WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

thanks for the advice everyone!

edited to remove!

Message edited 8/20/2008 11:11:38 AM.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

DEB

stand your ground!

I am also proud of u for holding off sooooooooo long!

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

What does the bride want to do?? That is who you should be asking here.

Did she ask her sister to plan it and jus surprise her or did she have something in mind?

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

honestly - and this is the "male" in me

I'd just suck it up for another few weeks

do the wedding for your friend's sake

and then afterwards, limit your dealings with the sister

unfortunately in some if not most instances, blood is thicker than water

so, standing up for yourself would be good in the short term for you - the long term problem is you're putting your friend in the middle of her blood and her best friend

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

I would ask the B2B what she wants to do and express to her that you really just wanted something special. Go from there.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Im so sorry you have to deal with this...I can relate in a way, for my wedding my MOH kinda did the same thing for my shower I found out through the grapevine she told the girls at the last minute they owed $200 each for the shower, but never asked them for there input on where it should be, and the invite said it was only given by my MOH...I made sure on the thank yous to write "thank you for giving me such a wonderful shower" to all of my BP, In regards to the Bach party Maybe your friend just knows how this mOh is and will not let it bother her or her night, I really hope she doesnt not go, she is just hurting the bride, I dont think you did anything wrong, your part of this BP too and paying so you should be able to make suggestions, I hope it works out

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Do whatever the bride wants to do. That was very nice of her FI to offer.

I'll tear the MOH apart if you want

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

wow.

I don't know what I'd do.

I think my shower was run the same way by my sister. I never heard any complaints, but I can't imagine anyone would complain to me the bride about the cost.

bite your tounge and then after the wedding, be done with the sister.


yikes- I wouldn't know what to do either

the only money I asked the BM for last weekend was $45 for the Van

and they each had to pay for the ferry

I paid for my sister to take the ferry

I didn't even let my sister see me ask people for money - and I hated asking for the $45

(yes- everything turned out perfect!)

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Why cant it be kept local Deb?

Wouldnt that be cheaper for all and that way no one has a prob getting home?

I feel bad for her, its like this is the time to enjoy it all...and shes feeling bad about it all.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

I agree with Beth here. I never saw anyone give anybody money either.

at a friends shower, all the BM's were handing the MOB their checks. not a big deal, but I think I would have done it a little more discreetly.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

I've been in that situation before, except the MOH wasn't the bride's sister. But she was CHEAP and I called her on it and she hasn't spoken to me since the wedding.

That was 2002.

And while I don't care whether or not she talks to me (I don't like to include stingy, cheap people who like to cut corners among my friends) it has made life difficult for the bride who is one of my closest friends.

It's a tough call. That MOH needs a b*tch slap, but it will probably cause problems/unnecessary stress for your friend if it happens.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

As much as it kills me to say this..... I think you should bite your tongue.... I has a similiar situation so I feel your frustration.....I thinking speaking up will only cause more discomfort towards the bride...the more she hears the worse she feels and now shes contibuting towards eveyone gowns??? not fair to her..If you really want to give her something special b/c you think she deserves it I would either give her an xtra generous gift or do something with just the two of you......I'm sorry your going through this, it will be over soon

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Sorry Deb, but I'd bite my tounge

I'd go w/the flow to make it easiest for everyone. Patty will end up finding out who did what and who contributed what in the end. You don't want her looking back on her shower/bach party/wedding having any thoughts in her mind that you, of all people, contributed any stress to it whatsoever.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Posted by DanaRenee

Sorry Deb, but I'd bite my tounge

I'd go w/the flow to make it easiest for everyone. Patty will end up finding out who did what and who contributed what in the end. You don't want her looking back on her shower/bach party/wedding having any thoughts in her mind that you, of all people, contributed any stress to it whatsoever.

Re: WR - WWYD - Sorry long but I need to know how you would handle this

Oh Deb, sorry you're dealing with this, especially since you're preggo! But this could be your excuse to dish out all your frustration on this MOH LOL! What a ******...On a serious note, I can't believe that people still do this these days, meaning chip in for the shower. I think it was different back in the day since things were not as expensive and people did not go all out but $190 per person AND on top of it all dealing with cr@p is unacceptable. With that said, for your sake, and for the sake of your relationship with your friend, who I'm sure knows whats going on, just try to lay low...its not worth it.