Would this bother you?

One of my very close friends is getting married on Nov and the Bridal Shower is in September. She lives in Chicago now, but from Boston. The Shower will be in Boston.
DH has a very close friend in Boston that he's known since college. They were in each other's weddings years ago. We haven't seen him in years. With families and all just time passed, but we always keep in touch, cards, gifts, etc.
As soon as I found out the Shower date I called the guy's wife and told her the weekend and we figured we would make a mini family vacation out of it. We would stay with DH's friend on Friday and Saturday, do stuff with the kids, sightsee, etc. I would go to the Shower Sunday while DH stays with the kids, his friends and their kids then we would go home after. This was a couple of months ago.
DH gets a call from his friend Friday that another very good friend of his is having his bachelor party that weekend. It's destination, etc. His friend is giving him sh%$ about it so he feels bad and is going. Told us we can still come for the weekend and stay with his wife and kids. Now I do love his wife. We get along great, but I am so pissed.
First the guy is complaining it's a destination wedding and he's spending a fortune and now he has to go to the destination bachelor party the weekend we already had plans. Also, this guy didn't go to DH's bachelor party bc he went to a destination bachelor party the month before and it was too much to spend.
Sorry so long, but just needed to vent about the situation. I was really looking forward to it and really don't want to take the family and stay at a hotel, etc. WE are going to Disney the month after so it's a lot of money to be spending.

Re: Would this bother you?

It seems like he had plans with you guys first so yea, it would bother me too. He should've RSVP'ed no to the bachelor party, I don't think it's right that he's bailing on you guys. Could you maybe talk to his wife about it?

Re: Would this bother you?

would I be a little upset yes. Its a wrink in your plans and I do understand.


is what the guy doing wrong, absolutely not. Its not like he is ditching you for no reason. Plus, they are still saying "stay, come with my wife & kids" etc. I know I'd be ok hanging out with my husband's wives without the men folk.

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Re: Would this bother you?

Re: Would this bother you?

My guess is that the guy would prefer to go to the bach party but is using his friend giving him a guilt trip as an excuse

Still wrong, of course, and I would be annoyed, but I'd be glad to know now what he thinks of your friendship, he obviously doesn't place as much importance on it as you do. I'd make plans to stay at a hotel, see the wife and kids if you want, but I would not put myself out there anymore.

Re: Would this bother you?

Would this bother you?

I think it's rude to go to the bachelor party. If the friend really wanted him to go so badly he should change the date of the bachelor party or say he can't go because he has guests coming. I could understand if he did it for the actual wedding but not for a bachelor party.

Obviously he values the other friendship more than his friendship with your DH. ;

Re: Would this bother you?

i guess Im the minority here but i dont see it that being that big of a deal. Its a bachelor party he cant help what day it is sucks it happens to fall on the same weekend you had plans with him.
You were going there anyway so its not like you made the plans to go there just to see him.

The only thing i would probably be annoyed at is that he didnt go to DH bachelor party but is going to this one. I would never say anything to him about it though.

Re: Would this bother you?

Re: Would this bother you?

Re: Would this bother you?

Re: Would this bother you?

It sucks that your plans aren't going to work out the way you had wanted, but no, it wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't expect him to miss the bachelor party because I had a shower to go to and planned on being in town that weekend. He doesn't want to miss his friend's bachelor party, just like you don't want to miss the shower.

Re: Would this bother you?

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it. Wasn't coming on to start drama.

Yes, I will be going to Boston for the Sunday then. Plans were originally to see his friends and family for the entire weekend. Friday to Monday and see the city. THe kids never met, etc.
His friend isn't going for one night BTW. It's a destination bachelor party so he's going to an island or something for a few days.

This time my DH and the boys will stay at home or we will figure something out.

Re: Would this bother you?

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by kerrycec03

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by kerrycec03

would I be a little upset yes. Its a wrink in your plans and I do understand.


is what the guy doing wrong, absolutely not. Its not like he is ditching you for no reason. Plus, they are still saying "stay, come with my wife & kids" etc. I know I'd be ok hanging out with my husband's wives without the men folk.

But if he committed to plans with the OP first then he's totally wrong. You don't accept an invite for something else when you already have other plans made. That's just so rude.

but if I reading this correctly its only 1 day he is missing, as the 2nd day she's going to the shower. Plus, if the shower invitation didn't go out, they probably wouldn't be visiting them anyway. Kinda like saying "only seeing you guys cause we'll be in town".

She made plans with them as soon as she realized she would be in town. If they committed to hanging out that weekend then he is totally wrong for accepting an invite to something else. What does it matter that they are only in town because she has a shower? That just gave them the opportunity too see their friends. Regardless of why they are in town they made plans and her friends DH is wrong for committing to something else that weekend.

Re: Would this bother you?

Re: Would this bother you?