what to do? long

Ok, heres the situation. My bf and I moved to VA so he can go to a tech school. I put my school on hold for a semester so he can get his done.

Now we are here in VA and have been for about a month. Neither of us are currently working, I have a job but the place is new and the owner keeps switching the opening, so I never know when I will start. My bf had a job for 2 days that was related to what he was going to his tech school for, but Monday he decided he didnt think it would be a good idea to go to this school bc he wasnt sure if its what he wants to do and he doesnt want to waste the money. So he's not going and we're 500 miles away from odinary, familiar everyday things.

I know I shouldnt be angry but I am. I mean I changed my life around to come here for the year that it was gonna take for him to finish. Now hes not even gonna do it. We could break our lease and go home or stay the year. to break the lease we have to pay 4 months rent which we have but it will leave us with very little money.

Now my job can start anyday and since neither of us are bringing money in, its important I start.
His step dads mother just died. A lady he or I never met and that his step dad wasnt fond of.
He wants to go home for the funeral, which normally I would, but with my job starting anyday, I dont want to go. he is mad at me. I dont know what to do. go to the funeral or not?
should we wait out our lease or go home?

sorry so long!

Re: what to do? long

Oh wow, you have a lot going on. First of all, about the funeral, remember that they're not for the person who died; they're for the people who miss them. So if it means a lot to your bf that you're there for him and his family, I think you should go. (But I couldn't tell from your post if that's the case or if he's just trying to guilt you into going because he doesn't feel like traveling alone).

Second... if you're miserable in VA and the only reason you went was so that he could go to tech school and now he's not going... why stay? I realize that it's a lot of money for you to break your lease, but can you put a price on your happiness? If every day that you're there you're wishing that you weren't -- that's worth any amount of money, I think. It was supposed to be temporary anyway, right? So you never planned on putting down roots there, getting a job with upward mobility, making long-lasting friendships? If I were you, I'd chuck it up as a loss and live where you want to live. I know it's not that easy, but again, I don't know your whole situation, and just knowing the "surface level" that I do, that's my advice.

GOOD LUCK!!

Re: what to do? long

Aside from me selfishly wanting you home I feel if you both are in agreement that you are gonna come home (NY) when your lease is up- why prolong the inevitable?

The way I see it- you can pay the next 4 months, and come home tomorrow OR you can stay there for another 11 months and come home... Its not even cost effective to stay...

You have expressed to me how miserable you are there, and how your relationship was taking the brunt end of you guys' unhappiness. I know its not that you hate VA and I know you love your apt. but lets face it- YOU BOTH ARE HOME SICK!!!

Please don't feel like you failed- You haven't!!!!!! The beauty of the situation is that NOTHING (no jobs or schooling) is holding you to VA- You have friends and family here who are more than willing to help you with anything you need