When to start discipline....

Like when do you start saying "NO". The only time I've said it with meaning was when she bit my nipple while Bfing (OUCH!). It actually made her cry...I felt so bad. Anyway....I don't wanna say NO unless I really have to. DH had been saying it ALOT to her - like when she makes that razzing sound while she is eating so her food sprays. I think that is normal and she should be able to play while eating. He totally disagrees. When do they understand No?

She is also a bites, pulls hair and hits like was mentioned in another recent post. She is 9 months old.

Re: When to start discipline....

I'm with you on letting baby play while she eats. Tell your DH to lighten up and let the baby be a baby. He can work on her manners when she is 4.

My daughter is only one, and thus far I've only used "No" to stop her from something dangerous, or to let another mother know that I saw what my daughter did and am removing her from the situation.

Of course maybe I'm raising a brat -- I can't tell you what the outcome of my approach is yet... guess I'll have to wait a few years to find out.

Re: When to start discipline....

I am trying to get DH and myself in the habit of not saying no. Instead we'll explain to her..."I know you want to play with the spoon but that end is dangerous". If we just shout NO at her everytime she does something we think she shouldn't I think it will end up getting us nowhere. Hopefully we can make this habit stick and get the results we hope for.

Re: When to start discipline....

I say no to things where she will get hurt or is hurting someone.

No Sarah, we don't pull hair. That's not nice, and makes Mommy sad.

No Sarah, we don't chew on books. We won't have any books left to read if we chew on them.

No Sarah, we don't walk with toys in our mouth. If we fall we could really get hurt.

I haven't had the need to yell at her yet, but she understands what I'm saying because lately she's started crying when I tell her to stop chewing on the books or whatever.

Re: When to start discipline....

At 9 months when Jared was running around in his walker, he would grab everything and anything. That's when I started the "no's", especially when it's something dangerous.

Re: When to start discipline....

When I say no to Julia, she gets soooo mad and clenches her fists and yells at me. Its so funny, but then I feel bad and end up giving in, (I know its not the right thing to do) but I feel so bad when she does that.
I only say no to her when she bites me when BF, or if shes trying to grab something off the table that she shouldnt touch, so its not that often.

Re: When to start discipline....

I would always redirect their attention to something else. like if one of them pulled my hair, smacked or bit me, I'd say, no, be nice and show them what nice was.. whether it was gently touching my face or gently stroking my hair and then they would pick up on it and the word "Nice" was one of their first words because it was said to them so often.

It's perfectly normal for them to act out and slap, hit, bite, pull. They have no idea what it means and are simply looking to see what will happen if they bite/smack/pull/hit... They will grow out of this phase.

Good luck!

Re: When to start discipline....

We've been saying 'no' for a while now to him. It's mostly when he's going for something he shouldn't grab that could be dangerous or if he's pulling hair or hitting which he does occasionally. He usually throws a fit and either falls on the floor screaming or crying or tries to hit in anger which requires even more 'no's and be 'nice-nice' as we call it...

Re: When to start discipline....

We say "no" when he's grabbing things that he shouldn't be touching (mainly things that can hurt him.) Of course he has no clue. In fact, sometimes he laughs when we say "no", so I guess it's useless at this point

Re: When to start discipline....

I might be raising a brat too because I haven't started saying "no" to him at all yet.

The only times I've said no is when he tries to lick the floor, the computer, or the dog.

Re: When to start discipline....

I just started (7.5 months). Now that he can kind of get around, he loves to go near the TV and everything around it. When he does I always say "Nooooo"....he just looks at me and laughs..he thinks it's our little game .

Re: When to start discipline....

Re: When to start discipline....

Re: When to start discipline....

We have both tried to use "no" in emergency situations only (the stairs, electrical cords, etc)

instead at about 6 months when DS started crawling after the dog, we taught him "gentle" we showed him how to pet the dog and constantly said "gentle" I would say by 8 months he knew the word and would pet the dog (or human) gently.

about 8-9 months we introduced the word "careful" when he started standing/cruising. If he was reaching for something on a table or climbing on something small. or just acting like a nutcase

when he hurts me, I say "ouch" and put on a sad face and then say "gentle" and show him a nicer way to interact.



I can't remember where I heard the "gentle" "careful" advise, but I like it.

Message edited 4/13/2006 10:28:35 AM.

Re: When to start discipline....

As soon as John started crawling and tried to grab things that might hurt him we've been telling him no. Now that he's walking and into everything he hears it a lot more often. He doesnt like being told no and will put his head on the couch and scream for a minute and then he forgets about it.

I dont see anything wrong with early discipline. I dont mean a spanking, but there is nothing wrong with teaching your children right from wrong and doing it at an early age. I have seen the effects of a few children who were never told no and now they are so bratty it makes my blood boil. I'll be
d a m n e d if my son grows up to be bratty.

Re: When to start discipline....

Re: When to start discipline....

I tell him no if he shouldn't be doing something...that simple. I don;t want to allow behavior now that I will have to try to change down the line, so from the beginning we have been telling him no. It is worth a tantrum now if in a few years he behaves correctly.

Re: When to start discipline....

Posted by Ambersmom
Don't you just love the throwing themselves to the floor? We have tile in our kitchen/dining room, so when she decides to pull that in either of those rooms, she'll gingerly lower herself to the floor (lesson learned previously from clunking herself in the head) and start in with the wails, etc. It's hysterical!!!

Re: When to start discipline....

wow...thanks for all the responses. I like the idea of explaining why she can't do or have something or making the sad face if she hurts me. I'm gonna try that approach.