah ,blah." The emphasis is then on how you are feeling, and others feel less "attacked"

Good Luck to you!! I really hope things improve!

Re: MIL vent

Sounds to me like she is selfish and could be jealous of you and doesn't know how to show you the proper attention. Thankfully it's seem as though you have a great Mom and a very supportive husband. Sometimes for me it feels the other way around and my MIL treats me like her own and my own Mother could care less.

Re: MIL vent

Re: MIL vent

I'm so sorry for what you are going through and no, you are not overreacting at all.

Your MIL sounds like my mom. My SIL is the sweetest woman in the world and no matter what she did and my mother treated her horribly!

However, SIL took the higher ground and never let it bother her. She continued to treat my mom with respect and include her in my nieces/nephew's lives. I have no idea how she was able to hold it in and be the bigger person but she was, and now my mother loves her. (as much as my mother could love anyone, bc she is generally a cold person).

I envy my SIL for not letting it get to her and if you are able to do it, I would try.

When she asks what you got, tell her in a excited voice all the great things you got and all the wonderful people who love you.

Don't let her get the best of you. I know it's easier said than done. I personally would not be able to do it, but from seeing SIL, I know it can be done and is the best approach!

Good luck!

Re: MIL vent

Sorry your MIL is giving you grief, I can relate a bit. My MIL didnt sound very thrilled when we 1st told her that we were expecting. She already has 3 grandchildren, and didnt sound very happy for us at all. DH git upset with her on the phone that day and told her that our close friends that we told sounded more happy than she did. She of course denied it, and said she was just worried how the other grandchildren might feel left out with a new baby. Then she changed her tune and called me the next day trying to fix change it, saying that she really was happy for us, she was just surprised at first. i say to myself whatever! i am not going to let my MIL ruin this special time for us no matter what. try not to let her get to u and surround yourself with your family and close friends that give u good baby vibes!

Re: MIL vent

Re: MIL vent

Sorry your fuming about MIL. I have somewhat of a problem with my FIL. He is divorced from my MIL and has a second family - but this is his first grandchild. Now I love him dearly - he is very nice to me - but we hardly ever see him and we found out he never even told some of his family (whom we never see) that we were expecting.

He also promised us that he would get the bassinet he used for his daughter (10 years ago) out of storage and give it to us....Well I'm 33 weeks and still waiting for it.

You can choose your DH, but the In-Laws come with the deal. You can accept them for what they are or keep letting it bother you. They are not going to change their ways.

Don't really have advice. Just venting with you....

Re: MIL vent

Posted by SweetCaroline



Is a mature approach something like, "I feel like you S U C K "

Thank you