Why don't people think sometimes?

I'm SO mad right now!!!! My SIL (who I'm not AT ALL close with) just called me to check on my mom (shocking- but I'm guessing she spoke w/ her mom b/c I was on the phone w/ her when she called in via call waiting)... anyway- she asked about my mom and then starts talking about accupuncture and eggs, referring to my appointment tomorrow!
I give her a very vague answer- just saying I have to get a 'procedure' done and she flat out asks me if we're going thru IVF!!! She then goes on to tell me that in ALL of the time we've been trying, she NEVER knew.... We've been married for over 4 years and trying since day 1- she was broken up w/ her boyfriend of less than a year and found out she was pregnant the next week- and now she has a beautiful son while we're still trying..
Is she serious? She really thought we weren't trying? Now I'm annoyed, but don't know who to take it out on- probably no one. My own family (except my parents) don't know we're going thru this- and ONLY DH's parents know on his side (to my knowledge- though I know she's mentioned it to at least his aunt but that was no big deal b/c she's in another state).
My DH sounded so annoyed that his mom would give out personal info about us like that, especially to his sister, who is a gossip queen. I think I'm going to have to call his mom tomorrow and remind her that we're not sharing this info w/ ANYONE else (which I know I've already told her on more than one occassion- but maybe she took the WE as the important part rather than the ANYONE)... my ILs are great, but now I have to tell them to stop talking about us... and I know I'll do it nicer than DH, even though I'll hate to do it at all... I also think DH is going to have to call his sister- she talks to my SIL from time to time b/c they both have kids and if my DBs wife ever found out that my SIL knew something like this and she didn't, she'd be so upset. It was so hard getting the BFN after our iUI b/c everyone knew that we decided that we weren't going to let many people know anything about it in the future- except our parents b/c there was a good shot I would hyperstimulate again and I wanted to be prepared since I care for my grandma, etc.... UGH! The hits just keep on coming.

Re: Why don't people think sometimes?

Maybe she was just trying to find out? Trying to help or ask questions?

Im not sure I understand because you say in 4 yrs how could she not think you were trying, but when she asked you , you got mad?


I may not have been following it right?

Re: Why don't people think sometimes?

sorry- i tend to rant when I get mad. she knows- and I know that she knows (knew)... i'm not stupid. she's never been an overly nice person- especially not to me- and she's made more than her fair share of remarks about how when we have kids her son won't matter anymore, blah blah blah and how at least she got to give them the first grandchild.... she constantly tries to hurt us by her comments and both my DH and I know it and see it- and choose to do our best to ignore it, rather than make a scene.
her brother (my BIL) knew when we were doing IUIs and he mentioned to me that he had mentioned it to her- and i know he wouldn't lie, b/c he thought i had cancer when he saw me heading upstairs w/ the gonal-f pen in hand, and DH following me up w/ an ice pack and the rest of our supplies- he was genuinely concerned about me and pulled me aside clearly worried about me- and even then he told me he had spoken to my SIL to see if she knew what was going on... and later updated her.
Since we've gotten married she's made her 'so when are you going to give me nieces or nephews already' comments- to which I always reply, 'we're working on it'.... it's just frustrating b/c I feel like her intentions weren't b/c she actually cares about me or my DH, they were b/c now we can be the latest gossip at the family party in a couple of weeks....

Re: Why don't people think sometimes?

Re: Why don't people think sometimes?

I found your post hard to read, can you add paragraphs ?

I think the jist of it is that MIL told someone you were doing IVF

My lovely MIL did too

Let it go, let DH deal with MIL - you don not need this added stress. In the long run, its irrelevant, but should remind you to be cautious around MIL

Re: Why don't people think sometimes?

Re: Why don't people think sometimes?

Sorry you have this to deal with on top of everyting else!! laugh her off