Why can't I let this go?

OK, so a few weeks ago we were visiting some friends. The woman is very pregnant, and the whole time she kept showing me her belly and saying things like, ooh look, the baby is kicking! Now granted, we never told them the ugly details of what we're going through, but she knows my age and that we started trying awhile ago. Does it not occur to her that we might be having trouble and it might be painful for me to see that? It didnt really bother me too much at the time, but the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I know I shouldnt really be, because she doesnt know that we are going through IF, but is it wrong for me to wish that people were a little more thoughtful or sensitive sometimes?

Re: Why can't I let this go?

I hear you. Honestly though I don't think people have ANY idea of how hurtful even the smallest things can be (not that showing you her pregnant belly is small, I know that must've been hard) ..especially when they don't realize you are dealing with IF. I think we are all so super sensitive to all things pg and baby related...and sometimes I think people MUST know that we are having problems, but maybe they just don't.

Re: Why can't I let this go?

I can totally relate. I've had a friend like that too and you figure they must know your having trouble if its been this long - meanwhile they show no sensitivity. But that being said, I do think people don't realize what they're doing sometimes, esp. if they never dealt with it themselves. Maybe too when PG, you're so excited, you don't realize how it may affect those around you. ANyway, you're not alone - don't let yourself think about it for too long - I've done that, and it uses up so much energy.

Re: Why can't I let this go?

I know what you mean. I get so upset but my DH says that I don't let other people know what I am going through so how could they know. But I guess it just feels so obvious- like how could they not realize!

Re: Why can't I let this go?

Some people are so oblivious. Heck I was one of them. I remember "badgering" one of my co-works "When are you having a baby..." I did this for MONTHS. I didnt know they were going through IF and how much of an azz I was being until I actually went through it myself. This may sound silly but this is just another example of a way IF makes us better people. I think we're more aware and sensitive.

Re: Why can't I let this go?

I think you need to be honest with your friend and just tell her that you are having IF issues. I believe once people know they do try to be more sensitive.