What would you do........

My SD will be 13 when the baby comes and she really wants to be in the delivery room. I don't know if it is even allowed, but I am definitely on the fence about it. I also don't think my DH's ex would allow it. But if it was possible what would you do???

What would you do........

I would tell her nobody under the age of 17 is allowed, but as soon as the baby is born, she can come right in.

Re: What would you do........

This happened with my bff her sd was 15 and was in the room until my bff freaked out and told her to leave. She said it was just too much for her to have her sd in there.

What would you do........

I would not feel comfortable having my 13 year old DD in the room either this time or with DS. I would tell her that as SOON as she can come in to see the baby she will be there.

Re: What would you do........

I have two stepdaughters, ages 8 and 10. We're very close. If they were older and wanted to (and if it were allowed) I would be fine with it. I might want to show them some birth videos beforehand to make sure they knew what they were getting into. I also would not say yes without discussing with their father, knowing there would probably need to be a discussion with their mother.

ETA: Every family dynamic is different. I've really thrown myself into making sure my girls feel like we're a family and like they are as much a part of it as they would be if they were my biological kids. When we got married we let them give speeches, have the MOH designation, etc. They told us they wanted to do those things and I kind of let them guide me about what they want/need to feel their best about any situation. So it would just sort of go along with our dynamic for me to seriously consider the idea of them being present if they asked me to be. In my situation, they are too young for that now so it's a non-issue. But maybe you're situation is different so I just wanted to add that I know the right thing for me might not be the right thing for someone else. Good luck!

ETA AGAIN!!: Lol. My SDs really like the idea of everyone finding out the baby's gender at the same time with one of those gender reveal type get togethers. Maybe you could offer to have your SD at the sonogram where you find out the gender (if you are going to) or at another later sonogram where she can see really great shots of the baby moving around.

Message edited 9/22/2012 5:07:13 PM.

Re: What would you do........

What would you do........

I'm going to stray away form what pp said and say if you are candid about what delivery entails, and you maybe watch one on you tube and she is ok I say go for it! I had some unique experiences as a teenager and watching a live birth and helping in a gonorrhea exam made me stray away....way away from getting that close to another person. If it's to much for her she could always leave. It's not like she would have to stay if it got overwhelming for her.

What would you do........

Wait until you get closer to make a decision about it. If you choose to attend a birthing class, see if she can come along too if you really want to involve her, and see how comfortable she is with the process and the possibility of complications. I was 13 when my dad remarried and I don't think I would've been in a place in my life to go through all of that. Since she's asked and is interested, though, and you seem to be ok with it, take it one step at a time and see where you are come April.

You may also want to check with the hospital and see if she can be there. Ours just changed their rules recently and no longer limit who and how many in the delivery room but it used to be husband plus a doula only.