what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Ok my best friend is really goods friends with this girl she met at work. They have worked together for almost I'd 5 years. MY best friend Mis went to this girls wedding and everything a few years ago. The girl has been with her "DH" (not so darling in my opinion but...) for over 8 years. They have a 7 year old son and she just gave birth to twins like 6 months ago. Lately her DH has been calling my best friend at work (her n hhis wife work on seperate floors/units) and she talks to him for a minute or two and will just be like OK I have to go or whatever. They are friends but not friends friends ya know, just through the wife. Well the last few days, he has been text messaging her with thinks like "Do you want me?" and "how much do you want me?" and a few other things along that line. She has NOT text messaged him back at all. She isnt sure if she should say anythign to her friend or not and really I havent a CLUE what to tell her. Should she, being this girls friend say something? She is afraid if she does he will turn it around on her or she may get mad at her. Whats your take on this? I think for me I would want to know if my DH was doing this.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

I don't think she has a choice but to tell her friend. And she may lose the friendship but it's the right thing to do, this girl needs to know. It would be different if she heard about him doing it to someone else but he's doing it to her!

It's just a sh!tty situation. to your friend!

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

I would tell your best friend to tell the guy to knock it off or his wife will be told. I personally would not tell the wife. I would not talk to her husband either.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

IMO, if she is this girl's friend, she should let her know what her husband is really like, risking her friend getting mad at her. She has the text messages to prove it.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

See thats what I said. I mean I am a witness to it so its not like she is makig it up. I was there when she got text. I told her she should maybe tell her and show her the messages. Its not her fault her friends dh is an ***

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Posted by Leeners

I don't think she has a choice but to tell her friend. And she may lose the friendship but it's the right thing to do, this girl needs to know. It would be different if she heard about him doing it to someone else but he's doing it to her!

It's just a sh!tty situation. to your friend!

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

I would tell her, even if it meant risking the friendship.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

i would stay out of it and ignore it for one simple reason

your friend works with this girl, meaning she sees her every day. If this thing gets ugly and she turns on her, it could effect her professional life.

IMO

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Thanks guys! Im gonna foward this thread to her for her to see. I dont think she should just ignore it. Its not going to go away that way. Besides God forbid her friend sees her dh phone and reads them going to her. For me I would automatically think she was responding to them if she didnt tell me what was going on.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

I would def. tell her..... If she keeps it a seceret and her friend finds out another way...shes gonna think that her friend and her hubby were in on this together...

To me keeping quiet makes it look like she has something to hide...(even though shes innocent)

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

If it was my DH I would want to know. I would be p*ssed if my friend didn't tell me. She needs to tell this girl and show her the test messages to back up her story - because you know the friend is going to be in denial.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Message edited 8/5/2005 4:29:01 PM.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

I honestly have to agree with Don on this one.

If she tell's the friend it's most likely going to backfire on her anyway. Most people have an idea if their DH is a cheater, but don't want to be faced with it.
She should tell the guy that if he does it again she is going to tell his wife...if he continues then she should tell his wife, knowing the friendship is lost.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

She should definitely tell her and show her the text messages. It may harm the firnedhsip now if the firned dones't believe her, but when the truth finally dawns on her she will thank your friend

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

if it were a friend outside of work, the i could see this

but since work is involved, it's a different story since it will likely have an effect on her job

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Even though its work - since they work on different floors - and they are friends outside the office I think this girl deserves to know what a snake her husband is being.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

I have to wonder why this man feels he can call her like this? I don't think that a guy would start doing that out of no where.

I would have a heart to heart with my own friend and tell her that the next time this fool calls her she is to say in no uncertain term that he is NOT to call her EVER AGAIN or she will 1. have him speak to her DH or 2. will be speaking to his wife!

I wouldn't immediately tell the wife.

Re: what would YOU do? (((Long)))

Next time he calls or texts her she needs to say to him, "cut it out or I will tell your wife". If she tells the wife first, there are so many ways this could get turned around by him saying he was joking around and stuff like that. I have to agree with Don on this one in that since it is work related, there is just no crossing the line.