when will it get better/easier?

i feel horrible for feeling this way but at times i think why did i have a baby? i was so excited to have one and i LOVE MY DD TO DEATH! but i feel like all i do is feed her and change her. I have no time for anything anymore i barely have time to go to the bathroom! Im so drained and even though DH or my mother will watch her so i can nap i cant really nap cause im worried about her or i hear her. I miss being able to run to the store if i want to...or as stupid as it sounds being able to do laundry,,clean all that stuff. DD is almost 3 weeks old and i feel like a prisioner...when does it get easier? when will she be more interactive?

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I definitley went through this.
DS was a great baby, but, had is moments as all infants do. My house has sort of an "open" floor plan. I can't tell you how many "laps" I did around the kitchen to den to foyer with him in my arms to try and get him just to relax.
DH would say to me "I'll do the grocery shopping" and I'd jump down his throat...*I* wanted to do the shopping. He didn't understand that I needed that break. We'd argue about it..He didn't get it.

I can tell you now. DS is 13 months and my goodness it DEFINITLEY gets better!!! On warm weather days, get your DD out on walks around the neighborhood. As soon as the thermometer hit 40 degress, we were out walking. It's GREAT for both of you!!
I promise. It DOES get better.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

It gets better!! In the beginning it's soo hard, but I have to say, around 2.5 months when DD started sleeping through the night and going longer stretches between feedings, it was a world of difference!! I did take DD out and about when she was just a couple of weeks old, but I was careful to keep her hood up on the infant seat. I think it's the only way to stay sane....to get out in the real world!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

for me, the first 2 months were the hardest and I have the easiest baby on the planet

hang in there, it will get better

Re: when will it get better/easier?

4wks i would say was about the time Dd and I started to understand one another and got a flow going. We did have our off days but overall it got easier. Your doing great, every one doubts themselves, its just human, plus its your FIRST baby.. its a whole new world being a mommy.

and you know what, the next baby will be a whole new set of worries, b/c then we will have a newborn + another little one running around.. But motherhood is still the best thing ever!!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

2 months was definitely a turning point. He started to sleep a little longer at night, which gave me a little more rest. Now, at 3 months, he is more alert and more fun, but still needs a lot of attention.

I agree with the having someone come over so you can sleep. I had a friend offer to do this, but I have never been a good napper, and if I hear the baby, I wake up immediately, and can't get back to sleep, even when I know someone else is taking care of him. I just let the cleaning go to a certain extent. I can't do everything and I would rather spend the time with the baby. The house will be cleaner one day in the distant future.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I have to say - this is sooooo normal!!!!

You are going through so much physically and mentally - on so little sleep - that you need to adjust into this whole thing - and an infant is not like anything else- its a brief moment in your long parenting career...

I'll never forget when he 1st smiled at me - he started at 2 weeks - but a real, social smile with eye contact started at 4 weeks - and I remember thinking - OK - this is good. I can do this.

At this age, they don't give back - they are little need machines, and thats it.

But as the months go on, and they start doing more, it is all worth it - the 1st slimy, gummy kiss they give you, those big drooly smiles, the way they squeal when they see you....

You are building the foundations for a healthy and happy little human. the more they feel mommy against them, the more they develop into the loving child you will see grow right before your eyes....

You will look back at this time with bittersweet memories.

And you will be posting words of encouragement for some other new mommy - just like I said I would someday!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

Im going through the same thing right now, We will get through this

Re: when will it get better/easier?

are u bfing, maybe switch to formula and give yourself a lil more time....

Re: when will it get better/easier?

i promise promise promise it gets better. Like above poster said, it is completely normal. It gets SO much better! For me I'd say 2 months was also the turning point when longer sleep habits started and you began to feel like you actually know what you're doing. And then every month since then it just got better and better. In the meantime hang in there!!! I know wholeheartedly that this has nothing to do with your love towards your child. It's a HUGE adjustment. And you will get through it!

Message edited 3/4/2008 9:25:30 PM.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I think two months was a marker for me. It DOES get easier, I promise you, this adjustment period is filled with exhaustion, worry and hormones. It's OKAY to miss the things you used to do. DD Is 5 months and there are things I still miss but it just seems to flow. As soon as that baby becomes more interactive and fun, you are going to fall in love with Mommyhood, don't worry.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I feel so bad for you. I went through the same thing. DD has reflux & an allergy. The first 2 months were horrible. Me & DH fought, we resented the baby. It's so horrible but we were like..What did we do? We wanted this baby sooo bad but we did not sign up for this. To say we had a rough time in the beginning is an understatement.

I'm feel so bad that you are going through something similar.

I PROMISE you it will get better!!!

At 2 months maybe 2 & 1/2 months it gets so much better. You can actually start to enjoy the baby more & you'll have more time to yourself.

Just take comfort that this time WILL PASS and as hard as it is be present because once they "calm" down and come into there own they are no longer that little bitty newborn anymore. At 3 months they are tough little bouncing babys.

It is still tough for me at night when I want to "run out" but she's sleeping so I can't (DH works nights) but then I think...at least she's sleeping! Running out with the baby during the day will get really easy & like second nature in a few weeks.

FM me if you ever want to vent or have questions. It's ok to feel this way!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I went through this probably at least the first 6-8 weeks. the days ran into the nights and it was constant doing the same thing--diapers, feeding etc.

I did feel so much better the days I made myself take a shower in the morning and get out of pjs. Try to make a point of this

Re: when will it get better/easier?

we all went thru this and YES it will get better... for us it was the 1st 2 months
it will get better and you will get to take a shower and wash your hair all in the same time ;) and clean the house..ect....hang in there it will all be fine

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I think we've all been there...for me those first 8 weeks were brutal...DD had a witching hour every night (for 2-4 hours of non-stop crying); they don't smile or interact yet; you're constantly feeding/changing them & the sleep is so staggered.

At 8 weeks it was like a switch went off & girls on here told me that too...I kept that in the back of my mind & knew I could get through it.

Hang in there, try to get a day out w/ your DH or by yourself...you need some alone time.

We're here for you

Re: when will it get better/easier?

We all have written this post before. We all have felt this way so its 100% normal.

It gets easier at about 10-12 weeks...they become different people. They may stillc ry etc, but you are more used to them.

Now I w ould give anything for a few of those days again ( hes 9 months) ...Its a different thing at each phase.

ALso your hormones are playing a part still in your reactions. That takes time as well.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

Posted by Eireann

Posted by shellybean

are u bfing, maybe switch to formula and give yourself a lil more time....

I must respectfully disagree 100%. If you are BF and you are committed to its success then DO NOT stop! Remember, in the beginning, the more you BF, the better your supply is established and the easier it gets in the long run.

That said...yes, BF is HAAAAARD stuff in the beginning. Trust me, when DD#1 was born, I was so depressed. I was practically glued to the same spot on my couch all day long BF. In addition, my DH was out and about and I felt resentment towards him, DD, and everybody else that was living a normal life! I also said to myself, "What the hell was I thinking with this motherhood gig?!"

It took time--maybe a month or more--before I became more equipped to deal with the whole thing. There's no shame in admitting that this isn't what you signed up for! As we all can attest, we've been there and even though you don't think so right now...it gets better!!!

Hang in there! You're doing great! Be proud of yourself!!

Message edited 3/4/2008 9:30:34 PM.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

As everyone else has said - it gets SO much easier and SO much better. What you are feeling is 100% normal!

We have all been there!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

Not sure what else I can add to the above, but it does get better. After the first 2-3 months it was like something suddenly switched. As for sleeping, I found it best to sleep in the recliner with him. (Just made sure his face wasn't near to burying into me.) Those first few months, if it wasn't for sleeping with him on the boppy in my lap overnight, I would've killed everyone around me. Now I'm 6 months in and I can't even remember the first few months.

Re: when will it get better/easier?

Most of us have been in this same position as you.

I don't think it ever gets easier, per se, but you do get into a groove. You get a little more sleep, you adjust to your NEW "normal" and things turn around. Before you know it, you forget what life was like before your DD!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

Hang in there, in a few weeks she'll start social smiles and your heart will melt. Around that time she'll start to sleep longer stretches at night and have longer wake periods during the day.

With my DD, by 8 weeks we started to develop a routine that allowed me to take her out and about for walks or short errands.

DD became more interactive every week especially as her vision got better. Here is a site for games you can play at all ages. Maybe it will give you some fun things to try with her.




Weekly Games for Infants by Age

Re: when will it get better/easier?

I felt the same exact way!!! I did not BF, but had the baby blues pretty bad. DD was milk allergic (which went undiagnosed for 5 weeks) and screamed and pooped constantly. I thought I was going out of my mind.

It all turned around between 6 - 8 weeks and by 12 weeks I was a new person.

It will get better!! Hang in there. IF you need to vent feel free to FM

Re: when will it get better/easier?

It WILL get better. And you WILL go out alone and go shopping. It takes time, patience and understanding. Your DH is new at this just like you. Mine needed some wake up calls to realize what I needed.

My DD is almost 13 months so I remember the place you are in right now, all the way to the time of year. It is dark and dismal. You probably feel alone. I know I did.

The best advice I can give you and others gave it to me, is if the weather is decent, go out. Even if you and DD just go to Babies R Us and walk around for a little while, you will feel better. I was so nervous to go out with DD that I made myself feel worse. It is liberating to pack up the baby and go somewhere.

And remember that we are all here and we have been through it. A year ago I didn't believe it would get easier, and some days are still tough but each day DD is growing more and more independent.

Hang in there!

Re: when will it get better/easier?

It does get easier - promise. It is very overwhelming in the begining because it is such a lifestyle change. Also your body is going through a great deal of change.

Try and relax when someone is watching the baby. It's easier said than done but really try. I have to agree that by the second month things start to turn around.

With DS his infant days are just a blur - I don't even remember that time. Good luck and hang in there - it will turn around.